Take Your Kid to Work Day is Here. And Moms Everywhere Realize it’s Been a Sham All Along.
It was only last year when coming to work with a baby on your hip or a well-dressed toddler for ‘Take Your Kid to Work Day’ was a day to look forward to for moms. A time for your co-workers to meet the little one behind the mid-meeting yawns or the toy truck jingling at the bottom of my work bag. It was the one day when working moms like me felt a sense of accomplishment when the two worlds we juggle collide: both proud to show our kids the place we disappear to every day and proud to show our co-workers the children we’ve subsequently been raising when we’re not in the office.
Let’s remember, not that long ago, it was called “Take Your Daughter to Work Day.” When little girls born in the 80’s were encouraged to see what mom or dad does when they leave the house five days a week, in hopes that it could encourage them to grow up with their own career aspirations outside of the house. Seems archaic and full of gender bias now, but I remember clearly heading into the office with my dad who’s boss told me “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” and I felt a beaming sense of pride. Maybe, I realized, I could get dressed up and power lunch with my coworkers one day, too. Or when I went to work with my mom who had such a strong camaraderie with her coworkers and expectant mothers they supported every day as ultrasound techs, I realized I could make great friends on the job, we can laugh and lunch, and that work can be rewarding and fun.
At the San Francisco tech office I used to work in, Take Your Kid to Work Day was a strategically planned day of activities to keep the kids entertained, well-fed, and minimize the risk of a melt down. I’ve heard stories of the day including everything from a build-a-bear station to baby yoga to the office kitchen filled with chicken fingers, french fries and cupcakes. The kids loved it. It was the perfect one day experience that gave them the glossy perspective on being a working parent. Whether it was my experience in the 80s or my own kids’ impression last year, we all left thinking mom’s job is FUN.
Aspirational, but unrealistic.
Fast forward to the ironies of 2020, when our kids have been thrown into the trenches of the realities of being a working mom. For those of us lucky enough to continue working from home, it’s not Take Your Kid to Work Day, it’s Take Your Kid to Work Quarter. For six weeks straight, that’s 42 days (but who’s counting), our kids have been watching us multitask motherhood and full-time jobs day in and day out. Some moms have even lost their jobs during this time and now have the gut wrenching task of explaining a layoff to their kids.
I can only imagine how formative this entire quarantine experience will be for kids, particularly our little girls, who will see first hand that being a working mom truly is juggling two full time jobs at the same time. If you are a breastfeeding mom, add another 20+ hours to your work week from home. There are no breaks, cold coffee is a power lunch, and leggings with a top bun is all you need to wear to get everything done. We are redefining success. This time, on mom’s terms.
My kids have learned more about what mom does outside the house by watching me actually do it for weeks at a time inside the house. They will quickly realize that mom doesn’t build-a-bear or break for baby yoga, but there are plenty of high stress moments, small victories, and constant interruptions.
My own two kids, who are 3 and 5, have listened into video conference meetings, heard me laughing with my co-founder, colored nearby listening to the clickity-clack of the keyboard as a project comes to life, and watched me disappear behind a locked bedroom door to focus. They are watching mom crush it and thrive as both COO of Bobbie and CEO of the house.
Our company, Bobbie, was founded by moms and currently employs all moms. There are 33 kids between all of us and right now we’re the most flexible and agile we’ve ever been. We’ve prioritized flexibility among our team, as we work steadfastly on bringing our US-made, direct to consumer infant formula to market. We start each team meeting with a personal and professional check in since we know what happens in your mom life impacts your work life. We learned to embrace the awkward silence in a Google Hangout while we all brainstorm the exact phrase we want to use for a key brand deliverable on a deadline. We’ve learned to let toddlers crash the call and sit on laps while the work continues. We’ve learned that a bad nap means cancelled conference calls or postponed until after bedtime, and that’s ok.
Our team’s level of empathy for everyone’s unique situation has never been higher and our work never as focused. I’m humbled watching our team of all moms juggle building a company and raising kids, some of them with babies as young as 4 months old, all from their kitchen counters, beds, bathrooms, basements or by the stove while making lunch for the kids.
So on this 2020 Take Your Kid to Work Day, let’s remember that what started off as a nightmare situation of juggling babies and working from home has become a lifelong lesson for our kids, and for us. Let’s continue to unabashedly bring our whole selves to work and not just expect women to be “working moms” for one polished office holiday each year. For the first time, Take Your Kids to Work Day will serve its original purpose: truly demonstrating to our kids what being a working parent is all about. I hope that we don’t just go back to the way it was when the shelter in place lifts. Because for all of us, kids included, everything has changed.
