To the egg sandwiches I love
“…and while Dave is awesome in all those ways, he is an even better friend. Through the good times and the bad times, he’s always been there for me.” –fake quote from a fake best man speech
“She was always happy to see me, she never judged me. Through the good times and bad, as soon as my keys were in the door, I could hear Lou Ellen clumsily and excitedly scampering to meet me at the front door. She was always there for me.” –fake quote from a fake dog person
Some of us have dander allergies, some a preference for cats or a moral discomfort with the domestication of other species, some of us may not have a Dave, but for those of us without such a someone or something, well despair not for there is something attainable out there that will be there for us through thick and thin and that something is the egg sandwich.
How can an egg sandwich always be there for us if it is only — merely — an egg sandwich? If “always being there” means being able to be supportive, helpful, etc. in any and all situations, then how can an egg sandwich be so much? It can do so through versatility; not the versatility of a single sandwich, but the versatility provided by the greatness of its many variations.
Bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel; pork roll and egg with hot sauce; sausage, egg, and cheese on a Kaiser with salt, pepper, and ketchup; a Wawa Sizzli; the McMuffin and McGriddle; homemade egg and cheese on an English muffin; over easy egg with avocado and Siracha on toast; these great sandwiches certainly cannot be considered the same sandwich, but they can all be considered subsets of the same sandwich, that being our beloved egg sandwich.
While it is because of the breadth and quality of its subsets that the egg sandwich can be our Lou Ellen or our Dave, the onus is on us, the eater, to make the egg sandwich our ol’ reliable. To do so, we must embrace variety; we must be willing pivot where in the past we found safety in the default. Put differently, while a single type of egg sandwich cannot always be there for us, there is almost always an ideal egg sandwich for the given breakfast sandwich situation. To enjoy the egg sandwich and all its greatness more fully we must be able to enjoy its variety by matching its subsets to fit our own tastes at any given time. Such a selection is highly personal — we must look within ourselves and best get to know our own desires, preferences, and physiologies in order to decide which egg sandwich is best for ourselves at any given time, but, that said, we can still draw inspiration from others.
For example, I have learned from others that the humble homemade egg and cheese, a sandwich for most of my life I felt to be incomplete, a sandwich I believed to be at an absolute disadvantage to other variations of the egg sandwich, is perfectly suited for a weekday breakfast in its ability to satisfy, while also providing some semblance of caloric and financial responsibility. If you too are looking for such inspiration, then feel free to take a look at my suggestions and preferences below. If you are not, I hope you seek not the safest egg sandwich in any give circumstance, but instead the one that will bring you the most happiness.
The Bacon, Egg, and Cheese: The most dependable of all egg sandwiches, the bacon making it the least dependent among egg sandwiches on the quality of the other components of the sandwich. The BEC is the go-to for many because its high floor allows consumers to avoid the higher risk that comes with some of the other, more variable options. To me, though, we leave a lot of upside and endorphins on the table when we make the BEC our primary or only egg sandwich option. Consequently, I believe the BEC is best served as a fall back option, the sandwich we go to when uncertainty, whether about the producer or our digestion or anything else, is involved. Enjoying this variation less frequently also allows the BEC to play up as a change of pace option.
The Egg and Cheese: As mentioned previously, the egg and cheese’s low costs and reasonable calorie count make this the ideal sandwich to make for breakfast (or even lunch) on a busy day. While American cheese is a staple for other egg sandwich types (and rightfully so, its melting style and flavor profile make it a perfect addition to bacon and egg or sausage and egg), the egg and cheese sandwich really plays up with bolder cheeses. Sharp cheddar is a classic and gouda also works wonders. Currently, though, my favorite cheese for this sandwich has been a pepper jack cheese, preferably one on the more peppery end of that spectrum.
The Sausage, Egg, and Cheese: In August, Ted Berg of USA Today superbly paid homage to the SEC in his “Sandwich of the Week” column. As Twitter discussion around this article noted, at its best, the SEC is terrific, but at its worst (usually with link sausage instead of the preferred sausage patty) it can be quite disappointing. So when you order an SEC, make sure that you have done your homework and scouting, that your sources are reliable, or that you are willing to roll the dice.
Regarding bread choice, Berg writes, “I prefer my egg sandwiches on rolls — bagels, though good, disrupt the bread-to-filling ratio I expect in a breakfast sandwich.” In general, I agree with Berg here, particularly when the sandwich filling is on the heartier side, such as pork roll or sausage; as a bagel with those fillings can be overwhelming and thus unenjoyable even if the individual components are satisfactory. I do believe, though, that the BEC can play up on the right bagel.
The Pork Roll, Egg, and Hot Sauce: Likely the most controversial egg sandwich opinion in this article is that the pork roll and egg sandwich is better without cheese. It is my belief that pork roll contains such high levels of greasiness, saltiness, and overall deliciousness that cheese only leads to oversaturation and distraction. Additionally, hot sauce, and to a lesser extent ketchup, works to contrast and complement the fattiness of the pork roll and egg. The pork roll, egg, and hot sauce on a roll is therefore my primary order amongst places that I know serve above average egg sandwiches. It should be noted that this sandwich is not meant for future productivity, though, and is best for sitting around watching sports all day, being lazy in any capacity, and/or nursing a hangover, ideally enjoyed with some Halo Farms or Hy-Point Farms chocolate milk.
The Ham, Egg, and Cheese or the Ham, Egg, and Hot Sauce: when we don’t want to go full-fatty breakfast meat in any of the above situations, but we don’t want to go without meat, the leaner ham, egg, and cheese or ham, egg, and hot sauce can be an ideal compromise. Like sausage on breakfast sandwiches, I have found great inconsistency in the ham quality on these sandwiches; thus, we will again either need good reconnaissance or high risk tolerance should we go this route.
The Scrapple, Egg, and Cheese: the mysterious breakfast meat unfairly gets a bad rap and does so largely from those who have never tried it. Scrapple deserves better and deserves our love. A well done scrapple with over easy eggs, home fries, and coffee at a diner should be something enjoyed by all those unopposed to the consumption of meat. That said, scrapple, to me, does not have the right texture to work as a sandwich filling.
The Wawa Sizzli: The best option if you are fueling up before a long drive, in need of breakfast at a beach town that has subpar or inconvenient breakfast options, in a rush in college, heading to an early morning tailgate, and there are surely others I am missing. The Sizzli pairs perfectly with both Wawa coffee and Wawa chocolate milk. Buying all the Sizzlis in the Ready-to-Go™ display case is called a wipeout per a cashier at a Newark, Delaware Wawa in May of 2012.
The McMuffin and McGriddle: these are the best options when we face the circumstances described in the Wawa Sizzli section above should Wawa not be an option. These McDonalds breakfast sandwiches are also solid options at the airport.
The Egg, Avacado, and Siracha on Toast: while we are all tired of seeing pictures of some variation of this from food accounts on Instagram or Pinterest, the sandwich itself is delicious and relatively healthy.
The Forager at High Street on Market: I have never tried this sandwich of mushroom, kale, over easy egg, swiss, and black trumpet mayo, but I really want to.
The Egg Taco and Breakfast Burrito: while we can debate whether these offerings are truly sandwiches, their deliciousness is not up for debate. Places serving egg tacos are tough to find in many areas of the country, but a simplified homemade version works great for a quick breakfast or lunch.
Conversely, The breakfast burrito can be found at many establishments (particularly at places that serve brunch), but are often offered at establishments that have no business doing so and are thus usually underwhelming. A great breakfast burrito, though, can reach the upper echelon of egg sandwich deliciousness (as does the one served at Small World Coffee’s Nassau Street location in Princeton, New Jersey).
I am surely missing other egg sandwiches, so let this not be the end of a conversation, but rather the beginning. Please share with us and others your egg sandwich best practices so that we can all share in that happiness. At the very least, let us all endeavor to further enjoy all the options the egg sandwich provides.
