Diet and Exercise Don’t Work
But Nourishment and Movement Do
I vividly remember the first time I lost weight. I trimmed out the junk food, increased my exercise. The weight slid off. People were complimenting me. I felt pretty, riding the illusion of being in control of my body.
I was fourteen.
So I, like many, began a dangerous spiral. Food became my enemy. Exercise wasn't fun. Every step, every drop of sweat was in penance. I begged absolution from calories, from chocolate and cheese.
I begged absolution for wanting, for needing.
Some struggle to understand my story: I didn't have a classic disorder. I didn't starve myself nor did I purge in the bathroom after each meal. I wasn’t a compulsive eater. What were my issues? I tried to eat perfectly. I avoided anything with fat, anything with grease, anything that screamed pleasure.
Let me tell you: a Jewish girl makes a terrible monk.
But I was a champion at laying on the guilt. How could I gain a pound? How could I eat two pieces of cake? How could I skip a day of running? How could I be so lazy, so out of control?
This cycle lasted for ten years. I had erratic periods. My weight fluctuated down and up, down and up. As the ups lengthened, the downs shortened. My face grew rounder and rounder. I felt more and more out of control.
My personal experience taught me a radical truth: diets and exercise don’t work. Shame and guilt don’t work.
Ten years of this cycle and what had I gotten? I wasn't happy. I was full of guilt, full of shame. I was at my heaviest weight ever. Worse, I had no idea what my body wanted let alone needed.
I was lost. Lost in the hamster wheel we create for women and men. We chase an ideal of beauty . We chase the dream with food, exhaustive exercise, pills, or even laxatives.
But that ideal is crueler than Plato’s cave. We are told that we can and should achieve this level of beauty! Yet we can’t, we never could. It’s a reality that even the supermodels and actresses can’t achieve with the best trainers the best diets.
It was at this low point when I found Health at Every Size (HAES). I realized thin or fat wasn't the right health issue. What I needed was to nourish my body, and find enjoyable physical movement. I needed to listen to myself.
By listening to myself, I could eat well and be healthy. No diet, no rigid exercise regimen. No guilt.
The body isn't a villain. Food is not the enemy. Food nourishes, sustains all of us. The body is the best barometer for what you need and don’t need. If you listen, it’s enough.
It took me over a year to embrace these ideas. A 10 year old pattern of guilt doesn't change overnight. But slowly, I began to eat what I wanted. I could have ice cream, or not. I could eat nachos, or not. Not only do I eat whatever I want, but I feel free to say no.
I still work out, but I don’t go to the gym. Instead, I dance around my house, or practice yoga. Sometimes I’ll just walk around DC for hours. Sure I don’t sweat, but my body is happy.
I am happy.
Sometimes I still feel the guilt, but it comes less and less. Even better? I have a relationship with myself based on love, not guilt. I’m grateful for reaching this place every day.
To be fair, critics will show studies and statistics about how diet and exercise do work. Yes, if you were able to perfectly stick to a diet and exercise regimen, it can work. Very, very few people can do that. But let me ask you this:
When you go on a diet, do you actually enjoy what you eat? Or do you find yourself craving other foods?
When you work out, do you enjoy it? Or do you count the minutes until it’s over.
In my experience, guilt is a terrible motivator. Pleasure motivates more effectively every time. If you enjoy your exercise, you’ll want to do it. If you like eating healthy food, you’ll want to eat it. Not only will you gain the long term health benefits, but also the immediate pleasure of enjoying activities and food you love.
As the New Year approaches, I ask you to think about this. Don’t resolve to lose weight, join a gym, or go on a diet. Ask yourself: what activities do you love but haven’t done for a while? When was the last time you ate a meal slowly, savoring each bite? Maybe you’ll start dancing in your living room after work, or start hiking on the weekends. Perhaps you’ll slow down and realize you crave different foods.
Maybe you’ll lose weight. Maybe you’ll gain weight. But I promise that you will be happier. In the long run, you’ll be healthier. Most importantly, you will live your life with love, not guilt.
Resolve to have a relationship with yourself not based on guilt, but love. See where it takes you.
Wherever you are, I wish you a happy and healthy new year. May 2014 be a year full of love, blessings, and joy for you and yours.
————————————————————————————————-
Enjoy the piece? Recommend it below!
