12 Easy Ways to Relieve Stress in 2021
Last year was probably one of the most stressful in modern history for the majority of people on this planet. So, instead of the 12 days of Christmas (which is behind us now anyway), or a 12-step program, here’s my list of 12 easy, no-cost ways to relieve stress to see you into the new year and beyond.
#1 Move Your Body
In whatever way appeals and is accessible to you, MOVE!
In their book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, Amelia Nagoski and Emily Nagoski remind us, “Physical activity is the single most efficient strategy for completing the stress response cycle.”
So — dance, run, swim, walk — whatever you enjoy and can do easily. It doesn’t even have to be much. Stretching your body out periodically helps.
#2 Get Fresh Air
Get outside if you can for at least a few minutes a day. Open a window or a door if you can’t physically get out. Fresh air helps “sweep the cobwebs away.”
Bonus! we’ve learned this past year that there are added benefits to being outdoors and having good ventilation!
Do what I do and combine moving your body and getting fresh air — a walk outside is all it takes.
#3 Green Your Brain!
Connecting with nature is not quite the same thing as getting fresh air. It’s what Sian Beilock, in her book How the Body Knows its Mind, calls “greening the brain!”
In fact, even if you cannot get outside, you can connect with nature in a beneficial way simply by looking at photographs, or through the window.
Beilock writes, “…nature’s ability to modestly capture our involuntary attention and give the rest of our brain a break creates a big impact on how we function.”
So, find ways to “green your brain” every day!
#4 Breathe…Out
This is not your typical tip to take a deep breath. In fact, I see a lot of people do that in stressful ways. This is more about noticing your breath, which in itself may change things. Then, if you notice you’ve been holding your breath, or your breathing is feeling shallow or restricted, simply let the breath out.
A nice practice can be to do a round of three breaths in the following way:
First let out very gently through your lips, as if you’re blowing out a candle, any breath you have (don’t “take” a breath first). Then simply allow the breath to come back in through the nose. Once the breath has come in (without forcing), then breathe out again gently through the lips as if blowing out a candle. Repeat two more times, then allow your breath to return to normal.
This can be a great calming tool.
#5 Smile
A smile is a wonderful thing and can do wonders for your mood. Studies have been done showing that simply having your mouth in the smiling position (people were asked to have a pen between their teeth for a short time) without the notion of smiling had a positive effect on mood.
It’s also reciprocal. It’s hard for most people not to smile back if someone smiles at them. Even with masks, the eyes will tell you that someone is smiling. And of course, take every opportunity on Zoom to smile at the other participants. It’s a stress-relief gift we can easily share with others!
#6 Laugh (and Cry)
Laughing is such a great stress-buster — even better than a smile! Find ways to laugh as much as possible. Funny cat videos aren’t a waste of time (within reason!) if they make you laugh.
You don’t even have to find anything funny — when done willingly, even “fake” laughing has then same positive effect on the body. Laughter Yoga is built on this premise. It’s a simple and fun was of exercising our laughter “muscles” — you laugh for no reason, just because, and it soon becomes real!
One of the “exercises” we do is called “Laugh Cry” — it’s funny to pretend to cry and then laugh it out!
Interestingly laughing and crying are closely related. A good cry can also be cathartic. Indeed, cortisol — the stress hormone — is released in our tears, so you are literally getting the stress out of your body!
#7 Connect with Others
We’re built as human beings for social connection. Even if you can’t yet be physically in the same space as your friends, find safe ways to connect with which you are both comfortable. If you don’t feel safe, that’s only going to add to your stress. Even a text from a friend can bring a huge boost. I like socially distanced walks outside with a friend (social connection, plus fresh air, plus movement!). Zoom calls and Facetime have been another lifeline. Phone calls, texts, emails, even social media (if used judiciously) can help.
#8 Find Your Support
Right now — what are you sitting on — or standing on? That’s your physical support! It’s always there, with the ground beneath that. Simply notice that contact you are making.
Bringing your attention to what’s physically supporting you is grounding — it gets us out of our head and into the here and now — the present. And that’s a moment of stress relief.
#9 Center Yourself in Space
Like the ground beneath you, you can find support and presence in bringing your awareness to the space around you — the space in front of you (that’s easy), but also the space behind, above and below, to either side, and in every direction. If you’re looking at a screen (like right now, as you read this), be aware that there’s space between you and the screen. There’s space also beyond the screen. There are so many ways to be aware of space — the physical space we’re in, the spaces in the space, the spaces between things, and between you and those things, the space beyond the walls, space into infinity.
Whatever way you bring your awareness to space, it will help you become more centered and present — and that means you’re also giving yourself a bit more space between you and anything that is stressing you — even for a moment.
#10 Shift Your Perspective to Ease
This is a cornerstone of my BodyIntelligence work and practice. The idea is simple. Basically, as humans, we are more or less “programmed” to be alert for problems and danger — for good reason. However, most of us find ourselves chronically and habitually always noticing physical pain and discomfort, worrying and catastrophizing — the modern world (and especially this past year) provides a multitude of real concerns and challenges. However, it is not the whole story. Intentionally being curious about what is actually working well, or even just doing a bit better, that feels a bit more comfortable or just normal (physically and in our lives), has a real psychophysical impact on our being. I call this noticing ease. In fact, you don’t have to notice anything at all. Simply offering yourself the opportunity to be curious about ease is a shift in the direction of ease and away from the tensions and problems — just for a moment.
Try thinking the phrase, “I am free to notice ease.” Think it very lightly to yourself, with no intent to notice anything — your job is simply to do the thinking. Think and let go! You may very well notice something, but that is not the goal. It’s a whisper of possibility — an invitation to be curious. Come back to this as much as you can as a way to redress the balance, and don’t worry when you forget and find yourself mired in your problems. All you have to when you do remember, is come back to the thought again and let it go.
#11 Name and Notice
Name and notice your stress. So often we’ll say to ourselves, “I’m stressed” for instance. But what do we mean?
Get curious about it. Stress can come in many different forms. Are you feeling sad, overwhelmed, anxious, angry, frustrated, or something else? Get specific and name it.
Once you’ve named it, instead of claiming it, put some space between you and the stress. Rather than “I’m sad” reframe first as “I’m feeling sad” and then “I notice that I’m feeling sad.” You are both being present to what you are feeling and giving yourself some space between you and the feeling. Just that shift to being in the observer role can make a big difference.
#12 Self-Compassion
This is SO important. We can beat ourselves up for feeling stressed, for not doing the self-care, for not doing any of the above — for not being perfect! No one is perfect. We are all human. We all suffer and experience a wide range of emotions.
Kristen Neff, who wrote the book Self Compassion, developed a sort of “self-compassion mantra” which you can use too:
This is a moment of suffering.
Suffering is part of life.
May I be kind to myself in this moment.
May I give myself the compassion I need.
It’s so easy to load stress upon stress upon stress — beating ourselves up with what we think we should be feeling or doing. Instead, recognizing that suffering is universal — that we are not alone — and being kind to ourselves, as we would be to a friend, can stop the stress cycle in its tracks.
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You may notice that many of these 12 stress relief tactics can easily be combined with each other. Being mindful and present to what is is key. These may be ways to relieve stress — they are also opportunities for self-care, which I see as two sides of the same coin.
Doing any of these simple things regularly gives you the skills and practices that help build resilience — you’ll have go-to tools that you can draw on at times of stress AND will have built more resilience to boot.
What way do you choose?
What do you already do?
And what can you add to it to make it more potent?
