7 Tips For Talking About Body Awareness With Kids | The BodyMind Connection
Talking about body awareness with your kids can feel awkward at first. It may be completely different from the way you usually talk with them, and it just might not come naturally, especially if these are new ideas for you. These 7 Tips will introduce you to some different ways to go about finding your ground with this topic. Use these tips as a springboard — some may seem more natural for you than others, and by all means, use the ones that work for you.
These ideas will be most effective when you present them in your own words, but feel free to use my language word for word with your kids until you’re comfortable talking about it in your own way.
1. Put words to feelings that you observe in your child. Research shows that putting feelings into words relieves and lessens stress. Small children can’t put words to their feelings, and it helps when you do that for them. For example, when your child falls and you can see he isn’t hurt but starts to cry, say something like, “I bet that scared you. You’re ok, but it was scary to fall off your bike.” This is affirming for your child.
When you repeatedly affirm his experiences, your child can maintain trust in his physical sensation that says, “That scared me. That isn’t ok,” or “I trust this,” or “That’s not right for me.” You are sending the message that your child’s assessment of his experience is reliable.
2. Seek out and repeat your child’s words. Briefly, for example, “A man at the park was yelling and Timmy started to cry? What did THAT feel like in your body? It felt bad? I know — it feels awful to be around someone who’s yelling.” This also affirms your child’s experience.
Another possibility: “It felt scary? Yeah, that was scary for you.” This can suggest that maybe for another child it might not be scary. Another child might think it’s funny to see someone screaming their head off, but for your child it was scary. They are both good responses and assure your child that she can trust her feelings.
3. Include body awareness in conversations with your child, especially when he’s confronting something difficult. For instance, “You feel sad. Where do you feel that in your body?” This isn’t the only thing you’ll say in this situation, but ideally, it is one of the things you will mention when your child is struggling emotionally.
Talk about body awareness at ordinary times too, like how sore your arm gets stirring the batter.
4. Say what you see now, for example, “Your mouth is tight and your fists are clenched. It looks to me like you’re angry.” To your teen: “Yeah, well I know what it means when I stand with my arms crossed like that.” To your infant: “Yes, you are so upset, and your body is completely tense.”
5. Say what you saw earlier, for instance, “Remember when we went to your first swimming lesson last week and you were so excited? When we got there you didn’t want to go in. I wonder what your body felt like when that happened.” Sometimes “wondering” is better than a direct question. Feeling intimidated, like the case may well be in this example, can make a child feel vulnerable, so talking about it may be a little hard. “Wondering” what his body felt like acknowledges that there’s merit in being aware of that, without putting him on the spot.
6. Talk about your feelings and where you experience them in your body. I am so happy right now — I feel like my whole body is smiling.” “When I feel angry I always feel my teeth clench and I get really still.” Whatever is true for you, verbalize it.
7. Help your child compare what they sense in their body in bad situations and in good situations. “You were mean to Jackie? What do you feel in your body about that?” “Now that you’ve apologized and you’re friends again, notice what your body feels like now. Can you tell if it feels the same or different from when you were mean to her?”
This kind of comparison is one of the most important keys you can give your child. Learning to compare how their physical feelings are affected by their choices, and that bad behavior feels bad and good behavior feels good, gives your child first-hand experience of how ethical behavior is in their best interest. This provides a lifelong guide for making good decisions.
We Want to Hear from You! Let us know which of these tips work and do not work for you, ask a question or please leave a comment!
