Brawl for All: Why Brawl Doesn’t Rule (Submitted by a Commander player)

[(ed. note) After Friday’s article I received a letter in the mail from a Commander player, I have transcribed that letter below.]

Hello <expletive deleted> this is <redacted> you may know me as one of the premiere commander luminaries. I have been playing commander for a long time, starting with the first set of preconstructed decks way back when the format was created in 2011. I have included a point by point takedown of your incorrectly hastily written article from Friday. So below see why “Brawl Doesn’t Rule”.

It doesn’t have control of or dominion over an area or people

Seriously, are you even a magic player. If you’ve played for even more than five minutes you understand that every word regarding magic has to be taken with the exact literal interpretation. Brawl is a format, not an individual. There is no possible way that a nebulous format in a card game could possibly be seen as a king, or president, or anything.

No Social Contract

How are new players supposed to know what is acceptable play if we don’t have an underpinning of you will play how we tell you to? At the store or when I go to Magicfests I always carry laminated index cards with what I find and do not find acceptable in a game of Commander, as does anyone else I know. So before any game starts we all put these in the center of the table and styles that are in everybody’s “Acceptible” list is how you are allowed to play that game. In Commander, once a new player has played with us for 8 games I will provide them with a blank and a dry erase marker so that they may also become a member of the community.

Imagine how aghast I was when this made up format trying to besmirch the name of commander was announced and they didn’t even mention the social contract? Why not just never found the constitution in America! Singleton Commander based formats require the social contract because without it anybody could just run land destruction! or counterspells! or just bring a gun! Thank you brawl for being pro-murder.

No Rules Committee

Are we really supposed to trust WOTC to run a format? Yes the initial release of Commander hit it out of the park, but since then a cardboard ombudsman of sorts, the rules committee, came into formation so that the format can remain the perfect vision of Sheldon Menery (a WOTC employee). He realized that for the health of the format it was necessary to not allow every decision to be made by lizards of the worst. So from upon high he appointed several individuals to assist with banning problem cards. I don’t think such a thing even exists at wizards.

There are no such stewards of the format in Brawl. Have fun dealing with Prophet of Kruphix when it gets reprinted in the new Theros block chumps. When you decide you are sick of that just let me know and I can get you some Commander index cards sent to you.

It Devalues my Command Towers

Command Tower is the most important card in Commander. And as such has generally commanded a decent price. And now, with these “Brawl” decks they saw fit to include a Command tower in them. Shouldn’t it be a brawl tower? As a separate card it could be immediately banned in Commander which would keep my collection safe.

All colored manarocks are ruined

Included with these brawl decks is this travesty (this individual taped the picture to his letter)

This card is straight up idiotic. Am I now expected to purchase a brawl deck just to get this card? At least the Commander decks were only bought by Commander players. Yet here we have a chase card required in all Commander games being slotted into a brawl deck. What’s next, more sol rings?

There are like ten cards to play with

Good job lizards, deciding to push this format during the time period where standard has literally the smallest possible card pool. As far as I can tell this is how you play brawl is:

Play creatures

Feel fine casting 1 for 1s

I dunno win or something

There is literally no room for brewing. All the legends are these on rails obvious cards that are either printed with a bunch of cards that support it or are on their own self sustaining value engines. There is no benefit to trying to find something of your own that may or may not work. Because with so few cards likely someone else has already tried it and it wasn’t worthwhile. So you hit edhRec, look up the top brawl cards, and just puke them into a deck together.

Planeswalkers as Commanders

From time to time there has been a clamoring from the more uneducated of the Commander Community to allow Planeswalkers to be used as Commanders (besides the five where this is allowed). Luckily Sheldy Mens has managed to cut this off everytime it comes up.

Well you swine, you can do it all you want in brawl, probably because without allowing that there would be ten possible commanders. Anyhow, there is literally zero reason to ever run a legendary creature as opposed to a planeswalker as your general. Whatever you think your sweet general is is going to just get drowned in the value that your opponent is going to have casting the same planeswalker for the seventh time.

So, now that you have seen how correct I am, I assume you will be deleting your article and publicly posting an apology on twitter.

Regards <expletive deleted>

<redacted>