niners vs iggles playoff preview spectacular

Published in

boelscardposts

3 min readJan 23, 2023

Here we are, the granduncle of em all, the NFC (national football conference) championship game (this is actually a semifinal don’t get confused) where we have the season long dominant Philadelphia Eagles vs the how did the get here San Francisco Fourty Niners. I am here to objectively predict the final score of this game. To do so we are going to compare the skill position players of both teams and assign a touchdowns (seven points, if an extra point is kicked ((ball hit off foot)) as opposed to a two point conversion ((when they try to take the ball into the end zone (((the scoring area at the end of the field))))) above replacement score to the victor. Let’s go by order of imporance on the field. so we will go

te (tight end)

wr (wide receiver)

rb (running back , formerly called a “halfback”((Not to be confused with Nickelback which is either a (((Canadian Rock and Roll juggernaut))) or (((An extra defensive back)))))

qb (quarterback)

Tight Ends

Eagles: Dallas Goedert

Mr. Goedert was givin his first name because he is a distilled formula of perpetual Cowboys greatness.

Niners: George Kibble

how is a bag of dog food supposed to catch passes

Difference of scores

EAGLES : 1td

Wide Receivers

Niners: Deebo Samuels

Wait Tiny Lister plays football? RIP, who resurrected him to play on the niners so that Brock can float ducks to him.

EAGLES

QUEZ WATKINS

This unstoppable force is a tried and true Madden all start future hall of famer. and you know what? HE AINT EVEN START, he doesn’t need to because he allows the supporting cast who cant be stopped themselves

to get their reps in from kingly generosity.

td diff

EAGLES 3td

Halfbacks

9ers

Great Value Peyton Hillis

Just imagine throwing away your entire future as a team to overpay for a dude who was run into the ground by Riverboat Ron

EAGLES: you know what, considering how lopsided this has been so far

I am just going to give this a push and allow the niners to get their field goal with this one

Charity differential: niner three points

Twenty Five Cent Backs

Eagles: Jalen MVP Hurts

Be it a shootout air raid or grit and grind titans style, Jalen Hurts is a five tool swiss army knife of a player. People try to act like mahomes was getting jordan treatment about MVP voting but Jalen is most valuable dude IN THE LEAGUE

Niners: seriously, seriously? Here is the ceiling of the fourties dude who i cant even remember the name of

Yes that is Seneca Wallace, if everything goes perfectly that is the future of your qb.

this means that the niners literally have two players worse than mediocre browns at skill positions
this was the year of the backup qb where you had cooper rush, brady zappe, and chad henne all get the spotlight, meanwhile the niners guy is just like, ho hum who?