The power of influence when you are going through crisis
“…the power to have an effect on people or things, or a person or thing that is able to do this… to affect or change how someone or something develops, behaves, or thinks…” Cambridge Dictionary
“Influence is the power to have an important effect on someone or something.If someone influences someone else, they are changing a person or thing in an indirect but important way. Sometimes a person who influences another doesn’t intend to have any effect,but sometimes they are using influence to benefit themselves. An example of a personal benefit or advantage would be the use of political influence. Influence is also a verb, from Latin — influere to flow in.” Vocabulary.com
How many people would honestly stand up and say that they have never attempted to influence anyone else or that they have never been influenced themselves? Everyone is constantly attempting to exercise influence on a daily basis — probably multiple times a day. Social media is full of opinionated people jumping on their soap boxes at every opportunity to rant about something, hoping desperately that people will agree with them; follow them so they can achieve the albeit fleeting moment of an ego-boosting sense of power and vindication that they are right. The mainstream media has largely transitioned from reporting news (albeit from one perspective or another) to creating it and perhaps even being paid to make it up. It is becoming increasingly difficult to steer a course through it all and not feel influenced.
How do we stand on our own two feet in these circumstances? How can we attempt to get a balanced view based on different perspectives and attempt to stay true to ourselves? There’s no easy answer to either of those questions when there are so many people telling us what to think. It does, however, start with awareness and understanding of where you get your information from, to have the best possible chance of exercising free will and the ability to make your own choices amidst the onslaught of ‘sponsored propaganda’ and fake news. If what is going on in the world is not enough, many others face up to the daily reality of influence and control in the home.
For many, control by narcissistic partners or family members or as a result of bullying in the workplace is an everyday occurrence. Often, this has crept up, escalated over time and quite possibly is accepted as the way things are — or the way that person is. Fear of retribution stops any retaliation. Sometimes the control may be so subtle that it is not even recognised as such and it takes that major event for a person to wake up and understand what has been going on.
When something completely turns your world on its head it is natural that you immediately feel out of control. The rapid follow-up to this is feeling that you no longer have any real influence.
You wake up to the fact that your will has been subverted by another. You may even question your intelligence as you lose your hold on what was normal and your natural state tends towards confusion. This, combined with all the chatter in your head about what has
happened, is when you may start to reinforce those beliefs that you are not worthy, or no longer influential because your perception is that no one seems to be listening to you.
When that starts to happen on any level, those are exactly the signals that others will see, regardless of the masks you wear or how you think you are showing up. Others will instinctively pick up on your insecurity and then you will probably hesitate even more, for
fear of what they may think. You believe your opinions don’t count and stop expressing yourself in the way you want. Before you know it you really have lost your voice and your influence. Suddenly your level of intelligence, your qualifications, or your experience is no longer of any consequence.
Elizabeth Carney is the author of Totally Real: A blueprint to reboot your life, published by Panoma Press.
