Member Musings: Our Relationship with Identity, Influence and Change
Internally, our self-awareness shapes our understanding of who we are, while externally, judgments and ascribed authority are bestowed upon us based on the perceptions others hold about our identity and what we represent. In the initial months of the All Together Bold program, members examined the nuances of identity and power, and explored the implications of these concepts on their actions in pursuit of advancing racial justice. A prevailing theme that surfaced emphasized the importance of being aware of the space we occupy and the roles we hold. Power is dynamic and relative, and according to member Keisha Jordan, navigating our relationship to it “requires a constant commitment to adaptability and self-awareness.”
Through interviews, we gained insights into how members conceptualize identity and power, and how they strategically employ their influence to address both the symptoms and root causes of inequity. The subsequent excerpts from these interviews are organized around central themes.
On Identity and Power
Santrice Martin (she/her), funder, Illinois Children’s Healthcare Foundation
It’s a continuous journey to understand one’s identity and how it relates to power. As you grow personally and professionally, the power one possesses becomes more realized, while at the same time, elusive. I believe that the ability to harness one’s power is the commitment to ground oneself within their values. I remain grounded in the values of humanity, integrity, and equity.
There’s an ongoing learning curve to understand the power that lies within this sector. There are moments in which I feel confident in the power that’s within the role of a Chief Operating Officer (COO) and leveraging that power to create equitable communities. Then there are times where the power is very confining which limits the ability to create changes necessary to meet the community’s needs.
Although I serve in the role of Chief Operating Officer (COO) at the Illinois Children’s Healthcare Foundation, I continue to question whether I am enough. I continue to question whether the power that is believed to be within this role is enough to create the necessary change for all communities to thrive.
I stand at the intersection of Black, Female, and Philanthropy and believe that this intersection may be (at times) powerless and powerful. You know, everyone externally looks at you and they’re like, oh, you have all this power while you’re still internally trying to process what this power means. While I continue to process what power accompanies the Chief Operating Officer role, I am not oblivious of the overall power that lies within myself (title or no title) as a Black Female.
Jake Wild Crea (he/him), consultant to nonprofits and foundations, conflict resolution and peace building
I go two routes with identity. One is a connective, pluralistic understanding of identity that comes from more mystic traditions. I like to explore notions of ‘self’ and ‘identity’ that reach beyond the physical manifestations of those concepts. At the same time, the physical manifestations and interpretations of individualistic identity are real and inform how we organize ourselves.
How this leads to power is that I hold the external identities of power in a lot of ways — I’m a tall, white person who speaks English and is able bodied. It’s very much the traditional emblem of power. I think both of those things can be true: I can see myself as a part of a greater whole, separate from individual identity, and my identity is based on tangible markers, other people’s perception of me, and the context in which I exist.
For example, when I go abroad, now my identity as a person from the United States is forefront. It doesn’t matter that I don’t actively think about that or that I hold that as an important part of my identity. I used to live in Argentina. I can’t be in Argentina and not be an American. So I have to be cognizant of what that means. Being someone from the US in a different country holds certain connotations. I don’t have to let those define me, but I do need to be aware of the historical and present-day context that those bring, and how that’s going to change people’s perception of me and my voice in that space.
Keisha Jordan (she/her/they/them), self-expression and voice activation mentor
My relationship to power is that I’ve always felt that I was in a position in society that lacked power, yet I always made it a point to challenge those who I saw as in power. Sometimes the world does make me feel powerless. I feel much more powerful in community working towards a goal.
I noticed very early on that race and sex really had a very big impact on power in our society. I felt like I had to grow up a little faster than the people around me; that they got to be more childlike and enjoy adolescence. Where for me, my race and weight were always a topic. I would straighten my hair and dye it lighter. I wore blue contacts for a while. What’s crazy is that although I was altering my appearance, I’ve always been connected to my dad’s roots. He’s from Barbados, I love Barbados, and I’ve always loved that part of me. I just wanted to fit in and get the same treatment. We were one of the only Black families and it didn’t feel like I had many people that actually understood the things that I was seeing or the things that I was going through.
Shifting Dynamics of Roles and Influence
Santrice
Professionally, I have worked on the program delivery and fundraising aspects of organizations. Now, as COO at a foundation, I am perceived differently; I am tied to financial opportunities in ways that I was not previously. There has been a shift in influence within the dynamic of this new role; however, my connection to the work has not shifted because I’ve done the work, I know the work, I understand the importance of the work, and I remain committed to that work.
I believe that the primary shift is recognizing that I’m in a position to bring this work to a much larger table surrounded by financial and social capital/resources. My connection to the work remains. What has evolved is just my ability to have a larger impact from a financial perspective on work that I’ve been passionate about my entire career.
Jake
One of the tremendous privileges I had working as a philanthropic advisor was that I could adjust my positionality. (At the company), we were intermediaries so I could be a funder, or I could be a grantee. Positioning myself as a funder, I could build relations with other funders, allowing me to understand their concerns and needs. Aided by my outward identity, I learned to speak boardroom talk, and understand the realities of wealthy institutions of power. I was seen as an ally and a partner. So I used that to be able to align different folks across organizations, find folks that were open, and be able to push equitable grant making practices.
At the same time, I could shift my position to act as a nonprofit, or grantee. I would then be a peer to nonprofits and community-based organizations. Through relationship building, I gained insights into their experience working with funding organizations and navigating philanthropy. A lot of what I did was gather information and feedback from grantees, and repackage it for the institutions of power in ways that they could digest and respond to.
My role gave me access to influence systems of power. With this access, I felt it was my responsibility to understand the needs, fears, concerns, and hopes of people in power to bridge that gap with the needs, the fears, the hopes, the concerns of folks calling for change and who are impacted by systems of power.
Keisha
The first time I felt like I had some sort of power was when I was invited to an awards ceremony, I believe in eighth grade, through one of the organizations my dad worked with. Being in a room with other racialized people and being recognized was probably the first time I thought I could do something. It was a little confusing, too, to feel that shift. It wasn’t a normal feeling; I didn’t recognize it.
Going back to the all white school after this experience, made me question a lot. Why don’t I feel like that here? Why is it so different? I thought a lot about the spaces where you do and don’t feel like you have power.
As a mixed-race black woman, (I have power in certain spaces), and I have made it one of my main goals to always use my proximity to whiteness as a tool to help raise awareness and support those who do not have this privilege. I use my voice to continuously challenge racist ideologies and to demand not only diversity but inclusion in all forms.
Effecting Change
Santrice
I am a stickler for engaging the community voice at every aspect of the work. Whenever there’s an opportunity to discuss strategy to solve the world’s problems, I’m inquiring about how we can engage the community’s voice at the table. I am not in agreement with the philanthropic sector sitting around a table and engaging in a conversation to determine how best to do the work in the community. Therefore, I continue to advocate for the engagement of the community’s voice, the act of listening to learn, and the identification of action steps alongside these voices.
Through listening to community voices, there’s an opportunity to identify new organizations to consider for grant funding in support of initiatives that create healthier children and families.
Thus, when there’s an opportunity to bring a new grantee organization to our Foundation, I am quick to consider these new groups, using a lens of equity, diversity and inclusion that places emphasis on mission alignment, programs and services offered, communities served, and the potential impact of the project proposed.
Another example of the Foundation effecting change, is when we started thinking about how to leverage our EDI commitment, not only through words, but through our money. We selected an investment advisor that aligned with its equity, diversity, and inclusion principles and reflected its commitment to investment strategies and fiduciary responsibilities suited for the overall well-being and success of the Foundation.
Jake
I think for me there are some spaces where leading with equity is the best approach and there are others where it is not. I’ll just speak to my work in conflict resolution. I create spaces where individuals in systems, both nonprofits of power and funding positions of power, can look at their behavior with a little bit of distance. When we do so collectively, it becomes apparent which practices lead toward and away from equity. I don’t need to go in with a values leading proposition of ‘equity is important’. I have found that sometimes leading with ‘equity forward’ puts folks on the defensive and that there are many ways to effect change.
I believe that most everyone in this sector wakes up every day believing that they’re doing good, and that they’re doing what they can to move this work forward. But we’re all entrenched in these systems and these positions, and we don’t necessarily realize the agency we have, or, because we work in silos, how some of our actions detract from our ultimate goal.
When I was working for nonprofits and funding organizations, I found that making change from the inside the sector was difficult because I was navigating the very dynamics I was seeking to change. I found very little space to talk openly and honestly about the power dynamics and social norms that detract from our work, and even more so from the communities our work aims to serve. So now, as a conflict resolution practitioner, a lot of my work aims to mitigate the power dynamics, and create spaces of collaboration for funders and nonprofits to work together. I use modalities that reduce risk for folks, and create spaces of psychological safety to talk about all of the challenges and barriers to effecting positive change. I believe that most folks in this sector are working towards the same end and that we are much more effective when we see ourselves as members of the same team, working toward the same goals.
Keisha
I find that the most powerful thing that you can do is to find the ways in which you can empower yourself. Find your people to do this with — find people who understand, find people who will uplift you when you feel like you can’t go anymore — because it’s a hard fight and there’s a lot of internalized oppression to undo. It’s not easy and I’m sick of people trying to glorify or romanticize DEI work. It’s hard. Ask yourself: How can I find the support? How can I give myself what I need while I’m in the fight?
The narratives of Santrice, Jake and Keisha illustrate the intricate intersections of identity and power, and the evolving nature of our relationship with these concepts. They discussed how curiosity, self-awareness and community play a crucial role in navigating this relationship and driving meaningful change. Their responses highlight the various aspects of change work — from addressing the nitty-gritty of daily practices to the bold task of dismantling structures that uphold harmful cultural norms. Collectively, we share the responsibility in influencing change as we hold varying roles in creating a more just and equitable world. Identity and power inform the roles we hold, which shift depending on the diverse contexts within which we exist. For each of these roles, how we interpret and wield our power is as much about the way we see ourselves as it is about the way we are externally perceived.
