A Message of Hope: Mindset Truly Impacts Outcomes
This story is adapted from Becoming Ovary Jones, by Melanie Holscher.
Where are you right now with your cancer diagnosis? Maybe you found this article shortly after you consulted with your doctor, and it doesn’t even seem real yet. Perhaps you’ve had some time to absorb the news, and you are figuring out a plan. It is a lot to take in. Hearing the “C” word was as disappointing to me as I’m sure it was for you. Whatever you are feeling right now is okay. It’s understandable. Go ahead and feel it. Give yourself permission to express your feelings. Close the door and have a good cry or scream some bad words. This isn’t a “suck it up, buttercup” moment. As a society, I think we sweep things under the rug way too much.
We expect people to leave their emotions at home as if that’s possible. We were created with emotions. In fact, emotions are a gift. I understand the emotions you are feeling now are neither pleasant nor fun, but you can’t ignore them. Recognize and acknowledge them. Try to identify and name them. Fear. Anger. Disgust. Confusion. Sadness. I found writing down exactly what I was feeling helped me accept my diagnosis. I also found I needed to do it more than once. It is a process. Sometimes I had friends that I could vent to, but often it was just me alone with an innocent sheet of paper when I poured out my heart.
Right now, there is a lot of uncertainty. The future looks blurry. When embarking on a journey, usually we map out our course and set out with confidence, knowing if we follow the plan, we will arrive safely at our destination. Once you and your doctors start to map out your cancer journey, you quickly realize the path has many twists and turns. It requires flexibility and problem solving. Even if you typically enjoy spontaneity, the seriousness of the situation is sobering. This isn’t an experience you signed up for. It was chosen for you.
The Waiting Game
One of the most frustrating and downright maddening things about fighting cancer is all of the waiting. Waiting in the waiting room. Waiting in various sci-fi devices (MRIs, CAT scans, Radiation tables). Waiting for test results. Waiting for side effects to subside. Waiting between treatments. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. I’m willing to bet the waiting is even challenging for the most patient among us, although I wouldn’t know because I’ve never been known for my patience.
Becoming Ovary Jones: How to Fight Cancer without Losing Your Mind will help. You are not alone. We’ve all been there. Many of us will be there again. I truly believe this journey will strengthen you. You can actually become a better version of yourself through your cancer adventure. It all comes down to one very important decision that you have to make. Are you going to give cancer all the power, or are you going to use cancer as a tool for your betterment?
Welcome to the club. Regardless of how you choose to respond to your diagnosis, we welcome you with open arms and accept you just as you are. You happen to have cancer. Perhaps you have friends and family members who have or had cancer, too. Maybe you personally don’t know anybody who has been in this ring. It won’t be long, and you will know a lot of brave cancer warriors. Everybody always asks me about this Ovary Jones club. Who is Ovary Jones anyway? That’s an interesting story actually.
Unfortunately, I didn’t realize I had cancer until it was pretty bad. I never asked about staging until recently, but I knew it was bad. They admitted me into the hospital immediately. It turned out I had a tumor the size of a grapefruit that was growing quickly in my abdomen. I had no idea it was there. Apparently, all of my organs mind their own business. You would think one of them would have sent a message to my brain alerting me to the fact there was a visitor in there. It turns out my organs are nonconfrontational, and this giant tumor was a bully that had started choking out my spinal column. That’s when I started to notice I had a problem.
My situation seemed awfully grim. I realized how cliché the expression “getting your affairs in order” is because, when it was time to do so, I suddenly had to figure out what exactly that meant. I was sad. I didn’t want to die, but things weren’t looking good. I felt completely out of control.
That’s when I started searching for Ovary Jones. She didn’t have a name initially, but, desperate for hope, I needed to figure out how other people blazoned the trails of their cancer journey. Initially, it started in my imagination, as I thought about my grandmother and others who fought before me. What did those brave warriors have in common? What was it like ten or twenty years ago? How has it changed?
Once I was out of the hospital, I started consuming a steady diet of survivor stories. Every day, I learned more about what we had in common, even if the stories I read and listened to were very different from my own. Eventually, in my mind, we were all part of a prestigious club of brave souls that I affectionately dubbed Ovary Jones because it had an edgy, rebellious ring to it. It became a source of power for me that I could tap into when I was discouraged. When I got bad news, I named the emotion I was feeling and then watched a video on miracles or listened to an inspirational podcast. I thought about other Ovary Jones survivors and realized most recoveries aren’t a steady incline toward wellness. They involve bumps and bruises along the way. There is value in progress over perfection. Progress means we don’t give up. Progress means we keep moving, and it might even mean we get mentally stronger even if, at times, we get physically weaker. Perfection is an illusion and often a stumbling block. Your journey won’t be perfect, but you can make progress.
My book is an invitation for you to join our ranks. I’ve recounted my journey for you, hoping you will find comfort when you need it. These pages are packed with power for you to tap into. Becoming Ovary Jones is not intended to be a passive read. There is a section called “Actionable Hope” at the end of each chapter. Action leads to hope. The more you do the “actionables” at the end of each chapter, the more hope you will have and the more mentally tough you will become. Hope is critical in the cancer journey. Give yourself the gift of hope. It takes a little effort, but I promise you, warrior, hope is everything.
Also, at the end of every chapter are “Life-Prolonging Takeaways” I learned throughout my journey. Every patient is unique, and our experiences with cancer are different. You will learn some lessons I didn’t, so I invite you to add to the list. What I’ve learned is that while our journeys are different, there are also a lot of similarities, too. That’s why tapping into your community and the Ovary Jones club is so powerful. We weren’t meant to travel this road alone. We are better together.
To learn more about developing your mental strength throughout your cancer battle, you can find Becoming Ovary Jones on Amazon.
Melanie Holscher continues to defy the odds and live fearlessly — she makes it her personal mission to help the society of warriors she affectionately calls “Ovary Jones.”
Today, she’s the founder of Together We Box, a monthly subscription box sent to cancer fighters throughout their journey. Packed with encouragement, love, and hope, Together We Box is creating a revolution in cancer treatment, strengthening the mindset of every fighter until we finally find a cure.
