Joy Is the Ultimate Goal
The following is adapted from Joy Always by Joya L. Ways.
Joy is not a feeling that arises in a moment, like when someone tells a joke and we laugh, but is rather a state of awareness, openness, and being. It is not something we receive from others, but something within us that we share with others. We cannot verbalize joy — we must live it. If we have never experienced it, we cannot share it.
It is our own choice whether we want to be joyful or miserable. Hence, we need to ask ourselves whether our choices are made consciously or unconsciously. Once we become aware of how our choices are made, and once we realize that we are the creators of our feelings of misery (and nobody else), we will immediately want to stop it.
Our choices create our own reality and, every day, we take a lot of choices. They add up and continue to form our life. Therefore, we will need to ask ourselves what a joyful life looks like and then make our choices accordingly. We are in charge of this process and a shift in our attitude will help us adjust our compass.
In the evening before bedtime, we should recall the moments of happiness we have experienced today. How many were there? More or fewer than the previous day? We should take stock of whether the account is in the black (positive) or in the red (negative).
Everything we do (work, leisure, etc.) is aimed at experiencing joy. In life, experiencing joy should not be the ultimate goal, but a basis — such as the root of a tree or the foundation of a house. If the latter is not built solidly enough, we will spend our whole lives keeping the upper floors together. If we don’t feel joy, we always fear that something bad might happen. This is stressful and dissatisfying. We have the feeling that when we get this job or this person, our life will be accomplished. But it never feels accomplished, because the next “if I just” is waiting around the corner. We accumulate — instead of being ourselves and feeling comfortable with it.
We live on our own surface. If something we don’t like or that upsets us happens, we react and get derailed.
We all identify ourselves with accumulation of things and/or money. We reduce ourselves to these materials. Our ego wants to accumulate and possess — otherwise we do not feel good. Accumulating is not bad but, if we identify with it, then it is not good. We give up our existence and only experience brief moments of joy when we focus on accumulating more and more. Why? Because the basis of our existence cannot be reduced to things — it is not limited.
If we were to reside more deeply in ourselves, no superficiality or detail could bother us.
The world is as it is, but we judge it with our perception and with our experience.
When we feel joy, it doesn’t matter whether we get something we want or not. We are free of actions that are supposed to bring joy — we are already happy as joy is a state of being.
Joy always comes from within, even when it is triggered from the outside. If we feel good on a day, all we need is an outside stimulus to break out in laughter. If we are not aligned, then all we need is an apology to break into a bad mood or tears.
Why do we actually look for joy? Did someone ask us about it or order this search? No, the life in us is looking for it. This is the simple human expression of existence.
We usually blame other people or situations for our dissatisfaction. But, why then, do we bring our body, mind, and soul to it? Why feel resentful, be angry, upset, or disappointed? One could say that all those who feel dissatisfied are not very long-sighted. This is because they do not recognize their power lies in their own hands — that is, the choice of how they want to feel and whether/how they could go about changing something.
It’s not others — it is how we choose to act, react, and feel about it.
While we sometimes think that everything must be perfect to experience joy, this is not the case. Joy may permeate everything around us and everything that we do. We just must open our eyes to the wondrous world and people around us.
If we need experiences to trigger joy, then we are slaves to external factors and joy is just a visitor. Why do some people drink a lot? Why are some sex addicts? Why do they need adrenaline sports to feel alive? Many want to feel more than the “normal” life and these activities titillate the senses and trigger the release of endorphins.
Pain and alienation are a couple of our deepest experiences. We all seek depth — some famous artists seek it by drinking or experiencing pain because it seems easier to lend depth to life this way than through joy.
Generally, people look for depth if they’re not well (they may question the meaning of life and reasons for their current situation). Instead, we should look into the depths when we experience joy, trying to discover what got us to this state of mind and what could get us there more often — all while enjoying the feeling while it lasts.
Who do we call intelligent? People who acquire a lot of knowledge? People who achieve what they want? But aren’t the people who are joyful really the intelligent ones? Perhaps, the truly intelligent people are those with as few thoughts as possible and in full awareness. Too much thinking removes us from the present. If we distance ourselves, from ourselves, to find happiness outside, how can we find joy? Joy lies in the present and within us.
Madness means that we are not masters of our thoughts. Only a madman or maniac invents or feels something he does not want — dissatisfaction. Just because we might perceive that most people are dissatisfied, does not mean that they are right and that we need to mimic them
Who are we, anyway? A body that eats and moves? A mind that reflects what we read and hear? Where, between the body and the mind, which consists of collected impressions, are we? As long as we do not feel and act like ourselves, we cannot develop joy.
The reason why we do not experience joy permanently is because we hold it at the wrong end. We cannot expect it to be there when the discontent ends. We need to understand how to plant joy and see it grow.
We do not bring anything with us when we come into the world. There is only an upside, no matter what happens. Most of us will not have to sleep under a bridge but we always want more or something different. We want what we don’t have and not what we have — we’re never happy.
The only reason we’re not happy is because we have a strange idea of life — life should go this way or that way. Imagine that everything goes the way everyone individually wants it to go. What chaos! Life only works if we all have and accept our own world — and live with and within it.
If we make our joy dependent on external influences or activities, we must acknowledge that the outside world is never 100 percent aligned with our wishes and we will never have 100 percent control of events and others. There are only two paths: joyfulness and unhappiness. If we return to our original status, there is only joy. This is not to be aspired to — it is the original condition.
You can get more treasures of pocket wisdom in Joy Always on Amazon.
JOYA L. WAYS has long been fascinated by the ways in which our lives unfold. She has interviewed hundreds of wise people from every background throughout the world and has spent thousands of hours reflecting on their insights and her experiences. The collection of wisdom within this book that came from these interviews and reflections has dramatically increased the energy and joy in her life, and it will do the same for you.
