The Practical Path to Living Your Purpose and Potential

The following is an edited excerpt from the book The Method: The Practical Path to Living Your Purpose and Potential by Dr. Tracy Thomas.

There are as many different stories of suffering as there are people in the world. Nevertheless, their stories all converge in one simple, desperate question:

Why?

It’s a question that comes in many variations:

• Why does this always happen to me?
• Why do I keep doing this to myself?
• Why am I always/never in this situation?
• Why doesn’t that ever work out for me?
• Why don’t things ever seem to go my way?
• Why can’t I get what I want?
• Why is life so stressful?
• Why do I struggle so much?
• Why do I keep sabotaging myself?
• Why can’t I achieve the success I want?

Some people would say that there is no answer to the “why” question — that life is just hard work, and that bad things happen to good people for no discernible reason.

I’m here to tell you that those people are dead wrong.

There Is An Answer

Every effect has a cause. If you can get deep enough into the truth about suffering, you can always see how it makes sense within the situation’s context. This is true even of global issues like natural disasters and economic depressions, as well as political and cultural feuds that go on for hundreds of years. All of these systemic problems have a root cause that can be found if you have the ability and patience to do the necessary detective work.

But we’re not here to talk about those problems. We’re here to talk about YOU.

Why do YOU suffer?

If you’re like a lot of my patients, you may have read that question and thought, “Wow, where do I begin?”

Let me help by listing a few possible reasons you might be suffering right now:

• You’re constantly experiencing some level of stress.
• You’re unable to have the kind of relationships you really want.
• Your health is getting worse and worse, despite your best efforts.
• Your family is divided and pulling you in different directions.
• Your child is caught in a harmful spiral.
• You’re grinding away at a job where you never feel successful.
• You’re locked in an emotional pattern that, no matter how clearly you see the harm it’s causing, you just can’t seem to quit.
• Despite managing your job, relationships, and health with success, you can’t seem to muster up any joy in your life.

Okay… But Why?

From time to time, we all find ourselves experiencing the opposite outcomes from what we want. But why are you haunted by the same situations being repeated over and over again?

After all, you’re a smart person. This isn’t the first book you’ve read about how to fix your issues and live your best life. So why are those issues still controlling you? Why haven’t you been able to be the best person you can be?

I’ll tell you why: it’s because you don’t even know who that person is.

Living In Integrity

Most people grow up completely ignoring themselves without even realizing it. They form a concept of Self based on all kinds of false expectations, without ever making a conscious connection to the true Self they were born to become. Over time, this true Self keeps trying to make itself known. But because conventional “maturity” usually consists of learning new and clever ways to mask or ignore the true Self, we continue to stifle it, pacify it, and drown it out.

Is it any wonder that so many people go through life feeling lost? Instead of living their true lives, people are living false narratives. Or, as I call it, “living out of integrity.” The result is stress, pain, suffering, confusion, and chaos. Every joy is watered down, every epiphany is muted, and every triumph loses its shine, because it has little or no connection with its authentic purpose and potential. When a person lives out of integrity with their true Self, the best they can hope for is survival.

What’s more, every therapeutic approach fails miserably because — get this — it’s being applied to a Self that isn’t you.

I realized this truth after years of helping people as a friend and colleague, but years before I became a clinical psychologist. I loved helping people, and I took it upon myself to delve deeply into every avenue — from science to spirituality to nutrition — to give people the resources they needed to transform their lives.

From the beginning, I could see that all patterns of suffering were related to this same issue of being out of integrity with the true Self. This was underscored by certain people I’d encounter who were so profoundly disconnected from themselves that no matter how successfully they managed life, they could not feel fulfilled or happy. For these people, no insight or technique I could offer would help, because the person was applying them to a mistaken identity; it would have been like taking someone else’s medication and expecting their own illness to be healed.

That’s when I realized it was time for a whole new approach to my work. I couldn’t truly help people until I revealed what I’d discovered long ago: all our maladies, neuroses, and Self-destructive patterns are connected at the core. Once I could see how a single core issue exacerbates all the others, I could simplify the approach to fixing them and kill about a thousand birds (or more!) with one stone.

This is the approach that I now call The Method.

Meet The Method

The Method is a way of being true — in thought, speech, and action — to the deepest essence of who you are. It helps you connect to the Self you would be if you were not afraid and habituated to believe that actually being your Self would somehow ruin your life. Far from being something dangerous, your true Self is your North Star. It has all the information necessary to guide you on the path to your purpose and potential.

Applying The Method uncovers your Self a little at a time. The more your Self is revealed, the easier it becomes to apply The Method. Even after using The Method for twenty years, I’m still amazed at how quickly my patients move forward on the path of their purpose and potential once they create this feedback loop.

If you’ve been to a lot of therapists over the years, I know this approach may sound too practical to you — maybe even ridiculously simple. But why shouldn’t it be simple? Could it be that the only reason your life seems so hard, and so complicated, is because you expect it to be that way?

I live and work in a community of very effective, educated, and skilled therapists who work in every modality you can imagine. I regard most of them with boundless respect. But, if I’m honest, I can’t believe that more of them haven’t grasped the crucial truth that lies at the heart of our healing-obsessed culture: that health, fulfillment, and happiness come naturally when you allow life to be practical.

A lot of my colleagues look at me with one eyebrow raised when I say that my office is practically a revolving door. I don’t keep patients for very long for the simple reason that, once they learn to cultivate a relationship with their true Self, they don’t need help from me anymore.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

That’s why I wanted to write this book: to get this truth into more people’s hands. Plus — I’ll admit it — there’s a bit of a selfish motive, too. After years of working with patients — people suffering from borderline personality and bipolar disorders, addiction, and eating disorders, along with plenty of your average Self-saboteurs — I have realized that my true Self is most fulfilled when I can introduce The Method to people who are desperate to discover the practical path to living their purpose and potential. The Method is so important because everyone has a deep desire to bring their gifts, talents, and innovative ideas to the world. My mission is to give America back its greatest asset: people who are living their purpose and potential. It kills me every time I have to turn away a patient because of my overbooked schedule, or cut a conversation short after a speaking gig, because I need to catch a plane. Putting The Method into this book is the next step forward on my own practical path.

So, for my sake as well as yours, I’m overjoyed that this book found its way into your hands.

Fair Warning

Having said that, I have to warn you of a few things:

1. There is no bullshit in this book.

I get the need for empathy, understanding, and gentleness. But let’s be honest — you’ve cried on enough therapists’ couches. It’s time to stop dwelling on the pain and start moving forward!

I’m writing this book the same way I conduct sessions in my office. We only spend enough time on your pain points to identify the starting place on your practical path. I know you may still feel fragile or vulnerable at this point, but I promise that your true Self is ready for this shift. You’ll be so excited by the results that you won’t miss the old “velvet glove” approach.

2. There are some new concepts you’ll have to get used to.

The Method is based on living in integrity with your true Self. Learning to do this means accepting that the person you think you are is not the person you’re truly meant to be. Prepare yourself for a good amount of forehead slapping and frequent rushes of blood to the brain. You’re about to discover a whole new person living inside you. (Don’t worry — I think you’re going to really, really like that person.)

3. Things are going to change.

You’re going to be amazed at how easy The Method makes it to shift your life in the direction of your purpose and potential. For some people, it’s a little bit too easy. The transition freaks them out. Most of us are so used to health and happiness being a slow, difficult process that the ease and practicality of The Method can take some by surprise. Try not to be scared off by the whoosh! effect of putting The Method into practice. Again, once you experience the results of using The Method, these sudden shifts are exciting, enjoyable, and even a little bit addictive.

To ease you into this book, I’ll start with walking you through the basics of The Method, showing you how it works and explaining the scientific and spiritual tenets that support it.

Next, I’ll give you a deeper glimpse into how The Method was developed by walking you through the very first case study of how it worked…on me!

Then the rubber will hit the road — we’ll take a deep dive into The Method together. I’ll walk you through how to use The Method to create your practical path, day by day and moment by moment, at every level of your life.

Your Time Has Finally Arrived

They tell us life isn’t easy.

They say that for some people, lasting transformation just isn’t possible.

But maybe that’s what they want us to think.

Maybe those people who are telling you how difficult it is to change are afraid of what you will become. Maybe they’re afraid that if you connected to your purpose and potential, you’d allow them less control over your life. Maybe they’re afraid if you break out of familiar patterns and refuse to live under the labels they’ve given you, it would disrupt their lives and make them really deal with truths of their own.

Let’s give them a surprise, shall we? By working through The Method together, we’ll show the world how amazing life can be when we live in integrity.

Pain and suffering have taken up enough of your time. Starting today, you get to officially dismiss them from the place they’ve occupied in your life. It’s time for you to step onto your practical path — it’s been waiting for you all along.

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To keep reading, pick up your copy of The Method: The Practical Path to Living Your Purpose and Potential by Dr. Tracy Thomas.