Together, Through Our Stories, We Can Begin to Heal, Open the World’s Eyes, and Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse.

This story is adapted from Breaking the Cycle of Silence, by Daniel Pearse.

I’m not sure why it took so long.

For a week straight in September of 2010 at the age of forty-five, I woke up every night an hour earlier than usual feeling angry and just plain pissed off. I didn’t have to do much soul-searching to figure out why, but the real question was, why now? I had kept the reason hidden, repressed for years, until 2010, when it began haunting me.

I was sexually abused as a child.

Why did it happen to me? Why didn’t someone do something about it? Why was I adopted by abusive parents? How? Who approved it? Weren’t there any family members willing to adopt me? Why did my mother die? What did she die from? Why wasn’t my father around? Did he even care? What happened to my brothers, John and Michael? Were other children abused? How many? Why did the abuse happen? Why wasn’t it stopped? Why didn’t anyone stand up to it?

Finding answers was the start of my journey. This book is a leg of that journey. I’m not writing to wallow in self-pity or to be pitied by others. I’m writing to let you know what kind of childhood I endured, because too many children have needlessly suffered as I have, are suffering right now, and will keep suffering in the future if we do nothing.

And we can do something. We can learn the signs, learn what to do, and adopt legislation like Daniel’s Law. Daniel’s Law proposes age-appropriate sexual abuse training and education in all public and, if possible, private schools. With such training and education, we can identify, intervene, and stop abusers, preventing them from claiming victim after victim for years. We know abusers won’t just stop on their own. My abuser, for instance, sexually exploited generations of children before death finally put an end to it.

Only a handful of people know about my troubled childhood, and I’ve only revealed it to them recently. By revealing my story to more people, I hope to also reach those still involved in abusive situations and give them strength. If that’s you or someone close to you, I want to let you know there are good people in this world who care and can help. You have options; don’t be afraid of change. Change can be a good thing. You should tell someone, hopefully a trustworthy person who knows where to find the best type of help. Staying in an abusive situation will affect your whole life, so — although it’s difficult — get out as soon as possible. People will believe you. You will be heard. You do have rights (even as a child), and you deserve better.

You do not have to put up with the evil you have endured — not as a child, not as an adult, not at any age. I justified the abuse to myself by saying, “Someone always has it worse.” Sometimes, I had to tell myself that several times a day. The phrase kept me strong, but it also kept me enslaved to the pain and torture.

I don’t want that for you, so I’m sharing my story, though changing some names throughout to protect those who may not want their story told. I want you to know you’re not alone in this struggle, and you don’t have to hide alone with the pain and guilt. I want you to know that you’re a survivor, you have options available to you, and there are good people in this world who care and want to help. The pain you have suffered may affect your whole life, so it’s important to tell someone your secret, someone you trust.

If you have not been abused but suspect you know someone who was (or is), please be the trustworthy person who gets them help.

All we need to do is take one small step at a time. Together, through our stories, we can begin to heal, open the world’s eyes, and help prevent child sexual abuse.

To learn more about preventing child sexual abuse, you can find Breaking the Cycle of Silence on Amazon.

Daniel Pearse a sexual abuse survivor. The abuse he suffered for nine years in a foster home run by a pedophile affected his life for decades afterward. Daniel buried the abuse in the far corners of his mind, only to have it surface at age forty-five, at which point he became aware of its effect on his life. Since then, Daniel’s mission has been ending child sexual abuse. He continues to petition Canadian lawmakers to adopt Daniel’s Law and hopes that one day, child sexual abuse prevention education will transcend beyond schools to reach parents, teachers, child service organizations, and any adults working or volunteering around children.