Want to Practice Gratitude? Try Zooming Out.
The following is adapted from Holy Sh!t We’re Alive by Doug Cartwright.
NASA recently announced there are elements in the clouds of Venus that could someday sustain life. People got so excited about that, but stop for a minute and look around. You can literally put a seed in the soil here, it eats sunlight for energy, and then water falls from the sky to give it fuel, and it somehow knows how to grow into a strawberry field with the nutrients to sustain life.
WHAT?!? Where’s the excitement for an incredible feat like that?
Or: imagine we discovered one of the other two hundred quintillion planets had humans just like us living there. Everything was the same: they looked like us, spoke similar languages, drove cars, and had jobs — but for whatever reason, they had no animals. If they got on a spaceship, came to Earth, and saw a pet dog, they would be blown away. They’d claim we live with furry aliens.
Or just think about what might happen if we could only see stars one night a year. What kind of curiosity and awe would that spark? What a spectacle that would be — a worldwide celebration! But because we’re so used to seeing stars every night, we overlook the constant beauty and the wonder they bring to our world.
The fact is, we live on a planet with stunning mountains, oceans, art, music, food, and connections — not just evidence of a gas that might mean life might be possible on it someday — but we’re so accustomed to it all that we stop seeing the magic right in front of us. We should be celebrating the fact that we’re alive every day. Except most of us don’t.
Instead, we’re in pain because the external world isn’t showing up how we want it to. We’re stuck on an idea of how life should be and think the world has to look a certain way. And when it inevitably doesn’t bend to match our plans and desires, we’re unhappy.
But think of it this way: there are 7.7 billion other people on the planet who also have a personal preference for how the world should be. Every person’s preferences are based on experiences and ideas they were taught in childhood, at school, through friends or cultural norms, and whatever and whoever else has shaped their views on life. So, expecting this grand, cosmic piece of art — something so complex it’s almost beyond comprehension — to show up in a specific way for every one of us doesn’t make much sense, does it?
The universe knows nothing of your preferences or those of the other 7.7 billion people out there. It’s just a natural cosmos, doing what it does. There’s nothing personal about it. You are a participant in a grand arena that is the result of natural cause and effect.
The ancient Chinese philosopher and founder of Taoism Lao Tzu once noted, “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” The earth is four and a half billion years old, and without any human involvement, we have an atmosphere that blocks deadly solar rays. We have rain that grows plants. We have food that sprouts from the dirt. We have animals. We have beaches. The universe clearly knows what it’s doing, and to think that our human brains know better how to manage what happens here is simply laughable.
Life is just a collection of moments. When we cling to a moment — thinking everything needs to stay exactly like this for us to be happy — we feel let down when it naturally doesn’t linger. And when we resist moments, we push the natural flow of life away and don’t give ourselves the opportunity to watch the universe do its thing.
We just need to surrender to the flow of life. I don’t mean surrender as in giving up. Life is asking us to engage with it, so we can’t just sit around doing nothing. We need to trust that life is always trying to teach us and give us direction, so we can maximize our human experience and put our true talents on display. Participate in life!
Most suffering happens because we’re stuck on an idea of how life is “supposed” to be. Let it go. We’re not the center of the universe, despite our futile attempts otherwise. Stop resisting what is, go with the flow, and watch life unfold for you.
The truth is, we’re only visiting this planet. Life happened before we got here, and it’s going to continue on after we’re gone. Ninety-three percent of all humans who ever lived are dead. Congrats on being part of the 7 percent of people who are living now, against all odds.
Whenever you’re looking for perspective, just zoom out. Consider the 13.8 billion-year path the universe had to take for us to even be here. Think about everything that needed to happen for you to get here — Great-Great-Great Grandpa had to meet Great-Great-Great Grandma, and so on.
Clearly, being human is the ultimate gift, and it’s time to start living that way.
For more advice on participating fully in this unlikely world, you can find Holy Sh!t We’re Alive on Amazon.
Doug Cartwright is a speaker, author, and the CEO and Founder of The Daily Shifts, an online company dedicated to inspiring lasting transformation of the mind, body, and soul. The Daily Shifts was born from Doug’s personal journey of introspection and healing. Now an app, a master class, and blog, The Daily Shifts has appeared on ABC News, Spectrum TV, and in Psychology Today, among others. Visit Doug’s Instagram page, doug_cartwright, with questions or comments.
