What Is a First Generation Father?
This story is adapted from First Generation Father, by Anthony Blankenship.
A first generation father is any man who grew up without a positive example of what a father should be — and is now trying to figure it out for himself. It’s any man working to break the cycle of dysfunction he came from, and provide better for his own family. That said, being a first generation father isn’t just about raising children. It’s also about identifying toxic relationship patterns you’ve come to see as normal and replacing them with healthy ones. It’s about doing the deeply personal work of healing, growing, and balancing.
This is difficult to do. It’s hard to build the type of love where both people feel fulfilled and content. It’s hard to create an environment where children are safe from physical and emotional trauma, and are raised to see the world as a loving place. It’s hard to find financial stability and a healthy balance of abundance and appreciation. Homes where these things are the norm are hard to build, and they’re even harder to maintain. If you come from dysfunction, drama, and scars — homes like this may seem to only exist in fairy tales.
What defines a broken home? For our purposes, there is no singular definition. Maybe your parents went through a tough divorce. Maybe they were never married, like mine. Maybe one of them had addiction issues, or anger issues, or infidelity issues. Maybe one of them was abusive or neglectful. Maybe there was no real “trauma” in your home, but your emotional needs weren’t met. Maybe your parents stayed together in a loveless, resentful marriage. There are so many ways homes can be broken. No matter what your situation was, if you want to do better for your family, my book will help you.
My Qualifications
You may be wondering what my qualifications are to talk about these things. Well, I’m a first generation father myself. I was born to a teenaged high school dropout. She was a single parent, and we had no place to live. Things started off tough, and got worse before they got better. Much worse. I was exposed to violence, poverty, drug abuse, manipulative relationships, and more. This was my normal. And the dysfunction left plenty of scars.
My own father has seven children with five different women. Meaning I have siblings from four different mothers. Like I said, there are lots of ways for families to be broken. Eventually, my father did ten years in prison. This made one thing clear to me: if I was gonna break the cycle and become more than just a product of my environment, I was gonna have to figure out how to do it on my own. And I did.
Today, I’m a happily married father of two. I’ve been with my beautiful and talented wife, Sarah, for more than twenty years now. In that time, I’ve had to do a lot of growing, learning, and evolving. In my book, I’ll give you the most valuable lessons I’ve learned on my journey. I’ll give you the exact tools and understanding that I used to build and maintain my healthy and happy home. And I’ll present them in a way that’s easy to understand and allows you to apply them to your own life.
Others Are Welcome
I welcome all readers. In fact, I wrote my book hoping the truths in it would resonate with a broad base. Although the language I use may sound specific to fathers, the principles and teachings are applicable to everyone. The benefits of recognizing and healing old wounds, mastering our three primal energies, and ascending to the highest versions of ourselves are universal. They are just as applicable for women as they are for men. There are plenty of first generation mothers out there trying to break negative family cycles too.
If you’re a stepfather, or you’re in a serious relationship with a woman who has a child, please read my book. What’s in it will help you better understand yourself, and better understand how to lead — be of service to — your family. This is the last time I’ll make a distinction between stepfather and biological father. If you’re the adult male in a child’s life, take these teachings and apply them.
If you’re a woman who’s in love with a first generation father, I encourage you to read my book too. It’ll give you some insight into the challenges he faces. Together, the two of you can help each other heal, find your balance, and move to new depths of genuine love in your relationship.
Same goes for my LGBTQ friends. Many of you have suffered painful traumas in your life that may still be hurting you and negatively affecting your relationships today. I believe the lessons in my book will help you on your journey to healing and self-actualization. The techniques I share of dealing with past pain to ensure you don’t subconsciously pass it on to your own children are critical. Welcome.
What My Book Is
First Generation Father is a treasure map. Follow it, and you’ll successfully navigate the traps of confusion and frustration that have cost so many well-meaning people their families. It’ll lead you directly into the golden zone of a healthy and happy relationship based on mutual love and respect for each other. And it’ll help you find the balance you need in order to provide physically, mentally, and emotionally for your loved ones. My book will be funny sometimes. It’ll be serious sometimes. And it’ll be honest all the time.
I don’t claim to know it all. In a lot of ways, I’m still growing as a husband and as a father. But if you read my book with an open heart and an open mind, you’ll put it down a better person than you were when you picked it up.
While we’re on the topic, here are a few things my book is not. It’s not political. These days, it seems as if everything is politicized. But broken homes and damaged families affect people of all political affiliations. The messages and techniques in my book are valid and applicable for you despite your social, political, or religious beliefs.
My book is also not racially exclusive. First generation fathers exist in every race and ethnicity. The principles don’t change. We are all brothers of a shared experience. Soldiers with the same mission: to overcome our pasts, and ourselves, so that we can do what’s best for our families.
Lastly, my book is not a tell-all. I am not here to air out anyone in my life’s dirty laundry. In fact, some of the most salacious parts of my early life story, parts that left profound and lasting scars, have been intentionally left out. I do share quite a bit of my personal history on the forthcoming pages. But only to give my journey of becoming a first generation father the proper context. My book will ask you to evaluate some painful experiences from your past. And I couldn’t ask you to look at your own pain without being willing to show you some of mine.
Let’s Do It
I hope you enjoy First Generation Father. It took the first forty-three years of my life to learn these lessons and organize them for you. It’s been a long haul. But if my book helps you accomplish your mission — and establish a healthy and happy home for your family — it will have been worth it. I respect the hell out of what you’re trying to do, and I’m proud to be a part of it. Remember, leading your family means serving your family. In order to serve your family, you need to be healthy and balanced yourself. So we’ll start there. This won’t be easy. But accomplishing great things never is. I believe in you. You got this. Let’s do it.
To learn more about being a first generation father, you can find First Generation Father on Amazon.
Anthony Blankenship was born to an unwed, teenage mother and a father who would later serve time in prison. His home life exposed him to violence, drugs, and poverty at a young age. At fifteen, struggling with unhealed mental and emotional wounds, Anthony committed a crime that nearly cost him his life.
He used this low point to slingshot himself forward, focusing on growth, accountability, and evolution. Anthony searched for ways to educate himself and break free from the cyclical pull of his early environment. Today, the former army officer has found his golden zone. A happily married father of two, he has developed a philosophy that allowed him to heal and lead his family into health, happiness, and prosperity. Now, he’s ready to share this philosophy with the world.
