The following is adapted from Worthy Human: Because You Are the Problem… and the Solution.
Your programming — the beliefs, experiences, memories, and invisible rules buried in your subconscious mind — comes not only from the meanings you’ve assigned to the things that you’ve experienced in your life, but also what’s been input into you.
I’m talking about what you have been told and how you were raised. The words and actions from your parents, siblings, teachers, guardians, religious leaders, extended family, friends, and coaches had a huge impact on your subconscious mind.
I call it the Drip Process. It’s when someone drips their shit on you.
It’s inevitable and generational. Your great grandma dripped shit on your grandma, your grandma dripped shit on your mom, and your mom dripped shit on you.
It’s now up to you to decide if you’re going to carry on the cycle.
Beliefs from Past Generations Don’t Always Apply
The Drip Process installs things in our subconscious mind that are both empowering and disempowering and is something that we must become acutely aware of.
It’s important to appreciate that the generations that have come before us lived in different times, with different challenges, values, and expectations.
For many of our grandparents and great grandparents, stress and pressure were a non-negotiable way of life. Men were raised to be stoic; they were taught that showing emotion is weakness. They were told that the harder they worked, the more productive they would be, and therefore the more valuable. Women were raised to be obedient and subservient. They were told to be humble and not burden others with their problems.
Universally, we are influenced to think that our worthiness and happiness are based on what we have, what we do, what we buy, the house we live in, how hard we work, etc.
The list goes on, and it is HOLY BULLSHIT.
How Your Beliefs Influence Your Behaviors
- If you had the kind of mom who overreacted every time you fell down, can you see why you overreact or dramatize when trouble arises?
- If you were only praised when you were the best and criticized when you had a misstep, can you see where your perfectionism comes from?
- If you have memories of your parents telling you that “money doesn’t grow on trees,” can you see where your money struggles originated?
- If your household fought a lot and you experienced tension and shame, can you see why attaining a state of peace and calm is challenging for you, but treating yourself like shit and attracting relationships that do the same is familiar?
- If you were brought up in a stoic family with the motto “Suck it up, buttercup,” can you see why you might struggle to be vulnerable and emotionally free?
The beliefs you hold have been infused into you. The question becomes which beliefs are helpful and which beliefs are limiting you? Let’s work on figuring that out.
Look Back at Your Childhood
It’s time for some self-discovery. Time to capture all the stuff that’s come up in you since you started reading. So, think about your upbringing, your childhood.
- What happened to you?
- How were you raised?
- What is blocking you from being who you want to be?
- What prescription might be in the lenses of your glasses?
- What inspired you to pick up this book?
Write down everything that comes up as a result of what we’ve talked about so far and these questions. When you reflect on what you wrote, you’ll find some of your beliefs that have been holding you back interwoven throughout your words.
Here’s the thing: You have received input from other people’s beliefs and ideals that you, the true, consciously-creating-adult you, might totally disagree with. Just because your mom believes something or a religious leader tells you something is true, that doesn’t mean it aligns with your personal truth.
You get to choose. This is YOUR life. Yours. Not theirs. Yours.
Nothing is Permanent
This is your personal life experience. You don’t have to believe anything that you don’t want to believe. You don’t have to abide by any invisible rules that don’t align with your true, unapologetic, worthy self. There is nothing about who you are, your actions, your beliefs, your thoughts, your feelings, your behavior, or your habits that are permanent.
Let me say that again and louder: THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT WHO YOU ARE, YOUR ACTIONS, YOUR BELIEFS, YOUR THOUGHTS, YOUR FEELINGS, YOUR BEHAVIOR, OR YOUR HABITS THAT ARE PERMANENT.
You can become aware of, and then shift and change anything. Yes, even those things you say that are immediately followed up with “That’s just the way I am.” It’s not just the way you are unless you want it to be. Yes, really.
You are a limitless, worthy human, and YOU GET TO CHOOSE. Everything.
Who you have been up until this moment is zero indication of who you can be. The way you’ve experienced life can be instantly shifted through the choices available to you.
As we wrap up, let’s recite the Worthy Human Mantra:
I am worthy. I am enough. I am powerful. I get to choose.
Damn right you are.
For more advice on dealing with your programming, you can find Worthy Human on Amazon.
Tracy Litt is a Certified Mindset Coach, Rapid Transformational Therapist, speaker, and author. As Founder of The Litt Factor and Worthy Human, her passion for personal growth shines through in the transformation of her clients and the empowerment of her merchandise line. Tracy has helped countless individuals transform their lives from the inside out. She’s direct, and goes straight to the heart of what’s real and what’s true. She masterfully tells it like it is, while being skillfully empathetic, loving and supportive. A powerhouse and ball of energy, exuding unconditional love and light. Tracy lives in Lake Worth, Florida, with her husband, David, three teenage daughters — Taylor, Maddy, and Zoe — and their dog, Sunny. Learn more about her work at TheLittFactor.com.