Change is Hard
There have been a lot of new things happening in my life in the past few weeks. And while all these new things are good things, it’s still scary.
Especially since three of my major supports are on hiatus right now, so when I start to get anxious about these new things, or when I start to worry that I’ll fall back into one of my negative behavior patterns, I don’t have access to these regulating activities.
My fifteen-minute morning meditation group doesn’t start up again until fall. This structure is very important for me because it is the framework within which I do my version of morning pages — writing out whatever I’m trying to focus on that day and what feelings and thoughts are getting in the way. When I don’t have the structure of the morning meditation group, it often takes me an extra three to five hours before I get around to this five-minute stream-of-consciousness writing and then I have less than half the day to actually do whatever it is that I need to do that day.
My other two supports, reading and watching tv or movies, are on hiatus because I’ve read and watched all the books that are available to me in the genres that I’m wanting to read or watch. So now I have to wait until I feel like a different set of genres or I have to rewatch and re-read everything, which is annoying. I mean, I don’t mind re-reading and rewatching things, but I like to have a…
