Books favorites from Stephanie Hurlburt
Inspiration comes from the strangest of places. I’ve been often inspired by people sharing wisdom in snippets over social media, and Stephanie Hurlburt has been a great inspiration. I’ve asked her some questions on behalf of https://thebooksbywomen.com/ for books her favorites: that inspired her and gave her strength.
Can you do a walkthrough of your background?
Right now I run a small technology company called Binomial, focused on selling image and video compression.
I started college pretty aimless and stressed — studying mathematics, politics, philosophy, but leaning toward math, and not focusing much on life outside that. I dropped out of school after three years of immense stress and feeling like I was just burning money and not having a future I could look forward to. After working retail jobs for close to minimum wage for a while, I decided to go back to finish the degree in computer science because it seemed a path to at least making more money faster. That led to several years of making more money in technology roles but continuing to work constantly, while my personal life became even more of a trash fire. Finally I hit a wall where even work was no solace — I could not bring myself to code anymore, which was the only way I knew to make a decent living. Pretty certain I’d get fired from full time jobs because of this, I thought tech consulting could be a path forward — I could maybe do some bursts of consulting balanced with rest. A friend joined me, consulting became more successful, and then we launched a product. It wasn’t free of stress, but I had time back, time that allowed me to see and escape the abusive relationship I was in, time that allowed me to heal and reflect, time that allowed me to think about how I wanted to live life and not just live a life of constant distraction and blindly working and hoping for a magical happy future that never seemed to get closer.
Do you remember what was the first book that made an impression on you?
I don’t remember the first, no! But I do remember some early memories of being very affected by books, mostly in my teenage years. I remember getting completely absorbed in fantasy books. I remember pouring over old legal and psychology texts in the library and being affected by how law and science have been riddled with human bias. I remember reading various philosophy books in search of some kind of meaning, and being affected at points, but never really finding one I could latch onto and strongly relate to.
What are some books that you wish were more widely known?
Three books that have really affected my mental health for the better these past couple years:
The best book on trauma I know, hands down. What makes it so brilliant is a combination of impressively vast knowledge with trusting the patient, who does not have that vast theoretical knowledge but has the valuable knowledge of first-hand experience theory can never touch. It also gives you a clear view into the history of psychology in the past hundred years, and empowers the reader to understand psychology is still changing and all these categories and medications and diagnoses are just grasps at some structure, still not hitting the full truth. It also suggests many clinically proven treatments.
An excellent book on how to set boundaries in relationships of any kind — with family, friends, children, romantic partners, work, and even yourself. It is a book I didn’t even know I needed until I read it and it has completely changed my life — I’m a much less angry person, I’m a much more confident person. Beware that it is pretty religious in undertone and examples, and some people don’t like that, but I suggest it nonetheless because the psychology behind it is golden.
This one also changed my life. I have been through domestic violence, and one of the things that kept me in it was not understanding how someone who seemed so nice could do something like that, surely it had to stop or was just a weird blip, but it never did. This helped me understand why some people are abusive in crystal clear detail, helped give me the confidence to recognize warning signs in others, and took a lot of weight off my shoulders. It gave me words for things I had no words for.
What are your personal favorite books?
For me, that answer changes over time, depending what is affecting me most and who I am at that point. Right now it is the Harry Potter series. For many years I could not read a book because of PTSD symptoms — I could not feel safe focusing on anything for too long. I tried and tried to no luck. Harry Potter was the first book I could read again. It was simple yet deeply engaging and a lengthy escape into another world. It’s very healing.
What would you like everyone to know and take away from a book you love?
I think I’d like people to take a little away from all the books I’ve mentioned so far. The healing psychology lessons, but life is about a lot more than healing and survival. It’s also about finding things to fill the space healing has created, fantasy and joy and stories we like living in.
What are you reading now and what is on your list for the future?
Harry Potter! After this I’m going to search for more books that introduce me to worlds that bring me joy. Maybe after I’ve fully enjoyed those I can move onto others with darker stories and lessons, but not before.
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This is a personal initiative meant to highlight books written by women in the business and tech space. If you want to support me keep this project going , you can donate a ☕ or 🍜 to me via Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/kalinaz
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