And I Never Saved A Penny
Did anyone ever tell you that you’d save money if you quit smoking? This isn’t that story.
The old riddle goes: What do Babe Ruth, Sgt. Joe Friday, and Quaaludes have in common?
The answer: Babe Ruth home runs: 714; Sgt. Joe Friday’s badge number: 714; the number on the Quaaludes made by Rorer: 714
As far as I know, they no longer make any of the above. They stopped making Rorer 714’s in the United States in 1982. For those of us Baby Boomers who think that it was only yesterday we would take a Quaalude (or two)…think again. 1982 was 35 years ago. THIRTY-FIVE YEARS AGO.
The wonderful thing that we can claim about Quaaludes (or as we called them…Ludes)is that it was our drug. It was a Baby Boomer drug. Sure, in one form or another they’re probably still around. Whatever the U.S. gives up on, Mexico sees as a booming prospect.
Okay. So for you who aren’t our age, let me give a brief explanation. In a sentence, I would say, Ludes were like drinking without drinking. They were cheap (I seem to remember $4 a tab, but it might have been less), and produced the same silly smile.
One of the main points of taking Quaaludes is that I would take one (or two), go out to the bar, and I wouldn’t spend as much money on alcohol. It was perfect.
If it only worked that way.
I took one or two, drank the same amount, and another night’s memory was lost in the stratosphere. I don’t remember ever taking Quaaludes and cocaine. If I did, then that’s the exact reason why I didn’t remember taking Quaaludes and cocaine.
My girlfriend (a redhead) didn’t like drinking much; but boy could she swallow Quaaludes; and she could handle herself relatively well…but then again…who was I to judge?
When I moved to New York, I had heard about a doctor who prescribed Quaaludes like baby aspirin. All you had to do was go in and complain about stress.
So I did.
As I was in the waiting room, I looked around and noticed that there was absolutely nothing that was nailed down. If necessary, that whole office could be cleaned out and left empty including the paintings in under a half hour. I respected that.
Quaaludes was just another something I sought to fill the hole in my soul. I had no problems. I had no situations. I had no longings. I had no use for a power greater than myself. I found one in pill form, and it worked.
Until it didn’t.
I never saved a cent by doing quaaludes. I don’t even think I drank less. I just considered it a head start.
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