Why Can’t We See Ourselves?
When there are no mirrors around, I believe my looks haven’t changed since I was twenty-three. I feel like I’m still a player, and that everyone still uses the word ‘player.’ I struggle to keep in the same shape that I was when I was in college when all I had to do was lie on the couch, sip a beer, and smoke a joint.
My mind still sees myself in a certain way. It’s not that I’m delusional; when I look in the mirror, I see myself as I am now. I am an old Baby Boomer who thinks he still looks this:
I don’t look like that anymore. Why can’t I get that through my thick head?
My wife is very pretty, and there are many women my age who are good looking. So, why do I refuse to see myself the same way that young women do?
My brain still works like a twenty-three year old. It’s a cruel trick the Universe plays on us. I don’t know if women go through the same thing, but I know I’m not the only guy who feels this way. I don’t know if my wife is attracted to me, or feels pity for me. (Not that I’ve ever minded pity)
I can delude myself in so many different ways. When a twenty-something beautiful girl is staring at me, I can convince myself that she is inescapably attracted to me; when in fact she’s just checking her makeup in the reflection from my forehead (which now extends further towards the back of my neck).
My nephew describes the entire process so much better than I ever could. I recorded a conversation we had on the phone, and it is the funniest three minutes you will ever spend. I urge you to listen on:
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