Say What You Want Instead of What You Don’t Want
Eliminate the word “don’t” from your life
“Don’t run with those scissors!”
What does this mean to a five-year-old?
Run with those scissors! I’m running. I’m carrying scissors. Yep. Just what I wanna do. But, what? What, Daddy? “Don’t run with those scissors “? But I’m running. Oh, scissors. Throw away scissors? Drop ’em on the couch? But I want the scissors. I gotta cut the string. I got the scissors. Don’t run? Just sit on the couch? But the string’s on the porch. I like running. Johnny’s waiting on the porch to open the package. Oh! Daddy wants me to ….
Given the standard instruction, “Don’t run with scissors,” you can see how a 5-year-old could get confused processing that statement. What should she do, and how should she do it? And before she’s figured it out, she may experience the result of running with scissors, which is what her father was trying to prevent.
It’s easy to say, “Don’t do this, don’t do that,” because there are so many don’ts in our lives. But you get better results from people of all ages, and everybody feels better when you explain what you want instead of what you don’t want.
