Surviving Breakups When You Have BPD
*Content warning for self harm*
Breakups have always been rough for me. My friends seemed to move on much faster than me, but even more than that, they didn’t seem to feel the same nothingness that I felt when I was enduring a breakup. Until I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder this year, I didn’t understand why I would try to avoid breakups like the plague. I would sometimes unintentionally manipulate my partner into thinking that I was happy within the relationship and that everything was fine, when it really wasn’t. It was easier to be unhappy in the relationship than to feel like I was drowning in pain for a month or longer.
It wasn’t until I read about other people who had BPD and felt that their breakups were harder for them than anyone they knew. Now that I know the reason why, I’m able to understand myself more. Over the years, I’ve developed a lot of breakup knowledge. I’ve seen which types of things works to move you past it and which don’t.
It makes sense why people with BPD take breakups more harshly than people without it. We tend to experience more intense emotions than others, and that’s awful because we also have a plethora of maladaptive coping mechanisms, some of which are even listed in the DSM (self harm and impulsive behaviors). That’s why DBT is recommended for us, because it focuses on…
