How to Use Dialogue in Fiction to Move Your Story Forward
You never, ever converse in fiction the way you converse in real life!
Every now and then I read the fiction of an emerging writer. It goes something like this.
“Hello. How are you?”
“I’m good. You?”
“Good, too. How’s your family?”
“They’re good. Anna was asking after you, yesterday.”
“Cool. Tell her I’m okay.”
“Have you heard from Bob?”
“No, I think he’s been quite busy. Nobody has seen him around for a while.”
“Or maybe he and Louise have broken up. I haven’t seen her either, and generally they’re always at the pub together.”
It’s a common error to think that conversation in fiction works the same way in fiction as it does in real life. Emerging writers do this for two reasons — one reason is to make the story as real as possible, and the other reason is to extend the word count.
It doesn’t work. What is does is slow down the pace of the story to the point where the reader loses interest. The professional way is to use conversation to propel the story forward.
Narrative vs Dialogue
Both dialogue and narrative are used to tell stories. Here’s an example of the same story told — one through narrative and the other through two people conversing.
“Jack was busy speaking to Jane when he saw the gunman walk into the bistro. He wondered if the man was simply carrying, or if he was there to shoot someone. He glanced over at Jane and checked to see if she had seen the gunman as well. It appeared so, because she was looking in the same direction that he was. She turned to him, and opened her mouth to speak. Then the bullets started flying, and Jack told her to hit the deck.”
That’s one way of doing it.
Here’s another way.
“Checkout the guy who’s just walked through the door. He’s carrying bigtime.”
“Yup. I can see that. Think he means business?” asked Jane just as the man raised the AR-15.
“On the floor!” shouted Jack as he leaned over to Jane and pulled her down with him.
Same scene. The one uses dialogue while the other narrates what is happening.
Ratio of Narrative to Dialogue
There are those who have used dialogue to tell entire stories. It can be very difficult to read. And then there are writers who use narrative predominantly to tell their stories. Danielle Steele tends to do that.
Neither is right or wrong. It depends on the skill of the writer as to whether it works or not. In order to hit a note that works for most readers, though, generally two thirds narrative and one third dialogue is a good combination.
The Speed of the Story
Stories move at different paces, and there are techniques that determine the speed. For example, if you were to write ten very long sentences, each comprising 30 or 40 words, regardless of content, the story would move forward very slowly. That’s because the reading speed of the reader slows down in order to understand each sentence. Long sentences are more difficult to put meaning to than short sentences. When the writer uses many short sentences after each other, not only could the piece appear choppy, but the reader will also read at a much faster speed. This is because short sentences are easier to read than long sentences. You can determine the pace of your story by letting your characters speak in either very short sentences, many long sentences, or a combination of the two.
So let’s look at the above story again.
“Look at the guy at the door!”
“He’s carrying — bigtime!”
“Think he’s serious?”
“Hit the deck!”
Those are very short sentences. They certainly get the scene across, but they could be staccato. Or you could combine both long and slow sentences, and then it would come out something like this.
“Look at the guy wearing the red shirt — the one with the beard — coming through the door on the left. He looks really angry, pissed off, as if he’s searching for someone. and he’s got an AR-15 that’s ready for shooting.”
“Yup. He looks like he is ready for business — ”
“Hit the floor!”
All these conversations say more or less the same thing, but they vary in pace and information. The more information you have, the slower the action.
Real Life and Fiction are Two Different Things
The way we eradicate disbelief is to insert common everyday habits, value systems, or products into our stories. So if I’m talking about a 7' vampire, I would say that he had his clothes custom made by Ralph Lauren, and that he was often seen at high-end clubs at night. Everybody can relate to Ralph Lauren, and everybody can relate to a high-end club. It is by combining the known with the fictional elements that the story is made more real.
The same thing goes for dialogue. Essentially, conversation is a great way of moving a story forward, especially when we add known elements like describing a momentary expressing on a face or note the tone of voice. Everybody is familiar with seeing expressions on people’s faces, so even if the conversation is not the kind we would have in real life, by simply describing elements of the dialogue taking place, not only does it move the story forward, but it becomes real to the reader.
Other Purposes of Dialogue
Of course, there’s bad dialogue, good dialogue, and amazing dialogue. And sometimes conversations can be inserted just to provide background, or to reveal the feelings of a character in a story. The thing to remember is that conversation in stories are not there as a filler to extend the word count of your story. Conversations in story always have a purpose, and before your characters have one, you need to know what purpose will be achieved before you write it!
So Here’s My Story for Today
“Covid?”
“Confirmed yesterday.”
“Which type?”
“The deadly one.”
“How long?
“Six weeks at the most.”
“I’m sorry.”
“They might find a cure.”
“Indeed.”
