Engineering the Alpha (Female)
I started a little project. A body project. Did I mention that the project I’m conducting is designed for the male body? Yeah. My friends thought it was nuts, too. And that was before they heard the details.
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My friends at this point, because they think I’m batshit.[/caption]
It’s hardly a secret that I’m enthralled by how fucking neat the body is. I study it in my spare time, from many different practional views. I’m trying and testing and adjusting and tweaking as needed. I’m in the off-season for Spartan, so I decided the best way to keep myself from overtraining is to submerse myself in an intense restructural program with clear guidelines.
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I feel this excited about new programs, new knowledge, new body stuff anything YAY.[/caption]
So thanks to a Tinder match (LOL), I picked up a new book, started reading, and immediately, the “FUCK YES” light went on. The structure, education, and guidance I was hoping to find were in this book that was, ironically, written for the male body. *shrugs shoulders* (I like to joke that I’m a former mountain man trapped in a female body.) So, I figured, why not see how it works for the female yang?
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Because Cristina Yang, that’s why.[/caption]
A lot of new protocol came with the program. I’d be utilizing intermittent fasting (terrifying). I’d be learning some new lifts (intriguing). I’d be resetting my insulin sensitivity (new and exciting). And managing other hormones that should, in theory, make me stronger and more efficient overall. My main goal: to teach my body how to use carbs (without bloating my face or belly, feeling sludgy, or triggering that ‘eat til ya can’t breathe’ part of my brain that led to me being 20 lbs heavier a few years back).
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The tire around my waist.[/caption]
Initial Concerns
- How the fuck am I gonna go 16 hours without eating? Sure, I’ll sleep for (hopefully) half of it, but the other half… I’m Queen of Hanger. My stomach hurts when I’m hungry. Not casual grumbles, full on hurts, as though someone has an iron grip on it.
- Giving up fruit. That’s my main homie. Carbs make me look all flubbery, so I wasn’t too sappy about that bit, but saying goodbye to the best healthy noms in my arsenal? Rough.
- Will I be fucking exhausted? I carb cycled for Halloween last year, and my brain revolted with putting me in a state of shock that rendered me unable to understand my roommate when she was talking to me. On Day 1. So, yeah.
- Protein shakes? GOO. The only mix I’ve had makes me gag, so having to do that 4x a week with a new shake? Nervous.
But I hopped right into the program, trying not to dwell, because LOL, did you see that paragraph? Fudge. Fudge with nuts.
I expected the first few days to be misery, which makes for the most fun writing. Here’s what really happened in the first two weeks of the insulin reset:
- clear-headed mornings, sans caffeine
- no sight of the Hangry Monster
- uber hydrated
- learned difference between head/tummy hunger
- veggies galore
- dope skin
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How I felt when I realized fasting didn’t mean feeling like I was being tortured[/caption]
I usually need a few cups of coffee to get me going in the morning. In a fasted state, I seem to have better self-created energy. I’m also generally the worst about having to wait to eat because my stomach starts to hurt, and that’s what makes me bitch the fuck out. In the second week of the program, this became more of an issue during the final 2 hours of my fast, but I discovered a good way to pass the morning (because it does start to feel long before you’re allowed to eat) is to incorporate coffee, tea, and fizzy, flavored water.
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Saw those obstacles and hopped right on over. BAM.[/caption]
I learned to dislike rest days even more (LOL I hate taking days off) because that meant less food. However, eating tons of healthy fats leaves me satisfied and full. No real physical cravings. Learning that most of my cravings are mental, which is interesting. It’s not the actual foods I miss… but the way they make my brain light up. This is fascinating to me, and also sounds a lot like the brain of an addict. (Sugar is, in fact, addictive. Copious research can be found on the interwebs. Commence your Google.)
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When you realize your brain is an asshole that you can tell to go fuck itself because I’M THE BOSS NOW[/caption]
Because veggies “don’t really count,” I ate a lot of them to fill me up. Lots of kale, in fact, and because you can have healthy fats, saute that crud up in a scootch of olive oil and spices, and it’s actually quite delightful. Also lots of salsa with vegetables as scoops (peppers of all kinds work best). Low cal, lots of flave.
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Me + veggies[/caption]
I did start mentally creating my “Treat List” for when Phase II rolls around. I’m allowed an Indulgence Day (because I don’t believe in “cheat days”) during that time, and boy, do I want me some cornbread and Java House Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins. Oh god. Drooling.
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How Treat Days are gonna feel[/caption]
Now that I’ve got myself all worked up, I’m gonna chug some water, and snooze away the first 8 hours of my 16 hour fast. Here’s to carbs in week 3, and TREAT YOSELF DAYS in Week 5.
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Having carbs back is great, but, uh, I’m ready for some treats[/caption]
HBIC,
Bossey Boots
