Sorry PSL Lovers — This Is Not For You
It’s fall.
I’m with the majority: I love this season (basic as that is). Crisp air, pretty leaves, the best sunsets (seriously, why). It does a lot for my feels and happies.
[caption id=”attachment_2758" align=”aligncenter” width=”373"]
Heart feels during fall for no goddamn reason other than LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL WHY THO[/caption]
But not if you’re Matt Bellasai. This still makes me laugh, and I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen it.
I wouldn’t go so far to say that PSLs taste like someone sprinkled cinnamon on a shit sandcastle, but I will say they’re not that great. They taste fine; if you like them, good. Drink them til you hate them. Or until they take them off the menu for the season. Whichever.
[caption id=”attachment_media-6" align=”aligncenter” width=”270"]
The reactions right now: The FUCK did she say? MURDER HER.[/caption]
I avoided a post about the PSL because 1. Everyone has, 2. I don’t see the point in bandwagon criticizing, and 3. bitching needs a purpose, or at least provides an alternative. I didn’t have one, until now.
[caption id=”attachment_2767" align=”aligncenter” width=”500"]
Heyyyyy[/caption]
A few weekends ago, I was in Chicago for the Chicago Marathon. I wasn’t running; that nonsense has been fully checked off my bucket list of Dumb Shit to Do to My Body. I had friends running on behalf of UIowa’s Dance Marathon, so I was there in support. Around mile 10, we picked a spot, and in the interim, my body fell asleep standing up. So I dragged my tired pumpkins over to the nearest Starbucks, which was a block away because Starbucks are everywhere in Chicago (except when you’re in desperate need; I call this the Starbucks Condundrum. When you don’t want one, you see them every few minutes. When you do, can’t find one close.)
I planned on regular, black coffee, like I usually get at every coffee shop (unless I’m feeling randomly fancy), when my stomach poked me in the ribs. Yo. We’re cranky this morning. Don’t feed us that acidic sludge. Can’t you just treat us this morning? PLEASE?
[caption id=”attachment_2774" align=”aligncenter” width=”400"]
If my stomach had a face[/caption]
I scanned my options as the line eased forward. And then I saw something new: Chile Mocha. This sounds delightfully intriguing.
[caption id=”attachment_2777" align=”aligncenter” width=”500"]
Curiosity meerkat is intrigued, too.[/caption]
So I ordered. And I sipped. And holy happy, spicy, party in my mouth, it was perfection for my palette.
If you’re looking for something that doesn’t taste like pumpkin goop and warm milk, this is a lip-smacking, spice-popping, delightful little cup of joy. Equal parts sweet and savory. So much yum.
My two cents?
Skip the PSL and give your mouth something new to salivate over. Or at the least, don’t knock it til you try it.
HBIC,
Bossey Boots
