SELF-IMPROVEMENT
Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations: Overcoming Disappointment
Focus on what we can control and let go of what we can’t.
“I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values — and follow my own moral compass — then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own.” — Michelle Obama
We all have expectations of people and situations. It can be disappointing when they don’t live up to our desires. Sometimes we’re left feeling hurt or even angry for a while before moving on with life as if nothing happened — which isn’t always healthy!
Abandoning unrealistic expectations may help you overcome feelings such as disappointment and not to let those moments consume your life!
Disappointment is a common emotion that we all experience from time to time. It usually stems from our unrealistic expectations of people or situations. We put these individuals and scenarios on pedestals, and when they inevitably let us down, we feel disappointed. This can be very frustrating and unfulfilling. To overcome disappointment, we need to abandon our unrealistic expectations.
It’s important to remember that people are imperfect. We all make mistakes and sometimes fall short of others’ expectations. High standards are okay, but we must be realistic about who or what we’re setting our sights on. Otherwise, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment.
When we let go of our unrealistic expectations, we open ourselves to new possibilities. We may be surprised by how much more fulfilling life can be when we don’t expect perfection from ourselves or others. So the next time you feel disappointed, take a step back and ask yourself if your expectations are realistic. If not, it may be time to let them go.
How to Dispel Unrealistic Expectations in Daily Life and Start Enjoying Life Again
We need to be realistic about life and not expect too much. Unrealistic expectations can disillusion you with life and make you lose out on the good things. Here are some tips on how to dispel unrealistic expectations:
- Be grateful for what you have and focus on the positive things in your life. This will help you to appreciate life more.
- Don’t compare yourself to others, as this can lead to disappointment in your life. Accept that everyone is different and has different circumstances.
- Try not to expect too much from people as they may not be able to meet your expectations. Accepting people for who they are is essential, not trying to change them.
- Don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect, as this is impossible! Aim for progress, not perfection.
- Learn from your mistakes and use them as a learning opportunity so that you can do better next time.
Realistic Vs. Unrealistic Expectations
Having realistic expectations in life is vital, as unrealistic ones can lead to disappointment.
Realistic expectations are based on facts and evidence, whereas unrealistic ones are often based on hopes and dreams. It is crucial to distinguish between the two to manage your expectations accordingly.
Here are some signs that your expectations may be unrealistic:
- You expect others to change for you: You cannot control how other people behave, so expecting them to change for you is usually unreasonable.
- You expect things to happen overnight: Good things take time! Patience is critical when it comes to achieving your goals.
- You expect perfection: Nobody is perfect, including you! Accepting this will help you to be more forgiving of yourself and others.
- You expect life to be easy: Life is full of ups and downs, so expecting it to be smooth sailing all the time is unrealistic.
If you find that your expectations are unrealistic, don’t despair! Changing your mindset and setting realistic goals for yourself is possible. by following these tips:
- Be patient: Allow yourself and others the time to achieve something great.
- Do your research: Make sure you have all the facts before making any decisions.
- Set achievable goals: Choose goals that are challenging but attainable.
- Manage your expectations: Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or others to meet high standards.
Following these tips can start setting realistic expectations for yourself and others. This will help you to avoid disappointment and enjoy life more.
“Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.” — Marilu Henner
The Benefits of Letting go of Unrealistic Expectations & Finding Balance
Suppose you’re feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or disappointed in your work. In that case, you may let unrealistic expectations get the best of you.
It can be hard to let go of what you think your work should look like and accept it for what it is. But if you do, it will help you find balance and live a more fulfilling life.
Some benefits of letting go of unrealistic expectations include:
- More balance: If you’re constantly chasing an impossible ideal, you’ll never feel like you have enough. Accepting your work for what it is will help you find a healthier balance.
- Less stress: It can be incredibly stressful when striving for something out of reach. You’ll likely feel less stressed if you learn to let go of those unrealistic expectations.
- More enjoyment: Once you stop expecting your work to be something it’s not, you may find that you start enjoying it more. You can appreciate the good parts without being blindsided by the bad.
- Greater satisfaction: If you can let go of unrealistic expectations, you may be more satisfied with your work. You can be proud of what you’ve accomplished instead of feeling like it’s never enough.
Letting go of unrealistic expectations is not always easy, but it can be incredibly beneficial. If you find yourself struggling with unrealistic expectations, try following these tips:
- Acknowledge your feelings: Feeling disappointed or upset when your work doesn’t meet your expectations is okay. Allow yourself to feel those emotions without judgment.
- Identify the source: What about your work that isn’t meeting your expectations? Is it the workload, the pay, or the company culture? Once you identify the source, you can start to work on finding a solution.
- Set realistic goals: If you’re setting yourself up for disappointment, it’s time to start setting realistic goals. Choose goals that are achievable and within your control.
- Be patient: Change doesn’t happen overnight. If you’re working towards a more realistic goal, be patient and give yourself time to get there.
- Find support: If you’re struggling to overcome unrealistic expectations, reach out to a friend or family member for support. Talking about your struggles can help you feel less alone and more motivated to make changes. Letting go of unrealistic expectations is not always easy, but it can be beneficial.
Our expectations have to do more with our fears and attachments.
Our fear of not getting what we want leads to expectations in the first place. And our attachment to the outcome keeps us holding on to those expectations even when they are not working out.
When we can let go of our fears and attachments, we can also let go of our unrealistic expectations. This doesn’t mean that we stop setting goals or wanting things; it means that we become more realistic about what is possible and allow ourselves to be okay with whatever the outcome.
Accepting Reality & Overcoming Disappointment
It can be difficult to accept reality when it doesn’t meet our expectations. But learning to do so can help us overcome disappointment and find peace in our lives.
When we recognize that our expectations have more to do with us than with the other person or the situation, it can be easier to let them go. We can’t control what others do or how they behave, but we can control our thoughts and actions.
If we can focus on what we can control and let go of what we can’t, we may find that we can overcome disappointment and live a more fulfilling life.
“When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.” — Ryan Reynolds
Have you ever struggled with unrealistic expectations? What tips would you add for overcoming disappointment? Share your thoughts in the comments below! Thanks for reading!
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This article appeared first in Substack’s Beyond Two Cents.
© Alejandro Betancourt, 2022. All Rights Reserved.
