Parents; It’s Our Responsibility to Teach Our Kids About Death

Death is a challenging topic to talk about, but it is inevitable.

Alejandro Betancourt
Bottomline Talks

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“We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will” — Chuck Palahniuk

Death is usually a taboo topic, especially when it hits home. It’s almost like we are all waiting for someone to take the responsibility of talking about death to our kids. There are several reasons why we need to talk about death with children. The most important is to understand what will happen if they experience it or if someone close to them experiences it.

Don’t try to bring up the subject — start by talking about births or other topics that they are already aware of, and work your way up to death. I generally do not discuss an issue unless they ask about it. They may even inquire about it before they are ready to talk about it on occasion. As a result, death is a topic that I have introduced to my children.

Death may not be an easy subject for parents, but it can give us great peace of mind when we talk about it with our children — even if all they want to know is how long people live and what happens after death. It would help if you answered your kid’s questions. If there are things you don’t understand or feel uncomfortable talking about, say so! There will always be another opportunity in the future to discuss death again.

No matter how old your child gets, they should never get tired of hearing stories from their loved ones who have passed away because these memories mean everything to them now. My children inquire about their grandparents and great-grandparents, who have passed away at least once a week. They’re interested in learning more about their lives.

Children may feel death in a different way than adults. They may not understand it, but they will at some point — and when that time comes for them, you have already taken the responsibility of teaching your child about death. We all have the responsibility of teaching our kids about death at some point. Make sure it’s when they are ready — not before!

Death is a challenging topic to talk about, but it is inevitable.

It would be best if you had an explanation of what death means and how it happens. Death can be seen as not stopping life but changing life’s form after we die. Parents must teach their children that they will die because this gives them time for preparation.

Philosophers have always argued about the true meaning of death. This is because it’s a topic that we can’t know for sure. We can only come up with our interpretations and explanations. We all have our ways of describing death, but there is no denying that we all need to think about and talk about it with our children because death is part of life. There is no way around it.

Death is a part of life that we cannot escape. It’s not something to be afraid of because death can bring about peace and happiness if it means saying goodbye to someone you love who has passed away.

The result of death is that our bodies no longer function or cannot support us any further — usually, death comes with old age, although there are other reasons. Even a young child might lose their life as a result of this. Children must be aware of this. I’ve started to bring up the subject in our conversations, and my sons still think it only happens to older people, but we’re bringing up the issue in our discussions.

Metaphors and stories may assist you in communicating this difficult topic.

It’s difficult for kids to comprehend the concept of death. And we, as adults, struggle with it as well! They may have many questions, and it may be hard for parents to know what to say. If a child experiences a death of a loved one, children may struggle with fears of being forgotten, getting lost, or being left alone. Parents should try to help their children understand that death is a part of life and introduce the idea of rebirth and growth.

Some people believe that talking about death to children is a bad idea, but this may not be the case. It will help them understand how life cycles work if you tell them about the process of dying. It will also let them appreciate their existence more as they grasp that it will come to an end.

Use simple words and explanations:

It’s better not to use flowery words when talking about death. When you tell your kid that a loved one has died, maintain a balanced tone with compassion. Use phrases that are clear and straightforward, like, for example, “I’ve got some sad news for you. Grandma passed away today.” Allow your child time to absorb what you’ve said before going on.

Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

Comfort your child by listening to them.

When a loved one passes away, children respond in their way. Some kids shed tears; some ask questions. Others appear to be unaffected by the situation. That is fine. Continue to comfort your child with hugs or warmth if they need it. Answer all their questions, and if you don’t know an answer say so. It’s normal for your child to witness your discomfort or tears. To be sad and cry for someone’s death is natural and human.

Put emotions into words.

Ask kids to express what they’re thinking and feeling. Labeling some of your own emotions is a good idea. It makes it simpler for kids to talk about their feelings. Say things like, “I understand you’re sad. I’m sad, too.”

The death of a pet.

The best thing you can do is be honest and straightforward when describing the situation. Explain that pets don’t live as long as humans and die of old age. Give them the chance to ask questions about anything they’re confused about and reassure them that they aren’t alone in this challenging period.

No matter what your beliefs about death are, you will experience it in one form or another.

Some people feel that death does not end, while others believe otherwise; yet, as we all know, death is a certainty. It’s a topic that will come up in the context of your beliefs and convictions, so you’d better be prepared!

Death may also signify the conclusion of a person’s existence, but death can also represent a new path that will take us to other dimensions beyond our physical boundaries. Death may be perceived as releasing someone from their pain and suffering on Earth rather than terminating their entire life because it allows them serenity within themselves after they die.

Death should be discussed at home since schools are unprepared to educate kids about it when it arises in conversation with peers who may have recently lost a loved one due to sickness or accidents resulting in death.

Death will always be an inevitable topic for parents, but death education should start when kids are ready — not before. Death isn’t easy or comfortable for many people, especially when they have experienced its consequences themselves. But, death plays a significant role in every person who has lived on this planet from day one until now and into the future; so, parents should take up death education when the time is right.

For some, death may seem like an easy topic to discuss with kids because death itself looks pretty simple. But, death education will help them understand that death isn’t about dying or ceasing to exist but instead learning how life cycles work and appreciating their existence more as they grasp that it has an end.

Some people believe that when the body dies, the spirit lives on in another form that could either be reborn into another living creature or a different dimension depending on your viewpoint/belief system.

I like to educate my kids on the various perspectives and beliefs that others have, and at the end, I ask them a question: What do you believe? And I allow them to form their own opinions and talk about their feelings based on what they’ve come up with.

I hope this information is helpful to you in some manner, and if you’re unsure, consider speaking with a professional. There are many children’s psychotherapists out there that I’m sure can help you better than I can. I’m writing about some of my personal experiences for the sake of sharing. This isn’t intended to be any professional advice; it’s written for entertainment and educational purposes.

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Alejandro Betancourt
Bottomline Talks

Entrepreneur, Investor, Executive Coach & Author. Single Dad sharing insights on Mindset, Philosophy, and Self-Improvement.