SELF-IMPROVEMENT
The Forbidden Fruit Effect: Why We Crave What We Cannot Have
How to Use It to Our Advantage
“People are obsessed with what they don’t allow themselves to have, and then they become controlled by it. Forbidden fruit is everyone’s main meal.” — Madeleine Ryan
It is a curious phenomenon that humans are often drawn to something they cannot or should not have. Whether cheating on a test, eating junk food, or spending too much on shopping sprees, we are fascinated by the allure of the forbidden.
For many of us, there seems to be something compelling about crossing boundaries and defying social norms. This dynamic can be seen as early as childhood: even young children explore the world with intense curiosity and delight, eager to try new things and break the rules.
At the root of this impulse, some psychologists suggest, is our innate desire for novelty and excitement. In a complex world of inanimate objects and predictable routines, the wonder of danger can sometimes feel like a breath of fresh air.
This desire may also reflect our need for autonomy and self-expression. Humans have always craved the freedom to self-determine their destiny; breaking societal limits can offer an intoxicating taste of that freedom in miniature form.
Whatever its cause, the impulse towards what is forbidden remains timeless and universal.
After all, we want what we shouldn’t have for a reason. And though forbidden fruit may sometimes taste sweetest, it never fails to leave us wanting more.
What is the Forbidden Fruit Effect?
The Forbidden Fruit Effect is the name given to the human tendency to want something more if it is off-limits or challenging to get. Psychologists first coined the term in the 1970s, but the concept has been around for much longer.
The Bible story of Adam and Eve provides a classic example of this phenomenon.
After being tempted by a serpent to eat from the tree of knowledge, Eve finds the fruit so desirable that she gives some to her husband, Adam, despite knowing that it will likely lead to their expulsion from Eden.
The Forbidden Fruit Effect can be seen in many different areas of life, from romantic relationships to dietary habits. Some are more attracted to people who are unattainable or out of our reach in some way, whether because they are already in a relationship, have different social statuses, or live too far away.
And when it comes to food, we often crave the items that are bad for us, resulting in dietary choices that sabotage our health.
Why Do We Want What We Cannot Have?
There are a few possible explanations for why the Forbidden Fruit Effect exists. One possibility is that humans are wired to seek out novelty and excitement and that anything off-limits provides an opportunity for both.
Another option is that we want what we cannot have because it feels like a challenge, and humans love a good challenge.
Finally, it could be argued that the Forbidden Fruit Effect reflects our basic human desire for autonomy and self-expression.
Whatever the reason, one thing is clear: we want what we cannot have because it feels good, at least at the moment.
The Forbidden Fruit Effect can have positive and negative consequences, depending on the situation.
In some cases, it can lead us to take risks that pay off in the end, such as pursuing a relationship with someone we are attracted to or trying new food that turns out to be delicious.
But in other cases, it can result in bad decisions that have harmful consequences, such as cheating on a partner or overeating junk food.
Ultimately, whether the Forbidden Fruit Effect is good or bad depends on the individual situation and how it is handled.
The allure of the forbidden can be partly explained by what psychologists call “The Availability heuristic” This bias refers to our tendency to judge the likelihood of an event by how easily we can bring it to mind.
In other words, we tend to overestimate the probability of more available events, either because they happened recently or because they are easier to imagine.
The Availability heuristic is one reason people are more afraid of flying than driving, even though driving is much more dangerous. Flying is a relatively rare event for most people, so it is less “available” in our minds and thus feels riskier.
It also helps to explain our fascination with the forbidden fruit effect. Because breaking rules and crossing boundaries is unusual, it is less “available” in our minds and feels more exciting.
Additionally, doing something considered taboo creates a unique thrill because we violate social norms. This sense of excitement and adventure can be addictive, leading to seeking out risky behaviors.
“The forbiddenness of a fruit makes even the taste of a lemon sweet.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Use It to Your Advantage
Recognizing the existence of the Forbidden Fruit Effect can be helpful in several ways.
First, it can help you understand why you are drawn to certain people or activities, even if they are unsuitable.
For example, if you find yourself attracted to someone unavailable or otherwise out of reach. It may be because of this Effect. Knowing this can help you to resist the temptation and focus on finding someone who is more attainable.
Second, understanding this can help you make better choices for your behavior. If you are trying to lose weight, for example, knowing that you are more likely to crave unhealthy foods that are off-limits can help you be more mindful of your choices and ensure that you stay on track.
Similarly, if you are trying to quit smoking, knowing that cigarettes will taste better once they are off-limits can help you stick to your plan and resist the urge to smoke.
The Forbidden Fruit Effect reminds us that we are often drawn to things that are bad for us, either because they are exciting or because they feel like a challenge. But by understanding the psychological reasons behind this phenomenon, we can learn to make better choices and avoid making decisions that we may regret later.
The next time you find yourself drawn to something you know you shouldn’t do, ask yourself whether it might be due to the forbidden fruit effect.
And if you’re thinking of engaging in risky or harmful behaviors, it might be time to seek help from a professional. After all, because something is forbidden doesn’t mean it’s worth pursuing.
Do you have any personal experiences with the “forbidden fruit effect?” Share them in the comments below!
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I published this article in my Substack´s Newsletter, “Beyond Two Cents.” on October 7th, 2022.
© Alejandro Betancourt, 2022. All Rights Reserved.
