SELF-IMPROVEMENT
The Surprising Benefits of Suffering: What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger?
How does one become stronger after enduring something difficult?
“There is an ancient tribal proverb I once heard in India. It says that before we can see properly we must first shed our tears to clear the way.” — Libba Bray
It is a cliché, but what doesn’t kill you can make you stronger. But it might not happen overnight. On the contrary, it takes time and patience to reap all the benefits from these difficult experiences.
So how does one become stronger after enduring something difficult?
It’s not about developing a thick skin or becoming hardened to the world. Instead, it’s about finding a way to reframe the experience in a positive light.
For example, someone who goes through a divorce might see it as an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. Or someone who loses their job might view it as a chance to start fresh and pursue their dream career.
Of course, this is easier said than done. It’s not always possible to find the silver lining in every situation. But even if we can’t see the benefits immediately, they may become clear later on down the road.
What Is Suffering and Does It Have Hidden Benefits?
The concept of suffering has been around for centuries and is a central topic in many religions.
Suffering can be defined as the pain, discomfort, or unpleasantness that one endures. It can also refer to any event or situation that causes someone mental or emotional distress. Sometimes, the person might not even know why they feel this way.
Suffering is often seen as a negative experience, and with good reason. It’s not pleasant to go through something difficult, especially if it feels like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel.
But what if I told you that suffering might not be all bad? That’s right — recent research has shown that there can be hidden benefits to suffering.
It might sound counterintuitive, but Dr. Jayawickreme says that suffering can lead to positive outcomes such as personal growth, increased wisdom, and greater compassion for others. In other words, what doesn’t kill you can make you stronger.
Eranda Jayawickreme is a Professor of Psychology at Wake Forest University and a published author. He’s the author of “Is There Value to Adversity?” published by Oxford University.
He says that:
“The idea that we can grow from difficult experiences is not new. But recent research has shown that post-traumatic growth is more common than we thought.”
So how does this happen? Jayawickreme says that it’s all about how we frame the experience.
If we view suffering as an adverse event that happens to us, then it’s likely that we will feel resentful and angry. But if we see it as an opportunity for growth, we can start to view it more positively.
This is not to say that suffering is a good thing — no one wants to go through something difficult. But if we can find a way to reframe our experiences, then we might be surprised by the hidden benefits that come from them.
Does Suffering Have Hidden Benefits?
Some believe suffering has certain benefits, such as building character, increasing empathy for others, strengthening faith, and developing resilience and humility.
There is some evidence to support these claims.
A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that people who had experienced complex life events were more likely to report increased personal growth than those who had not.
Another study found that religious suffering can lead to greater empathy for others and strengthened faith.
And a third study found that soldiers who had experienced combat were more resilient and had higher levels of self-efficacy (the belief that they could overcome challenges) than those who had not.
So there may be some truth to the idea that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But remember that this is not always the case — sometimes, people don’t bounce back from difficult experiences.
It’s also important to remember that not all suffering is equal. Some types of suffering, such as the death of a loved one, can have long-lasting effects.
So while suffering might be beneficial, it’s still not something anyone wants to go through.
If you are currently experiencing hardship, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Some people can support you and help you through this tough time. And if you think it’s necessary, reach out to a professional.
I’m not suggesting we should seek out difficult experiences to grow, but reframing the negative ones can help us see the silver lining and help us move on.
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” — Napoleon Hill
The Life-Changing Benefits of Suffering
Some psychologists believe that the human mind has a way of rewiring itself to adapt to the hardships it faces. This phenomenon is called post-traumatic growth.
Post-traumatic growth is an experience of positive psychological change after a traumatic event. It can be experienced as an increased sense of self-worth or meaning in life, improved relationships with others, or an increased definition of personal strength.
In other words, post-traumatic growth is the idea that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
The benefits from suffering are not always obvious, but they are undoubtedly there if you look for them. No one likes to suffer, but it’s a part of life. We will all experience pain and hardship at some point in our lives.
You might not be able to avoid suffering, but how you deal with it can help you feel better. I’m a big supporter of reframing and having a positive mindset. In the end, everything is a matter of perspective.
Use Your Emotional Pain as a Source of Strength
To experience the benefits of suffering, you need to reframe your view. Instead of seeing it as an Adverse event that happens to you, try to see it as an opportunity for growth.
It’s not easy, but if you can find a way to do it, you might be surprised by the hidden benefits of your difficult experiences.
Suffering is a part of life, but how you deal with it can make all the difference. If you are going through a tough time, don’t hesitate to seek help. Talk to a friend or family member, or seek professional assistance if you need it.
Remember that you are not alone and that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Suffering might be painful, but it won’t last forever. And if you can find a way to use your pain as a source of strength, you might be surprised by what you can do.
“Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.” — William Arthur Ward
The Value of Being Able To Endure Life’s Struggles & Pains
We all know that life is hard. We are constantly faced with the unavoidable struggles and pains of life. But we can’t always avoid these things. We have to endure them.
And it’s not enough to endure them — we have to find ways to grow from them and learn from them, so we grow from them. This is where the value of suffering comes in.
Suffering can make us stronger. It can teach us valuable lessons. It can help us to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. And it can help us to appreciate the good times even more.
Most people would assume that I’ve lived a sheltered life. And they are right to a certain extent — I’ve been very fortunate and am grateful for it! But my life hasn’t come without its struggles.
I’ve had to face some tough challenges head-on, and I’m not always sure how I’ve made it through them. But I have. — a solid support family network has been vital for sure. And each time, I’ve come out stronger and wiser.
I would never change any of those challenges for the world. Each has been one of the best things to happen in my life and has strengthened me.
I’m sure you can say the same for your own life.
So, next time you face a difficult situation, don’t run away from it. Embrace it. Welcome it as an opportunity to grow and learn. Because, in the end, that’s what suffering is — an opportunity for growth and learning.
And, if you can find a way to use your pain as a source of strength, you might be surprised by what you can accomplish.
Do you have any personal stories about how suffering has made you stronger? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
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I published this article in my Substack’s Newsletter, “Beyond Two Cents.” On August 26th, 2022.
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