Beijing, China
I tend to get a lot of bloody noses. And I mean a lot.
I was visiting my sister in Shanghai in 2012. She had just moved there so I was eager to visit.
We took a flight over to Beijing to see the Great Wall and the Forbidden City.
It’s a pretty short flight, about two hours. Maybe a little a longer.
Almost the same as flying home (San Francisco) to Phoenix.
Airplane cabins aren’t the best scenario for my nose so when we landed I took a quick trip to the bathroom before getting our luggage.
Warning #1.
It literally takes one sneeze, one swipe of the nose to get me started.
This one lasted 30 minutes.
Fast forward a couple of days later and we have the Forbidden City episode.
We had just left the palace when it started.
I just barely itched my nose and it started pouring out. I always carry kleenex or tissues with me for this reason.
Just walking back to the hostel when these “tea party” scammers come up to us.
Now, I’ve only visited China once but I’ve heard all types of stories about these scammers.
They invite you to a nice “tea party” as they call it and boom they take all your money and basically try to scam you out of more.
One example I’ve been told is going to a nice lunch where they offer you all these fancy foods and when you want to leave they get mad at you and charge you some ridiculous amount of money for the meal but you probably can’t afford it so they threaten you and blah blah blah. It sucks.
Back to the action, they obviously know I’m a foreigner so they try to talk to us.
These scammers speak english pretty well so they try talking to you and asking about your day and offer you a free tea party if you go and hang out with them.
Knowing it’s a horrible idea we continue to walk and avoid eye contact.
But I’m actually bleeding here so they keep asking my sister about me.
“What’s wrong with your friend?”
“We can help you if you come with us!”
“Oh what’s wrong ladies, let us help you.”
Since I bleed a lot and get treated like a leprosy victim every time, I’m use to the stares and looks from people.
My sister knows the deal and just helps when I ask for it.
We keep walking but they continue to follow us.
It’s late afternoon, maybe around three or four.
We’re tired. We just want to get back to our beds and relax.
My hands are up to my nose and I’m trying to cover my face.
But then I felt it.
Things might get a little graphic here since I have no shame when it comes to my bloody nose stories.
I understand people don’t like blood so if you don’t. Don’t read past this point. But I will say you’re missing the best part.
After a certain amount of time you’ll get a blood clot.
I’m no medical expert when it comes to these things but after a while I get this giant blood clot and it usually means my bloody nose will end soon.
I’m relieved because I’m already over this bloody nose.
About 15 minutes in and my arms are getting sore.
But I’m walking in the middle of the city. I don’t have time to look for a bathroom so I decide to just spit it out.
At this point the “tea party” scammers are still following us.
So I hock this giant blood loogie and spit it out by this tree and some bushes.
They take one look at it and run.
HA!
I finally got rid of them.
I mostly was just laughing because A) I’m in middle of Beijing let alone China B) I have blood all over my face and I look crazy and C) I just scared all the scammers and made them run away.
My sister starts busting up laughing and we turn around to see they all had left.
They didn’t even say anything to us.
They just looked at what I spit out, grimaced and left before we could say another word to them.
We get back to the hostel and I clean up my face and call it a day.
Still one of my proudest moments.
And quite possibly my greatest bloody nose story to date.
*Disclaimer: Didn’t think bloody nose photos would look good. Also didn’t have time to take any since I was bleeding, duh.
