Why Feyre Is A Badass and What I’ve Learned From Her
Okay, where are all my ACOTAR fans at? It’s okay, I’m not judging. I’m just as obsessed as you are.
And I know, it’s a TikTok bandwagon thing and I’m hella late to the partay, but shiiitttt, I’m saddled up and enjoying the ride!
I’ve just finished reading book #3— ‘A Court of Wings and Ruin’ — which the CEO of my job saw me reading and commented on how “naughty” it sounded, which it is. Ha! But I am fucking LOVING it!
Not just for the spicy aspects, but for the storyline itself, and the gems that Sarah J. Maas drops throughout it — specifically in her portrayal of Feyre’s becoming.
The Storyline:
For those of you who aren’t familiar with the story, here’s a very abbreviated synopsis of ‘A Court of Thorns and Roses’ (book #1 in the series) — no spoilers:
Feyre (fay-ruh) is a nineteen-year-old woman who lives in a world that is split up into the Faerieland (called Prythian) and the Mortal Lands — both bisected by a wall that is reinforced with magic to ensure impenetrability from one land to the other. Humans once served as slaves to Faeries, being seen as “lesser” than them due to their non-magical ways of living and being, and this wall was put in place after a great war between the two peoples. For this reason, there is substantial hatred and animosity between faeries and humans. However, holes have been made in the wall by faeries who seek to enter the mortal world and continue tormenting humans.
Feyre lives with her father and two older sisters in the mortal world. Due to her father’s misdealings as a merchant, her family lost their fortune, leaving them impoverished and on the brink of starvation far too often. So, at fourteen years old, she becomes the sole provider for her family.
One day while out hunting, she spots a doe whom she prepares to kill for food. Unfortunately, she is faced with competition when an uncommonly large wolf, who she assumes is a Faerie in disguise — yes, some faeries can shapeshift — appears and looks to be stalking the meal that she and her family so desperately need.
As her hatred for faeries is already so deeply ingrained due to their turbulent past with humans, she opts to aim her arrow at the wolf who has already sunk its teeth into the doe. She ends up killing the wolf, removes its pelt to trade for money, and takes the dead doe home for her family.
Sometime later, her home is fiercely intruded upon by a horrifying faerie beast who has come to inquire about the person responsible for killing the wolf in the woods. He had tracked a scent back to the house and come to collect the culprit as fulfillment of a Treaty made between faeries and humans — a life for a life. Feyre is to trade her own life for the life of the faerie that she killed. So, to protect her family, she reluctantly goes with the beast to the Faerie world.
Once there, Feyre is put up in a palace that belongs to the beast, named Tamlin, who eventually shapeshifts into a beautiful man. He looks like a human male but with all the best parts amplified by infinity. But she hates him for taking her away from her family and rejects his kindness at every turn, demanding to be taken home, as she fears for her family’s well-being.
Feyre’s feelings toward Tamlin begin to change, building her trust in his promise of her family being well taken care of. She begins to see his true nature behind the fierce facade he puts on, and they end up falling in love.
As she spends time in her new home and becomes closer to Tamlin, she is made aware of the magical plague that has come over Prythian. The same plague that has condemned Tamlin and the fae people living on his estate to have to wear immovable masquerade masks for the rest of their lives. And because of Tamlin’s love for Feyre, he wants to protect her from the threat that the plague poses, so she returns to the mortal world.
Feyre feels off about this and instantly regrets allowing this to happen so, shortly after her arrival, she journeys back to Prythian to be with Tamlin and fight the plague.
Upon her arrival, she discovers that Tamlin’s assumptions were correct and that he and his people are now missing and in grave danger.
She is given more insight into the true horrors of this plague, its origin, and what it threatens to do if it is not stopped. So, Feyre sets out on a mission to save her love and put this plague to an end for good.
Alright, that’s the synopsis for yuh!
But, let’s get back to my intention for this piece: Feyre’s becoming and how she is developing as not only a character but as a person.
Feyre is a complex and intimate depiction of self-discovery, courage, resilience, forgiveness, and unconditional love; her journey has greatly inspired me.
Who She Is:
From the very start of the series, in ACOTAR (book #1), Feyre has been forced to take on the daunting and burdensome responsibility of being her family's sole provider. She braves bone-chilling winters and blistering hot summer days to hunt for food and tradable goods as a means to earn money. All the while, her family treats her as if the roles are reversed and she is doing nothing more than filing her nails with her feet kicked up; the lack of appreciation is jarring at some moments, to be honest.
The exhaustion that would come from shouldering so much and enduring that kind of treatment would cause anyone to build up resentment and hatred, but Feyre continues to love, forgive, and fight for her family despite such disregard and, in some moments, degradation. She practices empathy, remembering all the pain that they too have endured. She doesn't excuse their behavior but remains mindful of the context in which they’re operating.
She chooses not to reciprocate their cold and detached attitudes. She remains who she is, displaying her inherently compassionate personality. This is something I feel provides her with a solid foundation to stand on as she endures many of the horrors she faces throughout the series (with the help of some other things, and people, of course. Wink, wink.)
But Feyre’s story is inspiring not only because of who she is and ultimately evolves into, but because throughout the story she harnesses immense courage and allows herself to embody those aspects of herself unapologetically and with confidence.
Many of us go through life withholding our truest selves or hiding aspects of who we are out of fear that others will judge or reject us. And that we will ultimately end up feeling unlovable.
Feyre is an example of a woman who has experienced trauma first-hand, who has rarely been validated by anyone, and who has been forced to carry a massive load from a young age.
She has had to make decisions that her soul rejected but her flesh was forced to go forward with.
The repetitious fracturing of her soul from her body is something that she reckons with throughout most of the series. This interferes with, but also informs, a fair portion of her decision-making as she tries to re-establish the bond between the two.
Even with the pain of this, how significantly it impacts her, and the fact that aspects of who she has become feel scary and foreign to her, she reaches a point where she decides to face and unite them, becoming the wholest version of herself.
She does this by surrendering to the choices she has had to make, forgiving herself for them, and choosing to embrace it all because she recognizes her heart. She sees how far her resilience has gotten her, and that it has contributed to her survival. And, rather than regret who she has become and the events that brought about her evolution, she finally makes peace with them.
Feyre builds herself up from what could have broken her. And, through this choice, she taps into her true power. The power that has always dwelled deep within her. The power that is her purpose.
The Lessons:
Feyre is by no means a “perfect” character, and I don’t think she’s meant to be. But she inspires me to honor both my shadow and my light. To merge them so I can stand in my fullness, rather than walk through this world in a fractured state. To see the power in my pain and to take pride in my ability to persevere.
Her strength and vulnerability make me want to live with an open and honest heart because it yields such precious rewards. Intangible rewards that are less likely to be tainted by anyone or anything because of their untouchable origin.
The prospect of living through an open heart can evoke genuine fear. Still, Feyre’s choice to love deeply anyway, and the depth of intimacy that she is able to experience because of it, is uplifting and instills hope within me.
She is also a prime example of what it means to make tough decisions but to make peace with them. To know your why and let that guide you. To practice honesty and embody integrity, even though fear and avoidance feel easier to reach for.
Feyre taught me that in order to access and harness my power, I must stop denying myself the right to be a whole person. And that all parts of me deserve a seat at the table.
Sarah J. Maas has accomplished so much in this series and I’m very thankful that I was able to stumble upon it (thanks to my good sissy-in-law).
If you have yet to pick it up, do yourself a favor and get it. Be prepared, though, because you may become obsessed — in the best way, but still quite obsessed.
Happy reading, peeps!
© 2024 Aynye’ Adams. All rights reserved.
