Member-only story
Is Being A ‘Good Listener’ Really A Good Thing?
Compliment or…?
People have always told me I’m a good listener. And I always took it as a compliment because why wouldn’t it be? Listening is an extremely important skill that not a lot of people can master.
People love to talk about themselves. They love to share their stories. They love to voice their opinions. So when there is someone on the receiving end of it, that’s a welcome surprise.
But is ‘being a good listener’ really a good thing?
Compliment?
When I was a teenager, I didn’t have that many friends. I was awkward and shy and definitely not cool. So when I did get to talk to someone, I always tried to ‘accommodate’ them as much as possible. I wanted them to enjoy my presence. I wanted them to like me, and I figured listening to what they had to say was a sure-fire way to get them to appreciate me as a person. It was, in hindsight, a symptom of that dreaded, toxic trait called ‘people-pleasing’.
That’s when the comments began.
‘You’re such a good listener!’
‘I love talking to you, you’re a great listener’
‘Thanks for listening, I really needed that’
