Is It Suitable To Say That Being a Stay-At-Home Mom is a Job?
What is the message behind this?
I cannot understand this.
Why do some stay-at-home moms feel the need to say they have a job like everyone else? Even if you don’t ask. They just need to tell you. Believe me, I’ve met such people.
Being a stay-at-home mom requires commitment, that’s undeniable. It can be exhausting, it’s true.
But a job? Words have meaning and that is not the meaning of this word.
Yet I’m not a fanatic of dictionaries. I don’t read lexicons every night to fall asleep.
So why do I find this so irritating?
I find it self-centered.
This is paradoxical.
Our society requires us to produce something tangible to gain recognition. What do people at home produce? Washed clothes?
This is the exact opposite of being self-centered. It’s dedication.
Thus some of these dedicated people want to draw attention to the work they do. It’s only human. They claim they have full-time jobs. They calculate the salary they should receive.
Everyone can understand a desire for recognition.
But if these mothers have a full-time job, what does that make me? I spend hours on my paid job. Am I only 50% a mother because I only see my kids after work?
You’re going to tell me that it’s me who’s self-centered.
Yet I also have to juggle between my daily job, household chores or medical appointments. I’m no less a mother.
And I never thought to calculate the salary I should receive to do my “mother’s job”. If we now monetize every activity we do, then why not charge my friends for a therapy session the next time we go out for a drink? I might get rich.
I was a stay-at-home mom for six months.
It was a short experience, but an experience nonetheless.
It was right after my second son was born. I took care of him and his two-year-old brother. I also took care of all the housework and chores.
It was easier for my husband and me. Finding a nursery in the middle of the year is a feat worthy of the Guinness World Records here.
Of course, I had to be organized and patient.
But I loved it so much. We went out every day. We played. We laughed.
I didn’t have to endure countless meetings with a boring boss. I wasn’t stressed by a dissatisfied client. I didn’t have to suffer a misogynist co-worker who was convinced that I only had half a brain, given that the other half remained in my kitchen.
I probably won’t remember the projects I worked on as I get older. But I will cherish the moments I shared with my kids. These moments are memories.
The time I devoted to my children was never a job. It never will. I’ll be offended if you tell me otherwise, and it’s not because I’m addicted to dictionaries.
By the way, do you know how I could enjoy this break in the first place?
I could because my husband provided for us during these few months. I finally came back to work because my salary is still very welcome.
Some mothers do not have husbands to support them. They have to make ends meet and they work and take care of their children alone. Life is often tough for them.
What does it mean to compare someone whose husband pays all the bills and someone who has to endure it all? Now, isn’t that self-centered?
When I think of these struggling mothers, it immediately brings me to the other reason why I dislike that speech.
Feminism.
You may have noticed that I always wrote about mothers, never fathers.
She is the one being misogynist, what a pretentious moron!
Unfortunately I didn’t do it by mistake. Maybe the guy who thought I was missing half my brain was right, and I am a moron.
But it makes no difference.
The reality is that most stay-at-home parents are women.
Sometimes being a stay-at-home mother is not a choice. The partner just had a better income.
It would be great if there was more equality. Can you imagine a world where men take care of children and household chores as much as women?
Sorry, but I can’t imagine this when I hear that being at home is a full-time job. Math doesn’t add up.
How do you want to advocate for equality if you make such a speech?
Words have meaning. Staying at home is a situation.
Not. A Job.
Yes it requires commitment. Yes it is useful.
And yes, it provides benefits that many people envy.
If this is about denouncing the fact that women are not sufficiently recognized, then I think it’s not the right fight.
We should battle to have the same place as men, whether at work or at home. This shouldn’t be about being worshiped because we fed the kids and cleaned the bathroom.
And I am convinced that, as long as we fight the wrong battles, we’ll win the wrong prizes.
So now, I ask you. Do you think it is suitable to say that being a stay-at-home mom is a job?
