Let Them Decide — Don’t Decide for Them
From the moment we’re born, decisions are made for us. Parents decide where we should go to school, what we should eat, and even what career path we should follow. And when we finally reach the goals set for us, the focus shifts — now it’s time to settle down, start a family, and so on. But how often do we stop and ask, instead of deciding?
A recent tragedy in India, where a young woman working at a prestigious firm took her own life due to alleged work pressure, made me reflect on this. Was it truly the workload? Or was it the realization that not being the best in a relentless rat race felt unbearable? Did the decision to opt out of this race make her feel like life wasn’t worth living anymore?
Her mother, in a heartbreaking letter, aimed to bring awareness to the toxic culture of glorifying overwork — now often justified by the idea of “work-life integration.” But even in her letter, the mother first recounted her daughter’s achievements.
This makes me wonder: Doesn’t this pressure start right from childhood? We hear familiar phrases like:
• “Life is a race, if you don’t run fast, you’ll miss out.”
• “If you’re second, you’re the first loser.”
But why can’t we train kids differently? Why not teach them to be human first? The ever-growing competition and ambition in today’s world seem to leave no room for that. The leaders of big corporations are often driven by power and money, but if they were raised with different values, perhaps things would be different.
We often think we’re protecting children by shielding them from problems, assuming it’ll help them stay focused. But who’s making that decision? Maybe exposing them to real-life challenges could actually be beneficial. Maybe it would teach them that it’s okay to talk about problems. It’s okay to seek help.
Why do we undermine the wisdom of less-experienced people? If parents don’t trust their kids to handle difficult situations, fearing they “haven’t seen the world yet,” how can they expect others to give them opportunities? How can they expect their children to handle failure if they’ve never been allowed to experience it?
We need to reconsider how we raise the next generation. It’s okay to be defeated — it’s how you learn to rise again.
