’Tis a Puzzlement.
Enemies, or allies? Did Satan get kicked out of Heaven, or did he leave at God’s behest to be Head-Torturer-in-Chief?
Now, before I start, understand that I am aware that the concept of hell’s fire and eternal torture is not taught in the Bible, either in the Old or New Testaments. Nevertheless, generations of Christians have been taught that to fail in getting saved by Christ means one is damned to an eternal torture session in the “lake of fire”, in hell. Of course, the head torturer-in-chief is said to be Satan.
But, but…hang on there, cupcake. I thought Satan was tossed out of Heaven by God due to some kind of revolution thingie? If he was, then what (pardon the expression) in the hell is going on that God would willingly send people to hell for punishment? I mean, isn’t he then sending bad people to cohabit with his least favorite insurrectionist fallen angel? Just what kind of punishment is that? Jiving for eternity with the baddest guy in history? You’d think Satan would be rewarding people for being bad and working against God on Earth!
You’d think, on the other hand, that if Satan was God’s head-torturer-in-chief that he’d be working for God, not against him. Hmm, something ain’t right, here.
So, did God and Satan do this improv thing just to fool everyone else into thinking Satan was the bad guy? If so, why? Because if they did, why didn't they explain the improv frontal story in the Bible? Why’d they leave out the punishment in hell for eternity thing?
Or was the whole improv just made up by the RCC to scare the peasant masses into being good? I mean, look, until much much later, nobody but priests could read the Bible anyway, right? So who knew it wasn’t even there to object to it being taught about?
I dunno, but this whole thing smells to high heaven, if you’ll excuse the expression. (…and not even of sulfur, in fact). To my mind, by “offering” hell to bad people in writing, I’d think they’d take it as an invitation!
Maybe it’s because we’re modern folks who just don’t think like medieval peasants? Geez, maybe? Come to think about it, I was born and grew up in Texas, and some folks do equate parts of that great State with hell. I agree, it do get hot there, so I guess to some Texans a lake of fire is just, well, like the one down the road? And, perhaps to someone who didn't grow up in the northern States, maybe having something like hell to look forward to getting a bit of relief after those frigid doggone winters sounds good, I dunno. It might to me, anyway. (Now to my German born wife? Nope, too dang hot. On the other hand, to her, sitting on a cloud and praising God all the time by strumming a harp sounds too dang much like that old comedy show about the Bavarian who did that and ended up, well, you have to see it to understand. Trust me, though, it’s funny!)
Ok, where was I? Oh, yeah. Modern folk. Well, I guess that Bavarian was modern. I notice God didn’t send him to hell. Maybe there’s some hope for the rest of us?
I dunno, man. After this winter rain in Oregon, by the time April comes around, I’m ready for a little hell, I tell ya. Just do me a favor, and don’t tell my wife, ok? She’s got family over there…and a brother in Munich.
