11 Things About Life When You’re 25 That Took You a Whole 9 Years To Realize
When you slowly realize that life is entirely different from what you imagined it would be at 25
When you’re 25, you feel invincible — more than you did five years before. Adulthood is something rife with growing complications, feelings of disillusionment, and a whole slew of things that the four walls of your first apartment couldn’t protect you from. But there’s something about those dense 9 years it took you to get “adulting” down that just makes life 10 times better.
1. Life is really short, and you shouldn’t waste time doing things that make you unhappy
Life is short, man. If something makes you unhappy, avoid it like the plague (or like a person who is literally a plague).
You also shouldn’t waste time on things that don’t bring value to your life and happiness, even if those things may seem fun or cool at first glance.
For example, you might think getting punched in the face by a guy named “Dirty Dan” would be pretty cool because of all the stories he told about how he used to beat up bikers in high school (oh you know how guys are).
But when Dirty Dan finally throws down his knuckle sandwich at your face after weeks of waiting around for him to finish watching Major League 2 on his laptop so he could punch something again. It turns out not only is this guy kind of boring and meanwhile talking about himself in the third person, but also he sucks at punching people!
2. The best gifts are the ones that are handmade, not bought
The best gifts are the ones that are handmade, not bought. If you disagree with this statement, you haven’t been paying attention to my life over the last 9 years.
I’m sure some people will disagree with me and say that a gift card or an iTunes gift card is better than one that’s handmade. But those people are wrong for two reasons:
- I know how to make things (in case it wasn’t clear, and when I’m not a lazy bum).
- If someone gives me something handmade by them, then I know it’s extraordinary because they spent time thinking about my interests and personality before making it.
If someone just buys me something from Amazon Prime or Walmart on their way home from work. Well, it’s just not as thoughtful as when someone takes the time to think of what would mean the most to me. Even if it means spending money they don’t really have yet again!
Still, the best gifts are ones made by hand! It’s something about the hand job.
3. Instead of looking for a relationship, work on building one with yourself
The fact is, you’re still not that old. You’re just older than you were a few months ago. And while that doesn’t mean your life should be any different, it does mean that your perspective might be a little different.
You’ll start seeing things as they really are instead of how you imagined them. And that’s a good thing.
Instead of looking for a relationship, work on building one with yourself. Take time to reflect on what makes you happy, what makes you sad, and how you want to make others feel. It will take some time (and maybe some therapy), but once you start seeing yourself clearly, everything else will fall into place.
You’ll realize that it’s okay not to know what the future holds for you yet. It’s okay if you don’t know where your career is headed or haven’t figured out what kind of person you want to marry. Because heck, at 25, there’s still plenty of time for all of that!
I’m a secret hopeless romantic. I’m also really good at making myself feel like crap — a skill I’ve developed over the years. I’ve been trying to find someone else to complete me, but heartaches and lowered self-confidence have followed.
But why? Why do we feel this way? Does it always have to be this way?
I think we can change our mindset because if you can change your mindset, you can change your life!
Instead of looking for someone else to complete us or give meaning back to our lives, we have learned (and hopefully accepted) responsibility for making ourselves happy, healthy, and whole again; no one else can do that except ourselves!
4. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so be nice
We all have our demons we battle every day, and sometimes it takes seeing someone else go through something similar to realize this fact about ourselves and those around us: No one is perfect.
We all have our own things going on in our lives that we don’t talk about because we feel embarrassed or ashamed or scared of other people’s reactions when we tell them about it. Like hello, we don’t want them to look at us differently or judge us, or because we’ve convinced ourselves that everyone has it worse than us anyway, so why bother?
No one has everything figured out or knows exactly what they want out of life, but everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know anything about, so be nice — even if someone looks like they have their shit together on the outside because chances are they don’t.
And if you find it hard to be friendly, here are a few things to keep in mind:
- You’re going to get old.
- You’re not the center of the universe, hon, and neither is anyone else.
- You have nothing to prove to anyone.
- Don’t compare yourself to others (you don’t know what they’ve been through).
- Everyone has feelings — yours aren’t any more valid than theirs are, so stop being a jerk!
- If you have something nice to say, say it! If not, keep your mouth shut, or at least think before you speak/tweet/post/text/email/etc.
- Don’t be afraid of failure; instead, be afraid of not trying because you don’t want to fail! Failure leads to success if you learn from it and keep trying!
- There will always be people who love you and others who hate you; accept both with an open heart because life’s too short for drama llama!
5. Sometimes the best things in life are right in front of you if only you’d take the time to notice them
I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but life is pretty amazing.
Like, if you just sit down and think about it for a second, you realize that our lives are a constant stream of extraordinary things happening.
The sun rises every day and sets every night. We get to eat delicious food and drink delicious drinks. We have friends and family who love us no matter what we do or how much we mess up (and they even forgive us when we really mess up).
You don’t need to look very far to find the things that will make you happy. Sometimes all it takes is a step back and taking a moment to appreciate everything around you.
I’m talking about those people who are right under your nose but you just don’t see them. They’re there, they’re part of your life, but somehow they’re invisible and unimportant to you. Maybe they’re not quite as exciting as the new person who has just walked into your life, or perhaps they’ve been there all along, and you just haven’t bothered to notice them.
But sometimes, we’re so caught up in our own problems that we forget how lucky we are. We get caught up in our jobs, our relationships, or how much we hate our bodies and think about all the things we wish were different about ourselves. But there’s a dog sitting outside right now thinking: “Hey, I’m pretty cute.”
If we could all take a moment to stop and look around us, we would realize that there are people in our lives who have been there for years — people who love us unconditionally and support us whenever we need it. These people don’t have any ulterior motives or hidden agendas; they’re just there for us when we need them most.
So today, I challenge each one of us to stop for a moment and look around at all the wonderful people who have been in our lives for years — and remember how much they mean to us!
6. In the end, only kindness matters
You will not get rich by being a jerk to everyone you meet. It’s just not going to happen.
Kindness is a gift that costs you nothing but gives others so much in return.
You will always be rewarded for being kind and thoughtful towards others no matter where or when you meet them — in this life or the next.
If someone doesn’t like you because they think you’re weird or different or whatever, that’s fine. They don’t deserve a place in your life anyway. Just remember this; kindness always wins over judgmentalism and negativity regardless.
So smile at strangers like an idiot on public transportation and try not to judge people too harshly. Because, in the end, we’re all just trying to get by like everyone else. And sometimes it’s nice to just be kind instead of being mean for no reason, ya know.
7. You don’t need to feel guilty for wanting to spend time alone with your thoughts now and again
As you get older, you’ll realize that it’s okay to feel like spending time alone with your thoughts. In fact, it can be more than okay — it’s beneficial.
You don’t need to feel guilty about it. It’s not like you’re neglecting someone else or ignoring their needs. You’re just taking some time for yourself to think, which is something everyone deserves to do once in a while.
And if you want to do it while sitting at home on the couch, watching Netflix, and eating ice cream? Well, that’s just fine too!
I know what you’re thinking: “I don’t need any recharge time! I’m a damn grownup! I can keep going forever!” But the truth is that no one person can last 24/7 without needing a little break once in a while. And given how much we’ve all been conditioned to feel guilty about taking time out for ourselves (or doing anything else deemed “selfish”), we have a tough time allowing ourselves the space needed to recharge our batteries.
I mean, I’m not saying you should just sit there and think about how alone you are all the time. That would be kind of a bummer, wouldn’t it? But once in a while, it’s nice to have some quiet time to yourself.
8. Some relationships are worth sacrificing for; others are not. Learn the difference
Relationships are like a big plate of spaghetti: there are so many strands, and you don’t want to eat them all at once. You have to c̶h̶o̶k̶e̶ choose carefully. You know what I’m talking about — you’re trying to do everything for everyone, but no matter how much you add, it never seems enough. It’s exhausting!
And then there are those relationships that don’t feel like a plate of spaghetti. They feel like a giant bowl of lasagna: delicious, nourishing, and satisfying. You know these people — they’re the ones who make you feel good about yourself and your life because they love being around you, and they give you confidence in your ability to be successful.
So how do you tell the difference between when it’s worth sacrificing for a relationship and when it’s not?
Here’s what I think: if your relationship makes you feel better about yourself by being in it, it’s worth sacrificing. If it doesn’t make you feel better about yourself by being in it, then maybe not so much.
If you’re thinking about ending a relationship, ask yourself one question: would I rather be doing something else? If the answer is “yes,” it’s probably not worth keeping. If the answer is “no,” then ask yourself another question: what am I willing to do for this person?
Think about it, and see if you can come up with an answer that isn’t “give up my entire life.” If you can’t, perhaps this relationship isn’t worth sacrificing after all.
9. It’s perfectly OK to still be figuring things out
We’ve been told it since we were little kids. And yet, we still feel like we’re failing somehow when our lives don’t come together in a neat little package by the time we hit our 20s or even 30s — and that’s just not fair.
You’re not alone if you still feel like you’re figuring it all out. Your twenties are a time when most people feel confused, lost, and unsure of themselves. This is a very common feeling, it’s not something to worry about. The truth is that your twenties aren’t supposed to be the most stable years of your life anyway!
We’ve all gone through the same things at different times: the uncertainty about what we want to do with our lives, the confusion about what kind of person we are, and how we fit into the world around us.
It’s perfectly OK~
You’ll learn more about yourself in this decade than any other time in your life, and if you want something different from what you’re doing now, go for it! Life is about learning and growing, so if your job isn’t working for you anymore or isn’t making you happy, look for a new one! There are plenty of jobs out there — you just have to find them or let them discover you.
Some of us start writing in our 30s and 40s, but many more find their first success modeling in their 60s and beyond. It’s never too late to discover your inner self.
10. You’ll learn a lot more from your mistakes than from your successes
We’ve all heard the saying,
“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”—Friedrich Nietzsche
And while it’s true that failure is often the best teacher, it can also be a pretty harsh one.
It’s the rare person who doesn’t make some kind of mistake in their 20s, but you’ll learn that it’s okay to make them. It’s also OK to ask for help when you need it; some people want to help you succeed, and sometimes they know better than you do how to get there.
This is true in many areas of life. When learning to drive, you’ll probably get into an accident or two before you’ve mastered the art of safely getting from point A to point B. It’s the same with cooking: even though we’re taught how to cook at home and in school, it takes lots of practice before we can make something that tastes good.
And even if you’re not a builder, you know there are plenty of times when you’ve built something that didn’t entirely turn out as planned — but that doesn’t mean you quit making things!
That’s because we learn more from our mistakes than our successes. If everything always went perfectly for us (that’d be boring as fuck anyway), we wouldn’t know what to do when things go wrong. And just think about all the great things that have come out of mistakes people made throughout history!
11. If someone wants to help you, let them
It will only make them feel good knowing they were able to do something for you. In fact, the more people that help you, the better off your life will be.
It’s hard to accept help. It feels like it diminishes your own abilities and worth as a person.
I had a hard time learning not to ask for help because, as a man, it’s not considered “manly” to have to ask for help. It shows that you’re weak, and crying is frowned upon in many situations. Although, I think it’s emotionally intelligent, and it’s a lot of empathy. *Shrug*
You might think it’s a waste of time and energy to let people help you with something because it’s better just to do everything yourself. And yes, there is some merit in being independent and self-reliant, but if someone is willing and able to lend a hand or two, then why not?
But sometimes, we need help. Sometimes, we need support and encouragement and someone to hold our hand through the tough times. Other times, we need someone to step in and get things done when we’re too tired, overwhelmed, or distracted to do so ourselves.
If someone wants to help you, let them. They aren’t doing it because they feel sorry for you. They’re doing it because they care enough to know what’s best for you, even if it means letting them step in and take over on your behalf. So you can focus on other things.
This isn’t about avoiding responsibility by taking advantage of others’ generosity; this is about learning from each other’s mistakes and successes so we can all grow together as friends/lovers/family members/colleagues/etc.
Conclusion
We’ve all gotten older and wiser, but sometimes, it takes a little longer to realize certain things. When you’re young, it’s natural to feel like your emotional intelligence is low and that you’re not where you’re expected to be in terms of life experience.
This can cause insecurity in young people, but overall, there are some lessons that one has to learn for themselves. It’s all a part of growing up and finding oneself.
Here are a few biggies I wish I had known at 25 or so. Hopefully, it will help those who are facing their quarter-life crisis. Now go out and make this world a better place!
