5 Things I Wish I Knew In College
I graduated from Georgetown University in May 2021 and learned a lot during those four years, much of which are social lessons rather than educational.
Here are five things I wish I knew before starting college/during college that would’ve helped me stay more mentally sane… I mean *happier*. ;)
(These are in no particular order — simply whatever came to mind first.)
- No one has it all together.
It’s easy to compare ourselves to other people — students, colleagues, coworkers, family, basically anyone and everyone. College is a time when everyone is figuring out what they want to do in life and what makes their hearts sing — academically, personally or both.
I used to think that everyone else had it all — good grades, lots of friends, stable finances — and it felt like life wasn’t working out just for me and the future didn’t look clear at all.
I thought that while everyone else was doing just fine, I was holding my head barely above water because I wasn’t one of those kids who knew exactly what they wanted to be since they were born.
In reality, when I started hearing people open up and share their own stories about their personal lives, it turns out that no one is perfect. Most people have some kind of challenge going on — either mentally, physically, financially, or anything.
It’s not our responsibility to judge others or be in their business, and at the same time, it’s not helpful to ourselves to constantly compare ourselves to others and make ourselves feel worse.
No one has it all together and it’s not expected that we all do. There are ups and downs all around. That’s just life.
2. Get the stick out of your as*.
I used to pride myself in refusing to drink alcohol and going out to parties/clubbing.
I only joined a few extracurricular clubs — breakdance, K-Pop crew Vibe_ (which ya girl co-founded with four other amazing girls), etc. — and wasn’t really interested in any of the others.
I chose to keep to myself because I didn’t know what the future held for me. Until college, I thought I would become a lawyer because that’s what was expected of me. I decided not to pursue law during my freshmen year, but then I felt stuck because it was the first time I was the one making the decisions and calling the shots on my future.
So, because I had no idea what kind of person I was and what I wanted to do career-wise, I decided to keep to myself instead and not ask for help. I tried out different classes for fun — accounting, biology, languages, etc… just to see if something would click.
But I wish I had asked for help. I wish I went to the Career Center more often and asked if there were any resources that could help me explore my personality and who could help me talk through career options after college. I wish I started exploring who I was sooner rather than later, like taking online personality tests or asking different people about their careers.
I wish I joined more clubs, even if they seemed totally irrelevant. Why? Because of meeting other people. One of the things I am most grateful for after college is that I started intentionally connecting with more people at conferences and online seminars. I tried to find what I had in common with others and how we could help each other in our goals.
I believe the reason people say college is the best four years of their lives is that they go all out. They join clubs, try new hobbies, actually go to their professors’ office hours, meet new people, and just explore.
(It also would’ve been cool to start my own podcast during college rather than senior year because podcast interviews are a SUPER easy way to get connected with many different types of people, so you might want to consider starting a podcast or your own personal/business project!)
3. College kids are not angels.
LOL. So for nearly all my life, from elementary to high school, I attended after-school academies and studied, studied, and studied, with only one goal in mind — getting accepted to college. During all those years and especially the later part of high school, I thought college would be HEAVEN.
I thought college kids would be the nicest people in the world and that there would be happiness and sparkles literally everywhere. I thought college kids were only good and never bad. I thought they were superheroes.
They’re not.
Okay, I won’t generalize — maybe some are?? But the point is, don’t expect college to be all happiness and sparkles. It’s really 50/50. 50% happiness and 50% barf from getting wasted at fraternity (“frat”) parties. It’s a lot of work but also a lot of new experiences.
Get ready for an introduction to the real world, where you are the one who gets to decide what kind of path and people are right for you, and a whole lot of “new” — people, food, places, everything.
4. You are not weird for getting enough sleep at night.
I usually had 4–5 classes during each semester. It really depends on your major and the types of classes you have for what kind of schedule you create. But it all comes down to time management and prioritizing the right things at the right time.
For me, my schedule wasn’t too crazy and I made it that way on purpose. I made time for studying and office hours, and I didn’t go out during the weekdays to go clubbing or hooking up with random people (which isn’t a “good” or “bad” thing, just wasn’t my personal cup of tea back then).
I remember one day I bumped into a friend about our class schedules and started talking. I’ll call them H.
H: “Hey, you got more classes today?”
Suz: “Nah, I had both my morning classes today. I’m free for the rest of the day.”
H: “Oh cool. Time to head over to the library to study all day? You got a lot of homework?”
Suz: “Nah, not really. I finished my homework in class and don’t have a ton left.”
Later that same day, we bumped into the rest of our friend group…
Suz: “Hey guys!”
H: “Hey — did you guys know Suzanne never studies? It’s like she never does her work or something (laughs).”
Suz: “ :) What.”
“More than 70 percent of college students say they get less than eight hours of sleep a day. Sixty percent of college students say they are “dragging, tired, or sleepy” at least three days a week. More than 80 percent of college students say the loss of sleep negatively affects their academic performance.” (https://admissions.usf.edu/blog/the-importance-of-sleep-for-college-students#:~:text=More%20than%2070%20percent%20of,negatively%20affects%20their%20academic%20performance.)
Although it was a small joke, it hinted at the concept that having proper time management or getting enough sleep at night was considered weird on a campus full of corporate and hustle culture.
It didn’t feel right with me and I’m very grateful that I didn’t/ didn’t need to force myself to adapt to that unhealthy culture.
5. Be nice to people.
I was trying to come up with a last piece of advice that might’ve seemed more cool or deep. But honestly, this is important for life in general.
We can never assume what is or isn’t happening in someone else’s life, what other people are feeling or not feeling at any given moment. We can only know what’s truly going on in our lives and can only control what WE do.
So — be a kind stranger. Do a small gesture of kindness that might end up being a ray of light in someone’s life for the first time in a long time.
If you’re on LinkedIn, write a shout-out post showing gratitude for certain people that exist in your world. (Feel free to read mine from last night as an example.)
Thank your family or friends for being who they are and for existing. You never know who needs it.
But most importantly, be kind to yourself. You’ve gone through a lot of sh*t (I’m assuming) or it might feel like nothing is working out sometimes. You know yourself best. Be your own kind friend first. Other people will see how you treat yourself and it gives them permission to be kind to themselves too.
If you’re thinking of college, in your freshman year, or about to graduate congratulations, and I hope this was helpful.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
Suzanne
