A Delicate Decision: A Father’s Reflection on Circumcision
Dear K,
I’m writing you about something quite sensitive. Since this is an anonymous letter, and there’s a slim chance you might never read it, I feel a bit more at ease. Isn’t it funny how we can talk about such personal things when we think no one’s listening? Anyway, the topic at hand is one that many parents grapple with, and we were no exception.
I want to delve into the subject of circumcision, a ritual that has been around for millennia and remains prevalent across the globe.
Its origins are not definitively known, but it is one of the oldest known surgical procedures, with evidence suggesting its practice dates back to ancient civilizations.
The procedure has been observed in different cultures worldwide, with varying rites and meanings. In ancient Egypt, for example, boys were circumcised between ages 6 and 12, while in other cultures, like among certain Ethiopian and Jewish communities, it is performed shortly after birth or in early childhood.
For some groups, such as certain Arab communities, circumcision is performed immediately before marriage. In many cultures, it is seen as a rite of passage into adulthood, often associated with social or sexual maturity.
It’s a bit odd talking about it, right? But here we are. This practice involves the removal of the foreskin from the penis, and it’s steeped in a long history, originating as a religious rite and persisting for a mix of religious, medical, and cultural reasons.
In the U.S., circumcision is surprisingly common. Can you believe that up to 60% of baby boys undergo this procedure? That’s a staggering number. Especially when you think about how it compares to the number of people following Judaism (~2%) and Islam (~1%) where circumcision is a religious practice. Around the world, the rates vary: it’s about 33% globally, with high numbers in the U.S., Middle East, and South Korea, and lower in Europe, other parts of Asia, and South America.
Now, getting down to the procedure itself, it’s generally considered safe and routine. Yet, as with any surgery, it carries risks like bleeding, infection, and reactions to anesthesia. But then there are the health benefits — lower risks of certain penile conditions, reduced chances of cervical cancer in female partners, decreased likelihood of penile cancer and some sexually transmitted infections, including HIV, and fewer urinary tract infections.
Interestingly, circumcision doesn’t impact fertility or sexual pleasure. Major health bodies, like the American Urological Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics, don’t push for or against it. They present it as a choice for parents, balancing the pros and cons, and recommend pain relief if the procedure is chosen.
On a different note, female circumcision, or female genital mutilation (FGM), is a whole other story. It’s a human rights violation with no health benefits and is rightly illegal in many places due to its severe physical and psychological impacts.
Our decision to skip circumcision was a carefully thought-out one, considering the medical risks and benefits, and our beliefs about bodily autonomy and consent. We had to make the decision for you as it gets hard and more painful as you grow older. One of the many decisions we will make for you.
At the end of the day, it seems like this procedures is more about tradition or a rite of passage than medical need. We weighed all this and concluded that the potential medical benefits didn’t quite tip the scale for us. It seemed more like a cultural or religious custom than a necessity.
With love,
Papa K
