THIS HAPPENS TO US/SOCIETY
Are Businesses Becoming Less Compassionate Toward Those In Need?
A look at our friend’s dire situation and the need to get him moving again
This is becoming a very common scene these days. Business owners and managers of establishments coming out and just outright awful, mean, or just not understanding. Things happen sometimes and people just need to catch a break.
Our friend has been living in his van for a few years now. He’s never been approached before because his van blends in with other vans that are used for delivery and other work-related jobs. He converted it and it looks nice on the inside. He has everything he needs in there and it isn’t just someone living out of their vehicle. It’s like a tiny house.
Before now, he could move around because his van was moving. He travels all over the country as he goes to Arizona for the winter and just came back from a van event in Western Massachusetts. He also has family in the area that he frequently visits. He knows a lot of people and is comfortable with his lifestyle.
That was until he broke down.
He was on his way back from his trip to Massachusetts when his van broke down on the Thruway. He had to pay a lot of money to get that van towed back to the area he’s familiar with which is over 100 miles away. It cost him about $500 even considering insurance. He towed it to the one spot he believed would be best for him to be safe and to get his van fixed promptly.
That’s where we came in.
Mike is very skilled in fixing vehicles. The problem is, with this van, it is a van that has one of the worst engines designed. It’s a newer van (2019) but it’s already had problems previously. Each time Mike’s worked on it, it’s usually been fixed.
Three weeks ago, the van broke down. I get that the manager of this space he’s been in would be weary of him being there that long. She never attempted to contact him before to ask him what was wrong. In fact, he didn’t even know she existed until she came out today. In the course of this time, we’ve been out to the van a number of times trying to figure out what was wrong replacing several parts trying to get it started. Someone had to have seen us trying to get him moving before then.
“You can’t stay here. I’m the manager. This space is only for hotel customers, mainly truckers, who want to stay here overnight,” she says to one of his friends, visiting him.
“I have a house. I don’t need to stay here. I’m visiting my friend who’s broken down. There have been multiple attempts to get his van fixed but it’s still broken.”
She didn’t respond to this and just drove off with her child in the vehicle, her face looking very sour and her disposition seeming very indifferent to this person who she sees as a non-paying customer in her space.
First of all, it’s common knowledge that everyone and anyone stays in this lot overnight. No one stays at the hotel just in front of the lot. It’s mainly used as an overflow for the truckers and RVers who can’t park at the truck stop next door.
A few minutes later, the cops pulled up and said that they’d been called in because the manager called and told them about what was going on, based on her limited knowledge of the situation. She didn’t even directly talk to our friend still, only talking to his friend. But she thought that she had enough information to just figure out that he was just trying to squat and not get moving.
At this point, we both felt handcuffed from a few miles away while we were still at camp. We couldn’t do anything to help our friend from here. He was hoping that the final part we could try to install came in today, as scheduled. It didn’t come yet. We weren't going to make it today anyway. We had just woke up and it was getting late. The part was coming to our mailbox. This part could potentially have saved this whole headache today.
Bad luck seems to be trying to get him at this point. With the manager being unsympathetic to his situation, unwilling to listen to anyone, and quick to call the cops, we can gauge how she is as a leader and a person, in general.
Our friend has been stir-crazy just sitting in that same spot for three weeks. Now he has to figure out a way to get towed to somewhere with more familiar faces and less hostile managers. He has a couple of options in the area. He just has to find a way to get himself towed there.
He could pay for a tow to go less than a mile. But we figure that it will be at least $150 minimum just to move him and he’s already had to spend thousands trying to get his van fixed since it broke down.
More than likely, he’s going to see if someone with a larger vehicle in the immediate vicinity could attach to his tow chain and get him to a safer spot. He doesn’t want to have to deal with the manager’s threats of towing him herself.
Or the threat of the cops coming back anytime soon. They were nice and cooperative with him and understanding of his situation the first time but who knows which way this goes?
This wouldn’t even be an issue right now if the manager knew the whole situation and wasn’t just trying to force out what she saw as a “problem.” I feel like if she had communicated clearly with him from the start, then our friend would’ve been able to meet her expectations.
Instead, he’s been stressed out and stranded longer than he’s wanted to be, and now on first contact, he’s being threatened with having his home towed away. And the cops coming back to trespass him or something worse. I hope that he can figure this out. This particular business handled this situation in a completely wrong way.
He hasn’t been distracting to anyone. He hasn’t been a nuisance being back there. He’s not even taking up a full truck spot back there either. He’s just trying to bide his time, keep his head down, and survive until we can come to his rescue and get his van running again.
For now, he’s having to be additionally stressed. His heart isn’t great. He’s almost 60 years old. He’s got some health issues. He needs compassion and support. Not what this manager tried to provide him. The deeper issue here is how society views people who live alternative lifestyles. He lives in his van.
So what? He’s got everything he needs in there.
He isn’t bothering anyone. I guess you can come over and defend this manager as she was “just doing her job.” I can see the other side of this. It just speaks to a much larger problem. Society’s view on people who don’t live like them. They’re treated like trash and are discarded without being listened to. I could understand if she tried to contact him many times before now and he still didn’t leave and didn’t comply with her.
But this was just one time and she was already done. She didn’t even talk to him directly. This reminds me of the time the cops came to us when we were stranded in our yellow box truck a couple of years ago.
We were also in a spot that was on the border of two businesses, including a truck stop. We found out we were in a developer’s lot. They were maintaining a poorly maintained former K-Mart parking lot next to a truck stop. We had been patronizing the business at the truck stop and surrounding businesses.
On first contact, shortly after, just like in our friend’s case, we also got a wake-up call from the cops. We lived in an unconventional vehicle at the time. It was a mobile tiny home.
The point is, until these greedy businesses figure out a better approach, this is sadly how people are treated. It’s a sad indictment of our current society. Things can’t stay this way. It’s unsustainable.
People can’t be threatened by law enforcement or get their whole lives upended because it doesn’t help their bottom line. He was still patronizing another one of the businesses she owns there, and the truck stop as well.
This is just unfair and it makes it seem that businesses, at the end of the day, just act impulsively instead of strategically, and it’s frustrating.
What do you think of this whole situation? How do you think the manager handled it? I’m not claiming to be an authority on the right way here. I just feel like businesses should and can handle situations like these more compassionately, particularly when it comes to people who live in their vehicles.
You’re threatening their entire homes by being this way. That would just exacerbate the current homeless problem in America.
