Member-only story
Cause of Death: TEENAGERS
Love kills
Little Jenny once bugged you for candy — and you thought the sugar rush was already a major headache.
But the time will come when lollipops will fail to bring a smile to her face. Just when you think you’ve gotten the hang of fatherhood, life will up the ante and make things more interesting.
Changes and challenges will arise that can cause a full-grown man to whimper in the fetal position.
In 10–12 years, she will outgrow Kool-Aid and the Ziplock bag and will create a world of her own. A world of pop stars and the latest gizmos. A world where parental supervision is cancerous — one involving a room with more security features than Fort Knox.
It will be a time of odd behavior and questionable fashion choices. Father and daughter will converse like two deaf persons, engaged in verbal ballet peppered with vicious insults, veiled threats, and newly-coined phrases. Underscored in all this is the battle for control:
‘Oh, no way are you wearing that! Go back upstairs and turn back time, now! No daughter of mine will look like some 40-year old woman standing in some corner, chewing some gum! ’
‘Get out of my room! Who told you you can come here?! Did I summon you to my chambers, father?’
‘This, your room?! Look…
