Cheese is Overrated
Expired milk curds... Umm, maybe on a salad?
All those fancy advertisements we see on our social media, those cheese-pulling videos — don’t even get me started on those cheese taps that are in restaurants and people pouring an ungodly amount of cheese on their meals. It looks dope, right, but what about the taste?
Cheese has somehow managed to sneak its way into nearly every culinary corner of the world, from the Italian classics like pizza and pasta to American cheeseburgers, and has made its way into many Asian dishes as well.
While some cheeses, like Gouda and Parmigiano Reggiano, have some flavor (although not the best), they are still practical as they add something to the dish. However, those abhorrent manufactured cheeses like taste like plastic Eughh!! That shit is disgusting.
I’m sorry, but I gotta rant about this dairy monstrosity. Here are a few points that explain why cheese is overrated as hell.
1. Cheese-ify Everything
Whenever I go to a restaurant these days, there’s always the same 3 or 4 things that are highlighted, and then the rest of the stuff is all the same. It's because cheese has become the go-to answer to every dish. Whether its sandwiches, noodles, or even fucking cake! These people are putting cheese on everything. I truly believe restaurants just put all their leftovers over there with fries, sprinkle some cheese on them, and serve them as loaded fries.
How about I load this fist on your face? Okay, maybe that was a bit too harsh. I just say thank you for whatever the waiter puts in front of me (even if it’s the wrong order). But I still have the right to be infuriated.
It’s becoming more and more apparent that restaurants are losing their creativity. They just add cheese to everything because, apparently, it sells. Chefs are refusing to create more interesting dishes that have a blend of flavorful spices. We need to stand up against this “Make Everything Cheese” propaganda.
2. The Lactose Dilemma
Did you know you can eat outside without upsetting your stomach? Apparently, understanding this is quite difficult for lactose-intolerant people. I’m not trying to make fun of someone’s condition, and as we all know, lactose intolerance affects a significant portion of the population.
But some lactose-intolerant people just don’t give a shit; well, they will have to after eating tons of cheese…but that’s not the point. The point I’m trying to make is that why are we so obsessed with consuming something that harms us and also tastes medium at best?
3. ”Cheese” Equals “Cholesterol”
Cheese isn’t just bad for lactose-intolerant people, as it contains tons of cholesterol just waiting to enter your digestive system and block your arteries. Packed with saturated fat and enough sodium to rival a salt mine, cheese isn’t winning any health awards. Even though we know all of this, we still choose to bombard our burgers, pizzas, and sandwiches with this dairy horror.
4. Better Alternatives
There are a plethora of better alternatives that not only taste good but also don’t have adverse effects on our health. Plant-based cheeses and sauces created from vegetables that compliment culinary dishes from all over the world are great options for people who want to try authentic foods. There are tons of innovative ingredients ready to take the spotlight. Join me as we take down this
Cheese Imperialism that poisons the world. We must treat Cheese like a guest who has overstayed their welcome. It’s about time we widen our palates and let new ingredients emulsify our taste buds.
To conclude, I just want to say that this post is satire, as I do not hold so much hate for cheese in my heart (okay, maybe a little bit). So don’t get offended if this strikes a nerve in your cheese-loving ass. Byeee.
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