Criticisms in the Guise of Compliments
Becoming demure and very mindful
I find it personally offensive when people talk about my weight and my complexion. Criticisms in the guise of statements such as: “you don fat, you don thin, you don black, you don fair” are not what you should be saying to people's faces but that is the lesser evil.
In this bad economy we live in coupled with the rise of inflation and depression, some opinions should not be voiced; opinions like “when are you getting married”, “when are you having kids?”, “why is your bumbum flat?”, “why are you so skinny?”, “Are you not going to the gym to lose weight?”, etc. That is not very mindful or considerate, do you want someone to commit suicide?
I heard a story of a young lady who happens to be the eldest in her family. All her sisters were married except her and she was so desperate to get married as she was over thirty (30) so she started using her money to support her boyfriend so he could become financially stable so they could marry but he was cheating on her with a young and broke girl. This is not the reason I am sharing this story, it is not for us to judge but what is for us to judge is how her boss at work was always shoving the question “when are you getting married? You are getting old” in her face that she spiraled into depression and continuous tears. You see how the boss was not very mindful? If he was, he should have given her a husband since he cared so much.
My cousin has always been a big girl and this always put her in the spotlight for people to criticize. Personally, when I met her a few months ago, I was shocked at how big she had become but she has always been big so no surprise there. But people will be people and they still criticize her despite her own internal struggles. She has tried her best to lose weight but it doesn’t work. I mean, have you heard of PCOS? Anyways, she read my story “you are getting fat” and shared some of her experiences with me and I can say for a fact that people are mean (screenshots attached with her permission).
The list goes on and on but I just wish we would be kind to our fellow human beings especially in these times we live in so that people who are struggling with their realities are not forced into depression and other vices. Also, if you have low self-esteem, I encourage you to try and build your esteem so people's words does not hurt you badly.
This is just a reminder for you to please watch your words around people and if you haven't been mindful to people in the past, today is a good day to start being considerate. Be demure and mindful in your dealings with fellow human beings.
