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Exclusive: Excerpts from Trump’s God Bless the USA Bible

You’ll also want to check out the special, exclusive centerfold edition!

If you’re surprised that I got my hands on an exclusive look inside the new, exciting God Bless the USA Bible being sold by the Grifter in Chief for sixty-nine bucks or whatever, you must be new to my writing here on Medium.

Image of Trump’s Bible: cropped screenshot from https://godblesstheusabible.com/; fair use claim; image smashup by author

Little do people know that there is a special centerfold edition that celebrates the days when America was great — in other words when every auto parts store had a bikini calendar and every manly magazine (made for real men) had a centerfold.

Let’s make America great again by exploring excerpts from this special translation! Strap yourself in and buckle up, pardners!

Excerpts from God Bless the USA Bible

If you’d like to follow along with an obsolete Bible translation, you can find one here:

Bible Gateway passage: John 1 - English Standard Version

Book of John 1:1–3