First Impressions
When strangers first see me I’m met with a variety of countenances, ranging from disgust to wonder. In between, there are also often looks of curiosity, pity, sadness, wariness, surprise, and even fear, but sometimes also tenderness, warmth, and on occasion even admiration. Rarely do people look bored or indifferent.
I’m often viewed as either tragic or heroic. Worthless or brave. Of course, it may all be my imagination, but I know from lifelong experience it probably isn’t. They often clock my wheelchair first which often defines for them (in an instant) their whole perception of me. They assume they know me just from my power chair that they see me sitting in or driving.
When I give talks and presentations about my life I see these same reactions from my audiences. I begin by talking of early negative assumptions and low expectations that were made about me from my early days and even now. Doctors, social workers, careers advisors — and on occasion even my late Mother — had very pessimistic views about my future.
By the end of these lectures, I have overturned, hopefully, all those negative ideas and stereotypes. The audience generally goes away with a different idea about me, certainly moving on from their initial judgments which are primarily based on the fact of my being disabled.
In some ways, this is also the purpose of the autobiography I am working on. I’ve never set out to be inspirational, I’ve just got on with my life, but if some readers feel inspired then fine. I hope I come across as optimistic — the one thing I absolutely hate is people feeling sorry for me. Like everyone’s, my life has had its ups and downs, its challenges and misfortunes. But generally, I’ve been incredibly lucky — both in terms of the support I have had from my family, my friends, and colleagues, but also in terms of my achievements and breaking down some of the barriers that blocked my path along the way.
I am extremely fortunate to have Angela as my loving and caring wife and two fantastic children — Daisy now aged 12 and Oliver aged six.
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