Five Ways to Sell More Books Without Annoying Me
I mean, without annoying Me and Everyone Else
I have three published culinary mysteries under my belt, but because my publisher died recently and I don’t know what’s going to happen next, I’m having a hard time working on my current Work-In-Progress. What better way is there to spend my writing time than to rant, complain, and give random advice to other authors?
I’ve spent the past four years trying to publicize my books, and so far this year, over 1,000 copies have been sold. It’s not “WOO-HOO-I’m-a-bestseller” territory, but not terrible considering that nearly 4 million books are published in this country each year. (According to Mr. Google, that’s about 11,000 books a day, but the number grows every day).
How did anyone happen to pluck one of my culinary mysteries from the millions of offerings available? No idea, although I’m constantly sending silent please-buy-my-book wishes into the world, and when I participate in Zoom meetings, I secretly try to hypnotize everyone on the screen into buying one of my books.
What about reviews? I’ve worked hard, paid NetGalley and got a total of three reviews from that, and have bugged nearly everyone I know, but I can’t even get my siblings to submit a review, so how can I expect strangers to spend precious time when everyone asks for a review these days? I refuse to review dentist appointments or deliveries of groceries, but I try to help authors. The book reviews I’ve got have helped with sales, but they’re not the whole story.
What about advertising? I’ve done experiments with advertising, which cost more than I earned on book sales. It feels like a necessary evil, and maybe with more tweaking, I’ll break even, but isn’t it sad that we have to do it? One of my friends, who’s written over twenty books, says that advertising makes a huge difference in her book sales, but she’s also a Forensic Writing Analyst who has testified in trials and wrote The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Handwriting Analysis. She’s KNOWN, she’s written mystery, paranormal, and nonfiction books, but she still has to advertise…what does that mean for the rest of us?
What about writing on Medium? My guess is that Medium members spend so much time reading each other’s essays, they have very little time to read books. Also, I’m a writer, not a “producer of content,” and it’s unlikely that I’ll wake up one morning with a gazillion new followers. I write on Medium instead of posting my rants, complaints, and travel stories on a personal blog.
What about guest posting and conferences? Not sure if writing essays to post on other author’s blogs has inspired sales, but I love it because nothing makes me feel as warm and cozy as authors who help each other. And maybe, just maybe, one of their followers will enjoy my essay so much that they’ll be inspired to buy one of my books. I also enjoy book fairs and mystery conferences —I love meeting other authors, hearing their stories, and really love having drinks at the end of the day with new friends. All of that is important in becoming known as an author, and for me, conferences are good opportunities to send silent, hypnotic “buy my book” thoughts to crowds of potential readers.
What about social media? I’m tired of the constant stream of authors selling their wares. I wish more authors would recommend books by other authors — just yesterday, one of my friends praised a book she’d just read and bing bang boom, I bought it. If I read an advertisement, I might check out the book, but it’s unlikely that I’ll press the BUY button. I post a weekly podcast interview (New Books Network) on Instagram, where also I post a weekly Roasted Vegetable Platter (I consider it a public service), and Facebook.
Truth be told, I spend way too much time on both platforms looking at yummy-sounding recipe videos, beautiful dresses, gorgeous shoes, stunning a cappella performances, my son’s best friend from high school PokemonMasterZo, and Boomer Mom (hysterical). I never buy anything that’s advertised, but true story: my son saw an advertisement for graduate school while scrolling, and enrolled in the program!
To conclude this ersatz (love this word — it means a cheap substitute for the real thing) discussion about how to get my (and others) attention on social media, here’s a list of 6 Ways to be a Better Social Media Citizen:
1. Even if I loved cats and they didn’t make me want to scratch out my eyeballs, pictures of them on or next to your novel will NOT inspire me to buy it. Cat lovers, who are a mystery to me, might very well choose only books with cats on the covers, but I don’t get it.
2. When you can’t think of anything else to post, and feel like you must show up that day, consider an amusing cartoon that pokes fun at writing, authors, grammar, and books. I always appreciate a good chuckle.
3. Everyone loves beautiful photos of nature but try not to brag about where you’re vacationing, or being at a fabulous wedding to which I’m not invited. That won’t sell books.
4. Stop posting over and over about your book being on sale. Bargain hunters know about Smashwords and other sites, and those who like free books have heard of libraries. I want books that are well-edited and well-written. It’s like ice cream or chocolate; nobody wants the cheapest version.
5. Make plans with a few Facebook friends to comment on each other’s posts now and then. You’ll get at least a few likes, comments, and if you’re lucky, a share or two.
6. Be generous about sharing posts and don’t say mean things. If I post a picture of a strawberry-rhubarb crisp, don’t comment that you’re allergic to strawberries or you hate crisps. When I post a podcast interview with a memoir author, don’t point out that you dislike memoirs, books set in NYC, or women’s fiction. Unless you’re a troll (in which case, I’ll block you).
I know that younger generations (like my kids and their partners) left Facebook as soon as we Boomers got involved. I think the audience for my books is older, so Facebook is right for me. If you friend me (and you’re not a nutcase, trying to sell me something, or the author of violent porn), I’ll usually friend you back. I’ll even comment on your posts (but not the ones with cats or dogs).
I wish all my author colleagues better social media posting, and may all your readers leave 5-star reviews!
*This essay is a follow-up to “Buy My Book. Please Buy My Book. Have I mentioned My Book?” my previous scholarly essay on the subject of finding readers. For more rants, songs, podcasts, probing essays about things that irritate me, and a list of my All-Time-Favorite-Mystery-Authors, please visit gpgottlieb.com.
