Goodbye to a Friend
We don’t all get to know when our time is up, a blessing? For some it’s not the same, they know. Maybe not to the minute, the hour, but soon, weeks? I have a friend who finds herself in this situation, too young.
She was my first ‘love’ if a high schooler can indeed fall in love, know what it might be. Whatever it was she was it for me, beautiful, stunningly so, and even had one of those British accents.
We met in our later years in high school. Had a few classes together, she reminded me. First, the only time I got drunk was to impress her, she did egg me on, laughing away as I did whatever it was I did. Hey, I made her laugh. Lots changed after high school and that was it for our romance, sweet as it was.
A few years back we reconnect courtesy of Facebook, well Meta. Cutting a long story shorter she was now into her third bout of Pancreatic cancer. Not a formidable foe. She’d beaten it a couple of times and was now too exhausted to do battle again.
We spent a fair amount of time on messenger calls reminiscing a little. “What did you like about me?” and such. For me, that beautiful girl was interested in me was more than enough. Yes, I stole the car to go visit at every opportunity. Most encounters are still a blur, might have been drunk, but no liquor required.
She shared a few snippets with me, and my ego blushed. “I’d sit behind you in class and burn a hole into the back of your head”, “I’d hide in the bushes and watch you ride, my bicycle mind you, into the bike storage area”. “I was attracted to you because you were smart”, like my eyes too. Not to sound too pathetic I had no clue, okay not good even for an oblivious boy.
Not knowing my role, and my obligation, I decided on humor, making her laugh. Well, it wasn’t that difficult, above all, she found me funny. Some calls would begin with her in a good mood, had some stuff to do, and kept her mind off it. On other occasions, I made it a point to have her leave the conversation with a smile.
Nothing out of bounds, death held court. Seems the more irreverent, the more the healing power. I don’t know where it came from other than from the heart, trying to keep someone with all kinds of pain that I could never fathom, humored, misdirected for a spec in time.
We made plans, to meet, and say hello/goodbye, but unfortunately, it didn’t materialize.
We are in the last stretch, she’s thankful but concerned about her pets that will be left behind. She sent me a voice note asking for ideas. She sounded beyond exhausted. All I ask — open the door…
