FICTION
Have You Ever Met a Ned?
Are they becoming extinct?
Without undue modesty I will state here I have a terrific memory, but Miranda was an encyclopedia, could elaborate on almost any topic. In complete paragraphs.
She knew every breed of dog, every dog we’d pass on our walks through Central or Riverside Parks.
She’d point at a thick-furred medium-sized silver dog. “There’s a Keeshond; the breed is called keeshondun in Dutch, which is where the breed originated. I bet his owners need a super expensive vacuum.”
We’d pass another and I’d hear, “Those Weimaraners are bursting with energy. Without a yard, you probably have to walk them for hours.”
She even compared me to a dog, said to me, “You have the kind of body I like. Not like a whippet, not like a bulldog, not like an Afghan or a Retriever. More like a Dalmatian. Sleek but well muscled.”
“Thanks for calling me a dogsbody. I never knew you found me so boring.”
“I love dogs. Being built like a Dalmatian is a great compliment.”
“Maybe I’d rather be a Retriever.”
“No. Retrievers are wonderful companions, delightful doggies, but not clean-lined. Seth Rogan is a Retriever, rounded and fluffy.
