Member-only story
Hispanic Heritage Month and Brown Fixation
Dispelling the most annoying stereotype Hispanic Heritage Month conjures
“Annette, look at her legs,” one of the adult women said to another while pointing at my little 9-year-old legs.
“Oh, you f***in’ b***h,” Annette said to me, “You don’t ever have to worry about wearing pantyhose!”
I looked down at my legs, confused. I did not understand how my short, hairy legs, which my mom said I was too young to shave, could inspire envy.
Fast forward another five or so years to some random high school at a Speech and Debate tournament. A red-haired, fair-skinned friend of mine spiraled into a panic — she had forgotten to pack her pantyhose!!
I didn’t get it. I said, “Well I don’t have pantyhose either.”
Another friend said, “Yeah but you’re naturally darker than she is.”
“So?” I replied.
“She doesn’t want to glow in the dark.”
Having been around mostly Hispanic people my whole life up to that point, including my large extended family and my hometown, I truly had no idea why anyone with white skin would feel insecure about having pale legs.
Didn’t everyone want to be white? That’s what I subconsciously absorbed growing up and seeing nothing but porcelain and peach-skinned dolls, light-skinned ultra-rich movie stars, European-descended characters in books I was required to read in high school, American figures in history who were all white, etc.
I examine those early memories now, those markers in my life when I learned that my skin color is a salient aspect of me. And a dead giveaway of my Hispanic and Indigenous heritage.
To me, my skin color is just normal. But to pretty white girls I’ve met, it’s a source of envy and admiration. To a former white boyfriend, it was a source of exoticism, and fascination, something to be commented on regularly.
Until I met my husband, who is of Scottish and northern European descent, I didn’t realize that not everyone darkens by a few shades in the summertime. I didn’t understand the severe power the sun has on human epidermis low in melanin, and how it can scorch white skin…
