How Anxiety Makes You Terrified of the Opposite Sex
Signs that anxious interactions with the opposite sex expose you to danger
I come from India where everyone from a generation ago was foolishly terrified of the opposite sex. No kidding! To the baby boomers, healthy friendships with the opposite sex were shameful. Dating was a sin. They rarely mingled so became frightened of one another.
India has moved on since then but a small percentage of Indians & others around the world are still terrified of the opposite sex
It has nothing to do with oppressive social norms. These people may seem normal & happy but suffer from extreme anxiety.
For those who suffer from high anxiety or Highly Anxious People (HAP), tension with the opposite sex has ruined their social interactions forever.
If someone you care about or you yourself have such concerns look out for these specific signs:
Craving healthy relations but being terrified of the opposite sex instead
HAPs feel abnormal because they find it difficult to maintain friendships with the opposite sex. I know some HAPs who can’t look the opposite sex in the eye on their bad days!
They are the people who fall deeply but fickle in love often.
They rationalize their desires by talking about superficial allures like looks & charm. It is heart-wrenchingly sad that the objects of their affection don’t return the love.
Blinded by delusions they can’t have healthy relations with friends of the same sex either
The opposite sex holds so much power over HAPs that they make enemies with those of the same sex. They are deluded by jealousy that makes them behave badly. They feel guilt but cannot control their impulses. Even more painful to know is the truth that the targets of their cruelty are those near & dear to them.
They are terrified of the opposite sex because they may have been bullied
When you are highly anxious you bumble during normal interactions with the opposite sex. This means unkind bullies target HAPs because they seem weird. Their terror of being bullied feeds HAPs & they become more terrified of the opposite sex.
Social situations can make them physically ill
HAPs are scared of social situations because it means they have to face the opposite sex. But they find it necessary to accept all social invitations because of their compulsive need to people please. A perfect Catch 22! What we overlook is that people are mean to those suffering from anxiety. They treat anxiety like a joke or use the HAPs' weakness to control them. If they care, they handle HAPs with kid gloves, making them feel different & left out.
HAPs go out of their way to please the opposite sex
HAPs are obsessed with how the opposite sex perceives the way they behave. Specific warning signs may be:
-HAP doesn’t look at the opposite sex objectively. In the process of accommodating them, HAPs forget who they are.
- They get taken advantage of because they find it difficult to say ‘no’ to the opposite sex
· HAPs may not be aware of their mental health issue, but they know all is not right in their world. So, they take full blame for a situation with the opposite sex even when it takes two to tango.
HAPs are oblivious to real dangers from the opposite sex
This situation is a real bummer & creepy as hell. Anxious women face it more than men. To the anxious the world is a scary place, as treacherous as a game of Resident Evil.
Since HAPs are on high alert about things that are normal to others, they are not mindful of their surroundings. They look out for fake fears so they may be ironically naïve to real dangers from the opposite sex. This kind of danger always turns up unannounced in the HAP’s life.
If you relate to these compulsive behavior traits, you may want to get your mental health checked. But be kind to yourself, even if no one else is. If you suspect a friend has high anxiety, be there for them even if the temptation to run is strong. They need you now, more than ever.
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