How to Effectively Plant Thoughts & Ideas Into Someone’s Head
7 Stealthy ways to influence…with precision
The ability to plant thoughts and ideas is akin to being a skilled gardener — nurturing, strategic, and patient.
Whether you’re a leader aiming to inspire your team, a marketer seeking to influence consumer behavior, or simply someone wanting to persuade others of your vision, the art of effectively planting thoughts into someone’s head is a powerful (and dangerous) skill.In this guide, we’ll get into the secrets of insinuation and persuasion.
#1 The Banal Remark
These are seemingly ordinary or unremarkable statements that secretly plant ideas into someone’s head. Because they are quick, they barely register, and therefore do not arouse suspicion.
It’s like flicking mustard seeds into the conversation. These seeds are so tiny you won’t notice them in the moment. But in the hours and days after, they’ll grow in your listeners’ minds into something formidable.
Our statements contain more information than we’re consciously aware of, so even banal statements can convey a ton of background information.
A simple statement like, “The place was so busy…” can be loaded with meaning.
“The place was so busy…” —especially when it’s referring to, say, a new, expensive, happening club or spot will soon tell your listeners, for example, that 1) You’re informed on the trendiest spots in the city and 2) You can afford to be there.
Now, if you round out this banal remark with “The place was so busy, I told my friends we should go somewhere else,” it would then further suggest that 1) You have a circle of friends and 2) You’re probably their leader.
The mind will squeeze all that information from such an innocent remark, and deposit it at the back of the mind of your listener.
So don’t belittle those banal statements. Craft them carefully for your ends. They’re usually not meticulously examined, so you can use them to smuggle some truly potent material.
#2 The Freudian Slip
Many of us believe that the “Freudian Slip” is the bearer of truth — that the speaker, unintentionally, has betrayed himself and has revealed what is actually on his mind.
Knowing that this is what people believe, you can use intentional “Freudian slips” to plant ideas. These would be “unintended” comments that you quickly apologize for or change the topic on, with the hopes that your listeners didn’t notice your “faux pas”.
But trust me, your listeners will notice. It will go over. And the fact that you’re backtracking highlights for them the veracity of your original statement.
So you can artfully sneak in the things that you really want to say while still having a level of deniability about the whole thing.
For example:
I think want a baby, um I mean, a dog for 2024.
He’s such a team player, I hope Derek, I mean, Dave gets the promotion.
With an affected Freudian slip, you can suggest something…without really suggesting it.
#3 The Undersell (Reverse Psychology)
Sometimes we want to say something obviously true. But then if we say it directly, we come off as arrogant and untrustworthy.
So, for example, maybe over the years you’ve had a successful business, and you’ve been tearing it up in your space. Your acquaintances are clearly noticing and are making comments about it.
So they might say, “Man, your online marketing agency is really killing it!”
Don’t go answering with, “Yeah, I’m makin’ it rain, baby!” Because then you change the focus from your exploding business to your exploding head.
Instead, deflect the praise and say something like, “Nah, just got lucky man. Been very busy these past months.”
You’re not confirming it directly, but you’re really saying, “Hell yeah!”, but in a socially-acceptable way. And in a way that leaves no doubt in your listeners’ minds.
It has the added benefit of clothing you with a mantle of humility (and integrity) — making any further assertions believable.
#4 The Softsell (Vagueness & Ambiguity)
People often have rational (and irrational) defenses for any frontal suggestions. The fact is, nobody wanted their thoughts and decisions to be dictated and influenced by others.
People would rather take action on the thoughts and ideas emanating from their own gray matter.
So, unless you have ultimate de facto power, it’s rarely effective to employ direct suggestions.
By using the “soft sell” approach, where you vaguely nudge the train of thinking, you can plant seeds and quickly influence people’s actions.
Say, you’re part of a team that has to have a meeting, and you want it to take place at 3 o’clock. Unless you’re the team leader, other people, the insecure ones particularly, will veto a suggestion delivered like, “Guys, let’s meet at 3.”
(Even if this sounds reasonable enough, other people would not want you to get your way. Who are you to tell people what to do, anyway?)
But if you ensconce your proposal with something like, “Guys, it would be great if we can get everybody’s thoughts on the issue. Perhaps it would be better if we wait for the fellas from the field to come in. What do you think?”
(Well, of course, it’s better to get everybody’s thoughts on this! Duh.)
So what time do the boys come back? 2:30.
So the team starts the meeting at 3:00.
You didn’t tell people to start at 3:00. You merely gave a soft, but uncontestable idea that getting everybody’s thoughts is important.
People arrived at the conclusion on their own. It was their idea to start the meeting start at 3.
But you know better.
#5 Repetition, Repetition…Repetition!
If there’s any doubt that your listener has received the message, you might want to resort to repetition to reinforce the idea.
Repetition, of course, makes things memorable. The problem with it though is that if done incorrectly, it can make implanted thoughts obvious and therefore up for scrutiny and rejection.
When your listener slowly realizes that you’ve been working on them, the whole enterprise will backfire on you and you will come out worse than when you started. You will lose credibility and will have a much harder time persuading thereafter.
So while repetition can be powerful, it has to be executed very subtly. You don’t want to seem pushy or be a try-hard.
The one thing to remember with repetition is that it shouldn’t be repetitive. This means you should vary the delivery, placements, timing, modalities, etc. The variation dresses up the same idea in different clothes and conceals your intent.
Say, you want to plant in your listener’s head the idea of collaboration between your two companies. You might use different ways, stories, examples, or banal remarks to repeatedly pound on the idea.
So you might, for example, allude to news of two companies merging or comment on how well some joint project by two former competitors is going. At some other time, you might remark on one of the other party’s colleagues and mention you have the same type in your team, and that these two should meet.
Then you might also praise the individual’s achievements and comment on how your company appreciates what he or she has accomplished. You can also mention how similar/aligned both company’s corporate values are.
On the surface, there’s nothing repetitive about these things, but they are gentle nudges. They’re seeds planted that make it soon obvious that your two companies should collaborate.
#6 Perfect Timing
Not all moments are created equal.
There are moments when people are closed to ideas. It would be a waste on your part to try to insinuate during such times.
Just as a farmer knows the best time to plant seeds, and just as there are seasons for different types of produce, there’s a timing to these things.
The big idea here is that you should take advantage of positive moments and learn to lay low during negative times.
People are unusually open when they’re drunk with joy or in celebration. This is the perfect time to plant those seeds. They would probably say yes to everything!
On the other hand, in moments of tension or stress, people’s minds are often inhospitable to new ideas. They don’t even want to consider it. They’re suspicious, closed, and rigid. So take it easy.
(Besides, there’s not much you can do when just the sight of your face can possibly ruin their morning.)
Another time when people are more open to suggestions is during “transition times” — when they’ve just completed a project, or at the start of the new quarter. These are times to plant those seeds.
# 7 The Gossiper’s Repertoire
Now, this one is actually a big section and could warrant several articles, but let’s very briefly include it here and round things up.
So far, we’ve only talked about the verbal arsenal that an individual can use to influence and insinuate ideas into others.
In truth, there’s a whole universe of non-verbal artillery that is always at your disposal. And they’re probably more effective in planting the ideas in your listeners’ minds.
There’s a gossiper in every one of us and “The Gossiper’s Repertoire” is an evolved set of non-verbal strategies that allow one to say something without actually saying it.
They’re usually employed to revel fellow busybodies with the juiciest goings-on in the community.
The repertoire includes mainstays like:
- The Meaningful Pause (“Have you heard about Derek’s new…PAUSE…niece?”)
- The Knowing Head Tilt
- Eyes Wide Open (often used together with The Knowing Head Tilt)
- The Emphasizer (using volume and syllabication to indicate something juicy, eg. “They.Are.Still.In.The.Roooom!”)
These non-verbal subtexts are so effective, that one doesn’t need to wait long for the ideas to land in the listener’s mind. (You can see the dawning realization in real time!)
There’s so much more to be said about the non-verbal cues. We’ll have more opportunities in the coming weeks to flesh them out. But let’s quit here, for now.
Conversations provide ample opportunities to stealthily influence others. The 7 influence and insinuation techniques mentioned in this post are quite potent. They can spring forth ideas and thoughts in your listeners long after you’ve gone. So use them wisely.
(And be more conscious of when they’re being used against you.)
